Guest guest Posted April 13, 2005 Report Share Posted April 13, 2005 Muktimaa wrote: `She Who sweeps away the dirt of ignorance with Her Broom ofLight'`She Who has neither `too much' or `too little'`She Who dissolves all fear and doubt'`She Who consumes all our negativites' Dear Muktimaa ~ I really liked the way you organized some of your names for Shree Maa according to topic (bells and Chandi). This was incredibly instructive to see them in this light. Also I especially needed to read the one about the Chandi. I must confess to all of you, that, because of a variety of reasons, but mainly my health, on the very first day of the Navaratri sankalpa, I got behind. I tried the next day to catch up, but I wasn't able to, so I am not able to participate, which makes me very sad. I don't want to feel like I've let myself or the group or, most of all, Shree Maa, down. I wonder if there is something else I can do, like the Durga Puja Beginner, except I just looked everywhere for my Beginner book, and I can't find it. It is getting harder and harder to keep track of things in the trailer. First I thought, I will have to from the group...but I wasn't able to do it. Shree Maa and Swamiji and all of you have become too important to me. But I feel I have let everyone down. I wonder if, for the rest of Navaratri (which ends when?) I could so the seedha path, although I am not sure how I would break it up. I do have my Durga Puja Beginner CD, so I could listen to it. Any suggestions are welcome. It is a very humbling experience to come to you and tell you that I have failed in my sankalpa; it makes me want to cry because I really thought I could do it. But I don't want to leave the group because I failed. Eventually, all the inspiration I find here; eventually moving from my trailer to a house so I can have a real altar; eventually I hope to be able to really participate in these sankalpas and keep up and finish them. Maa's child, still crawling ~ Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2005 Report Share Posted April 13, 2005 Linda, I know how badly you must be feeling now. Illness in the body is perhaps the greatest obstacle to sadhana. It is very difficult to aspire to or perceive anything beyond the world of the senses, and to perform standard forms of tapasya, when the body is not at peace. You took a chance after convincing yourself you could follow through, and you found you could not. Divine Mother knows your heart. My advice to you is to continue the sankalpa through Navaratri and beyond, until it is finished. Do as much as you can; try to catch-up as best you can, but do not worry about what you cannot do. Mother will still be there to listen after Navaratri is over. May She greatly bless your every effort. Chris , nierika@a... wrote: > > Muktimaa wrote: > > `She Who sweeps away the dirt of ignorance with Her Broom of > Light' > > `She Who has neither `too much' or `too little' > > `She Who dissolves all fear and doubt' > > `She Who consumes all our negativites' > > > Dear Muktimaa ~ I really liked the way you organized some of your names for > Shree Maa according to topic (bells and Chandi). This was incredibly > instructive to see them in this light. Also I especially needed to read the one about > the Chandi. > > I must confess to all of you, that, because of a variety of reasons, but > mainly my health, on the very first day of the Navaratri sankalpa, I got behind. > I tried the next day to catch up, but I wasn't able to, so I am not able to > participate, which makes me very sad. I don't want to feel like I've let > myself or the group or, most of all, Shree Maa, down. I wonder if there is > something else I can do, like the Durga Puja Beginner, except I just looked > everywhere for my Beginner book, and I can't find it. It is getting harder and harder > to keep track of things in the trailer. > > First I thought, I will have to from the group...but I wasn't > able to do it. Shree Maa and Swamiji and all of you have become too important to > me. But I feel I have let everyone down. I wonder if, for the rest of > Navaratri (which ends when?) I could so the seedha path, although I am not sure how > I would break it up. I do have my Durga Puja Beginner CD, so I could listen > to it. Any suggestions are welcome. > > It is a very humbling experience to come to you and tell you that I have > failed in my sankalpa; it makes me want to cry because I really thought I could > do it. But I don't want to leave the group because I failed. Eventually, all > the inspiration I find here; eventually moving from my trailer to a house so I > can have a real altar; eventually I hope to be able to really participate in > these sankalpas and keep up and finish them. Maa's child, still crawling ~ > Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2005 Report Share Posted April 13, 2005 Please don't leave this group. And please don't punish yourself because you cannot continue. Given all the physical challenges you have been dealing with I'm amazed you have been able to come as far as you have--your heart is in the right place and in my opinion, intention is everything. My suggestion is why not just read the