Guest guest Posted May 23, 2005 Report Share Posted May 23, 2005 Berijoy, sister, what you wrote is beautiful and touched me deeply. You spoke with great courage of the 'fear of being vulnerable even to god' and believe me, I understand. This fear is one that grows in proportion to our growth in understanding of what/who God is and what/who we are, I think. But to go forward despite the fear.... Your writing with such heartbreaking honesty shows to me that you are doing just that. with greatest respect I bow to you, om shantih, shantih, shantih, Henny , Berijoy <berijoy> wrote: > > beloved henny, > > thank you so much for your elegant mail. and thank you for sharing your > ideas with me. as you suggest here and as chris mentioned also, i know > or understand the things you say in my head. it is making the leap to my > heart that i seem to have difficulty doing. even if i know that swamiji > and shreemaa, for example, are the 'real deal' intellectually (which i > do believe), what is this resistence? chris' questions helped me > understand that it is a fear response. now i see what i have to address > in prayer. even though i have an intellectual understanding of this > there is she in me who is afraid to trust that that opening, who stands > guard at the gate to my heart, afraid to surrender to the guru, that > that trust won't be misplaced. there is the fear of being vulnerable > _*even to god*_ because just maybe...i will be hurt or my heart broken. > > wow. i don't think i really ever realized this in quite this way before. > it is not normal that i would even have raised the question in a forum > or with a group of people that i don't 'know.' in this regard i think i > have spoken because of the efforts of you and linda t, whose questions > and comments always seem to make you (in my opinion ) vulnerable to > chastisement or ridicule. (of course, i don't believe this would really > happen in this forum but the fear is there anyway). > > anyway, thank you again. i think i have a lot to consider. > > > > Be Love, > Berijoy > http://www.egyirba.net > `/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/`/ > ... > The spiritual path wrecks the body And afterwards restores it to > health. > > It destroys the house to unearth the treasure, And with that treasure > builds it > better than before. ~ Jellaludin Rumi > -=-=- > ... > Even if you?re on the right track, you?ll get run over if you just sit > there. ~Will Rogers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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