Gopaler-ma

[Guest guest]

It is hard to believe how the infinite God actually assumes a finite

human form and plays with human beings. But this play was actually

enacted in the life of a woman devotee of Sri Ramakrishna

Paramhansa.

 

She was known as Gopaler-ma, or 'Gopala's mother. Gopala, or cowherd

boy is an epithet of the child Krishna. Gopaler-ma's given name was

Aghoremani Devi, but she came to be called Gopaler-ma because of her

fervent

devotion to the infant Krishna, which culminated in Lord Krishna

appearing before her as a child of seemingly solid physical form.

Aghoremani

attained this high mystic experience by living a life of austerity

and

renunciation, and through her steadfast love for her Chosen Deity,

Gopala.

 

One way to approach God, according to traditional Hinduism, is by

practising any one of five dualistic attitudes, or modes. These

attitudes,

or modes, are manifested in the relationship between the devotee and

God, and they are:

 

1. Shanta Bhava, the peace and stillness felt in the presence

of

God

 

2. Dasya Bhava, the attitude of a servant towards his Master

 

3. Sakhya Bhava, the attitude of a friend towards a Friend

 

4. Vatsalya Bhava, the attitude of a parent towards a Child

 

5. Madhura Bhava, the attitude of a lover towards the Beloved.

 

The idea behind this classification is to help the spiritual

aspirant

intensify his relationship with God according to his own inner

nature.

This is a natural path to God-realization. Gopaler-ma attained her

vision of God through the practice of Vatsalya Bhava, the attitude

of a

mother towards her child.

 

Aghoremani Devi was born of a Brahmin family about the year 1822 at

Kamarhati, a northern suburb of Calcutta. Following the social

custom of

child marriage, she was married at the age of nine. Her wedding was

the

first and last time she saw her husband, for he died before the

marriage was consummated, leaving her a widow of fourteen years of

age.

However, she was initiated into spiritual life by her husband's

family guru

and, with the child Krishna as her Chosen Deity, she was given the

'Gopala Mantram'. Since a Hindu Brahmin widow does not remarry, the

love and

energy that Aghoremani would have given her husband and children

were

diverted towards her beloved Gopala. It was Divine Providence that

her

one-pointed devotion was to make her a saint instead of a faithful

housewife.

 

After the death of her parents she went to live at the temple garden

of

Govinda Datta at Kamarhati, where her brother was the priest of the

Radha-Krishna temple. It was a large estate, located on the bank of

the

Ganga (Ganges river). Govinda's widow, the owner and manager of the

temple, was a very pious woman who lived like a nun. She practised

severe

austerities, such as sleeping on the floor, bathing three times and

eating one meal a day, and observing religious vows, daily worship,

japam,

and meditation. She was looking for a companion, and through her

priest

she found Aghoremani, who had a similar nature and spiritual

inclination. Aghoremani was also very happy to have the opportunity

to live in a

solitary, holy place on the bank of the Ganga.

 

Aghoremani was short but well built, with a tawny complexion and a

face

that shone with the glow of purity. It is an ancient custom in India

for monastics and orthodox widows to shave their heads because they

do

not care for external beauty, and, following their example,

Aghoremani

shaved her head. In later years she donned the ochre cloth, the

traditional garb of the renunciant.

 

By selling her jewellery and husband's property Aghoremani received

about five hundred Rupees, which she invested in securities and left

in

her landlady's care. With the three or four Rupees a month interest

earned on this investment, she had to manage her living. Sometimes

the

landlady helped her, but from time to time Aghoremani was forced to

draw on

her capital.

 

Spiritual life is not a matter of show. The more hidden it is, the

stronger and more fruitful it becomes; the more it is expressed, the

weaker

and more superficial it becomes. For this reason mystics like to

remain

hidden. Aghoremani, like other mystics, was a person of few words,

and

she led a quiet, contemplative life in the temple garden of

Kamarhati.

 

Many years later Sister Nivedita described her surroundings:

 

"How beautiful was the Ganga, as the little boat crept on and on!

And

how beautiful seemed the long flight of steps rising out of the

water,

and leading up, through its lofty bathing-ghat, past the terraced

lawn,

to the cloister-like veranda on the right, where, in a little room,

built probably in the first place for some servant of the great

house at

its side, Gopaler-ma had lived and told her beads for many a year ?.

Her

own little room was absolutely without comfort. Her bed was of

stone,

and her floor of stone, and the piece of matting she offered her

guests

to sit on, had to be taken down from a shelf and unrolled. The

handful

of parched rice and sugar candy that formed her only store, and were

all that she could give in hospitality, were taken from an earthen

pot

that hung from the roof by a few cords. But the place was spotlessly

clean, washed constantly by Ganga-water of her own sturdy carrying.

And in

a niche near her hand lay an old copy of the Ramayana, and her great

horn

spectacles, and the little white bag containing her beads. On those

beads, Gopaler-ma had become a saint! Hour after hour, day after

day, for

how many years, had she sat day and night absorbed in them!"

 

The tiny room, where Gopaler-ma spent the greater portion of her

life,

was at the southwest corner of the building. It had three windows on

the southern side through which she could see the Ganga. Inside the

room

were large earthen pots containing rice, lentils, spices, and other

things, which she purchased in quantities to last for six months.

Fresh

vegetables were bought once a week at the local market. She kept her

few

articles of clothing in a tin trunk, and her cooking pots and pans

were

neatly stacked in one corner. Both her inner life and her outer life

were well organized. This is a sign of a yogi.