Chandi (again) as we go along but of course, I'm sure someone else could tell you better. My point is Maa loves you no matter what and I believe there is nothing you could do to change that. [snip] I must confess to all of you, that, because of a variety of reasons,but > mainly my health, on the very first day of the Navaratri sankalpa, Igot behind. > I tried the next day to catch up, but I wasn't able to, so I am notable to > participate, which makes me very sad. I don't want to feel like I'velet > myself or the group or, most of all, Shree Maa, down. I wonder ifthere is > something else I can do, like the Durga Puja Beginner, except Ijust looked > everywhere for my Beginner book, and I can't find it. It is gettingharder and harder > to keep track of things in the trailer.> > First I thought, I will have to from the group...but Iwasn't > able to do it. Shree Maa and Swamiji and all of you have become tooimportant to > me. But I feel I have let everyone down. I wonder if, for the rest of > Navaratri (which ends when?) I could so the seedha path, although Iam not sure how > I would break it up. I do have my Durga Puja Beginner CD, so Icould listen > to it. Any suggestions are welcome.> > It is a very humbling experience to come to you and tell you that Ihave > failed in my sankalpa; it makes me want to cry because I reallythought I could > do it. But I don't want to leave the group because I failed.Eventually, all > the inspiration I find here; eventually moving from my trailer to ahouse so I > can have a real altar; eventually I hope to be able to reallyparticipate in > these sankalpas and keep up and finish them. Maa's child, stillcrawling ~ > LindaBe Love, Berijoy http://www.egyirba.net ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You never miss your water 'til your well runs dry. Give thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2005 Report Share Posted April 13, 2005 I totally agree with Berijoy. Your contribute a lot to our sansang and we LOVE you. Did you read my note on my fast? I messed up on the second day. But I started afresh the next morning and it has been a real blessing. Just do what you can, even if it is just gazing at a picture of Maa. Don't even consider leaving the group! Ardis On Apr 13, 2005, at 3:04 PM, Berijoy wrote: > Namaste Linda, > > Please don't leave this group. And please don't punish yourself > because you cannot continue. Given all the physical challenges you > have been dealing with I'm amazed you have been able to come as far as > you have--your heart is in the right place and in my opinion, > intention is everything. My suggestion is why not just read the > Chandi (again) as we go along but of course, I'm sure someone else > could tell you better. My point is Maa loves you no matter what and I > believe there is nothing you could do to change that. > > [snip] I must confess to all of you, that, because of a variety of > reasons, > but > > mainly my health, on the very first day of the Navaratri sankalpa, I > got behind. > > I tried the next day to catch up, but I wasn't able to, so I am not > able to > > participate, which makes me very sad. I don't want to feel like I've > let > > myself or the group or, most of all, Shree Maa, down. I wonder if > there is > > something else I can do, like the Durga Puja Beginner, except I > just looked > > everywhere for my Beginner book, and I can't find it. It is getting > harder and harder > > to keep track of things in the trailer. > > > > First I thought, I will have to from the group...but I > wasn't > > able to do it. Shree Maa and Swamiji and all of you have become too > important to > > me. But I feel I have let everyone down. I wonder if, for the rest > of > > Navaratri (which ends when?) I could so the seedha path, although I > am not sure how > > I would break it up. I do have my Durga Puja Beginner CD, so I > could listen > > to it. Any suggestions are welcome. > > > > It is a very humbling experience to come to you and tell you that I > have > > failed in my sankalpa; it makes me want to cry because I really > thought I could > > do it. But I don't want to leave the group because I failed. > Eventually, all > > the inspiration I find here; eventually moving from my trailer to a > house so I > > can have a real altar; eventually I hope to be able to really > participate in > > these sankalpas and keep up and finish them. Maa's child, still > crawling ~ > > Linda > > > Be Love, > Berijoy > http://www.egyirba.net > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > You never miss your water 'til your well runs dry. Give thanks. > > > > Sponsor > > > > Children International > > Would you give Hope to a Child in need? > > > <332170_011805_newchildforemail.jpg> > > · > Click Here to meet a Girl > And Give Her Hope > > · > Click Here to meet a Boy > And Change His Life > > Learn More > > <l.gif> > > Links > > • > / > > • > > > • Terms of > Service. > > Attachment: (text/enriched) [not stored] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2005 Report Share Posted April 13, 2005 linda, check this out. i came up with this idea, to have an online retreat. swamiji blessed it and nanda organized it ... a lot of work too, planning sadhana activities for a group for about a week. so guess what. in the middle i had to drop out. things came up. there was no way i could proceed without seriously depriving someone else. remember, maa said do what you can .. she didn't say, do what you can't do. also, swamiji said, each moment is a new moment. that's where we do the sadhana, now, and planning tomorrow. part of the game of extending our capacities is finding our limits [which are not set in stone.] so it's a good thing really. JAI LINDA , nierika@a... wrote: > > Muktimaa wrote: > > `She Who sweeps away the dirt of ignorance with Her Broom of > Light' > > `She Who has neither `too much' or `too little' > > `She Who dissolves all fear and doubt' > > `She Who consumes all our negativites' > > > Dear Muktimaa ~ I really liked the way you organized some of your names for > Shree Maa according to topic (bells and Chandi). This was incredibly > instructive to see them in this light. Also I especially needed to read the one about > the Chandi. > > I must confess to all of you, that, because of a variety of reasons, but > mainly my health, on the very first day of the Navaratri sankalpa, I got behind. > I tried the next day to catch up, but I wasn't able to, so I am not able to > participate, which makes me very sad. I don't want to feel like I've let > myself or the group or, most of all, Shree Maa, down. I wonder if there is > something else I can do, like the Durga Puja Beginner, except I just looked > everywhere for my Beginner book, and I can't find it. It is getting harder and harder > to keep track of things in the trailer. > > First I thought, I will have to from the group...but I wasn't > able to do it. Shree Maa and Swamiji and all of you have become too important to > me. But I feel I have let everyone down. I wonder if, for the rest of > Navaratri (which ends when?) I could so the seedha path, although I am not sure how > I would break it up. I do have my Durga Puja Beginner CD, so I could listen > to it. Any suggestions are welcome. > > It is a very humbling experience to come to you and tell you that I have > failed in my sankalpa; it makes me want to cry because I really thought I could > do it. But I don't want to leave the group because I failed. Eventually, all > the inspiration I find here; eventually moving from my trailer to a house so I > can have a real altar; eventually I hope to be able to really participate in > these sankalpas and keep up and finish them. Maa's child, still crawling ~ > Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2005 Report Share Posted April 14, 2005 I pray that with all the love sent to you through the other mails that you are feeling much much better. Please remember that we see imperfection but Mother, because of her lover for us, only see our heart's devotion. May Mother's love bless and keep you dear sister. We will continue to prayer with and for you. Love Kalinierika (AT) aol (DOT) com wrote: Muktimaa wrote: `She Who sweeps away the dirt of ignorance with Her Broom ofLight'`She Who has neither `too much' or `too little'`She Who dissolves all fear and doubt'`She Who consumes all our negativites' Dear Muktimaa ~ I really liked the way you organized some of your names for Shree Maa according to topic (bells and Chandi). This was incredibly instructive to see them in this light. Also I especially needed to read the one about the Chandi. I must confess to all of you, that, because of a variety of reasons, but mainly my health, on the very first day of the Navaratri sankalpa, I got behind. I tried the next day to catch up, but I wasn't able to, so I am not able to participate, which makes me very sad. I don't want to feel like I've let myself or the group or, most of all, Shree Maa, down. I wonder if there is something else I can do, like the Durga Puja Beginner, except I just looked everywhere for my Beginner book, and I can't find it. It is getting harder and harder to keep track of things in the trailer. First I thought, I will have to from the group...but I wasn't able to do it. Shree Maa and Swamiji and all of you have become too important to me. But I feel I have let everyone down. I wonder if, for the rest of Navaratri (which ends when?) I could so the seedha path, although I am not sure how I would break it up. I do have my Durga Puja Beginner CD, so I could listen to it. Any suggestions are welcome. It is a very humbling experience to come to you and tell you that I have failed in my sankalpa; it makes me want to cry because I really thought I could do it. But I don't want to leave the group because I failed. Eventually, all the inspiration I find here; eventually moving from my trailer to a house so I can have a real altar; eventually I hope to be able to really participate in these sankalpas and keep up and finish them. Maa's child, still crawling ~ Linda Make your home page Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2005 Report Share Posted April 14, 2005 Linda wrote: "eventually moving from my trailer to a house so I can have a real altar" Dear Linda, Your heart, full of sweet devotion and sincerity towards God, is the most beautiful altar for Divine Mother. Mother has millions of temples, many pithas, many thrones throughout the universe. But Her favorite throne out of all of them is the one in the heart of Her true devotee. If we can't do physical puja, we can always clean the altar in our hearts with the water of inner purity, decorate it with the consciousness flowers of selfless prayers, and perform abhishekam with our tears of longing and love for Mother. It is said that as soon as we even THINK of offering something to Mother, She becomes extremely happy, and doesn't even notice whether we physically make the offering or not. Just that we had the auspicious thought is what counts to Her. Mother's love is infinite, boundless, unimaginable. She is beyond love, beyond compassion, beyond our ordinary concepts. It is only we who place the limits, because of the various hurts and disappointments we have experienced over many lives. Many times, those of us whose mothers did not model unconditional love for us will have trouble having faith in Devi's unconditional love. It's harder to imagine such a tremendous love when we did not experience the unconditional love of a human mother. We might have to work a bit more to overcome our sense of failure, of not being worthy of love. What we have to keep reminding ourselves is that Devi's love never ever wavers in its fullness. No matter what we are doing or not doing, thinking or not thinking, feeling or not feeling, Mother's love toward ALL of Her children is unchanging. We just have to keep tuning in to Devi in whatever way we can so that eventually we will break through the wall of our pain and experience that love for ourselves, and we will never doubt ourselves again. Jai Maa, Ekta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2005 Report Share Posted April 14, 2005 Dear Eleathea, Thank you so much for this. It applies to me in a very deep way. Part of the reason that I feel closer to Lord Shiva than to Devi is that my father was the nurturing, peaceful one and my mother was mentally ill and abusive. Although I am a woman, it is hard for me to trust in the Divine Feminine. Even at the Mandir, it was much more difficult for me to establish a relationship to Shree Maa than to Swamiji. I feel that it is a very key part of my growth in this lifetime to be able to trust and love the Goddess and thus to be able to love Myself. Thus, in a strange way, my mother is also my teacher. This Chandi sankalpa has been truly wonderful. I never took it so slowly before. I feel that Chandi Herself is blessing us. My love to you and all our brothers and sisters, Ardis On Apr 14, 2005, at 1:09 PM, Eleathea Barraclough wrote: > > Linda wrote: > > "eventually moving from my trailer to a house so I can have a real > altar" > > Dear Linda, > > Your heart, full of sweet devotion and sincerity towards God, is the > most > beautiful altar for Divine Mother. Mother has millions of temples, > many pithas, > many thrones throughout the universe. But Her favorite throne out of > all of > them is the one in the heart of Her true devotee. If we can't do > physical puja, > we can always clean the altar in our hearts with the water of inner > purity, > decorate it with the consciousness flowers of selfless prayers, and > perform > abhishekam with our tears of longing and love for Mother. > > It is said that as soon as we even THINK of offering something to > Mother, She > becomes extremely happy, and doesn't even notice whether we > physically make the > offering or not. Just that we had the auspicious thought is what > counts to Her. > > > Mother's love is infinite, boundless, unimaginable. She is beyond > love, beyond > compassion, beyond our ordinary concepts. It is only we who place the > limits, > because of the various hurts and disappointments we have experienced > over many > lives. Many times, those of us whose mothers did not model > unconditional love > for us will have trouble having faith in Devi's unconditional love. > It's harder > to imagine such a tremendous love when we did not experience the > unconditional > love of a human mother. > > We might have to work a bit more to overcome our sense of failure, of > not being > worthy of love. What we have to keep reminding ourselves is that > Devi's love > never ever wavers in its fullness. No matter what we are doing or not > doing, > thinking or not thinking, feeling or not feeling, Mother's love > toward ALL of > Her children is unchanging. We just have to keep tuning in to Devi in > whatever > way we can so that eventually we will break through the wall of our > pain and > experience that love for ourselves, and we will never doubt ourselves > again. > > Jai Maa, > Ekta > > > > > > > > Sponsor > > > > Children International > > Would you give Hope to a Child in need? > > > <332170_011805_newchildforemail.jpg> > > · > Click Here to meet a Girl > And Give Her Hope > > · > Click Here to meet a Boy > And Change His Life > > Learn More > > <l.gif> > > Links > > • > / > > • > > > • Terms of > Service. > > Attachment: (text/enriched) [not stored] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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