 

The scriptures say that the practices of an illumined soul are meant

for spiritual aspirants to emulate. Gopaler-ma's life, devoid of

comfort

and luxury, and filled with intense longing for Gopala, demonstrates

how essential austerity and concentration are to realization. Thus

it is

both important and helpful for seekers of God to know such details

as

the daily routine, behaviour, habits, and mode of life of an

illumined

soul.

 

Gopaler-ma arose at two o'clock in the morning, washed her face and

hands, and then started her japam (recitation of God's name or

mantra),

which continued until eight o'clock. Next, she cleaned the

Radha-Krishna

temple, washed the worship vessels, picked flowers, and made

garlands

and sandal paste. She was neat, clean, and meticulous. She would

bathe

twice a day, mornings in the Ganga and evenings in the pond. After

bathing in the Ganga, she meditated for some time under a vilwa tree

in the

temple garden. Next, she collected dry wood and leaves for her

cooking

fire. She usually cooked rice, dal, bitter squash, and potato. Her

food

offering to Baby Gopala was worth seeing. She would place a wooden

seat

on the floor for Gopala and offer cooked food on a banana

leaf-plate,

which she set before him. Afterwards she would partake of the prasad

and

then rest for a while. She practised japam again until evening, when

she would attend the vesper service of Radha-Krishna and listen to

devotional singing. Her supper was always very simple, usually

consisting of a few offered coconut balls and a little milk. Again

she would

start her japam, which continued until midnight. With rare

exception,

she followed this routine daily for over thirty years - from 1852 to

1883. Perhaps the only break of any consequence in her routine came

when

she went on a pilgrimage with her landlady to Gaya, Varanasi,

Allahabad,

Mathura, and Vrindaban.

 

Swami Ramakrishnananda mentioned an incident, which happened shortly

before Gopaler-ma met Sri Ramakrishna:

 

"One day she was cooking as usual, but the fire would not burn, the

wood was heavy with moisture, and there was an adverse wind which

blew the

smoke into her eyes. Finally when the bit of rice and curry was done

and she was about to pour it out on the leaf, the adverse wind blew

away

the leaf. Then she began to scold God for making everything so bad

for

Gopala. As she was talking, a little boy brought back the leaf, held

it

out flat on the ground until she had put the food on it and then

disappeared. She began to feed her Gopala, but suddenly she began to

ask

herself who that little boy was and she realized that it was Gopala

himself. From that moment she became mad. All day and night she kept

crying,

'Where is my Gopala? Where is my Gopala?' She could not sleep or

eat.

Only at night would she prepare a little food for Gopala, and

everyone

thought she had really become mad."

 

By the 1880s Sri Ramakrishna's name had begun to spread, and it was

in

the fall of 1884 that Gopaler-ma first went to Dakshineshwar, along

with her landlady and another woman, to seek an audience with the

holy

man. As Kamarhati and Dakshineshwar are both on the Ganga, they went

the

three miles by boat. Sri Ramakrishna received them cordially, gave

them

some advice on devotion, and sang a few songs. He asked them to come

again, and graciously, in turn, the landlady invited Sri Ramakrishna

to

visit her temple garden at Kamarhati. He accepted the invitation.

 

Only a jeweller understands the value of a jewel. Sri Ramakrishna

recognized the spiritual magnitude of both Gopaler-ma and the

landlady, and

praising them in his sweet manner, he said: 'Ah! What a beautiful

expression on their faces! They are floating in the ocean of bliss

and

devotion. Their eyes are soaked with divine love'.

 

On another occasion Sri Ramakrishna commented about Gopaler-ma,

'During

Krishna's incarnation she was a fruit-seller of Vrindaban, and she

would feed Gopala the sweet fruits'.

 

After her first visit Gopaler-ma felt an irresistible attraction for

Sri Ramakrishna, and she noticed a change in her life. Off and on

she

would think about Sri Ramakrishna, 'He is a nice man and a real

devotee'.

She decided to see him again.

 

A few days later, while she was practising japam, her desire to see

him

(Sri Ramakrishna) was

 

so intense that she immediately left for Dakshineshwar by herself.

It

is an ancient custom that one should not visit God or a holy person

empty-handed, so on her way she bought two pennies worth of stale

sweets,

which was all that she could afford. She was confident that he would

not

eat them, since so many people brought better offerings every day.

But

no sooner had she arrived at Dakshineshwar than Sri Ramakrishna

said:

'Oh, you have come! Give me what you have brought for me'.

 

She was embarrassed, but she reluctantly handed over the stale

sweets

to him. Like a hungry boy he started to eat them with great relish

and

said to her: 'Why do you spend money for sweets? Prepare some sweet

coconut balls, and when you visit this place bring one or two of

them with

you. Or you may bring a little of the ordinary dishes that you cook

yourself. I want to eat your cooking."

 

That day Sri Ramakrishna did not talk about God or religion. He only

enquired about this food or that food. As Gopaler-ma later related:

 

"I thought, 'what a strange monk. He talks only about food. I am a

poor

widow. Where shall I get so many delicacies for him? Enough! I shall

not come back again.' But as soon I crossed the gate of

Dakshineshwar

garden, I felt he was, as it were, pulling me back. I could not

proceed

further. I had a hard time persuading the mind, and at last I

returned to

Kamarhati."

 

A few days later she came to Dakshineshwar on foot, carrying some

ordinary curry that she had cooked for Sri Ramakrishna. He relished

it and

said: "What a delicacy! It is like nectar". Tears rolled down

Gopaler-ma's cheeks. She thought the Master appreciated her humble

offering only

because she was poor.

 

During the next three or four months Gopaler-ma visited

Dakshineshwar

several times, always carrying some plain food for the Master.

Invariably he asked her to bring some new food on her next visit.

Sometimes she

would think in disgust: 'O Gopala, is this the outcome of my prayer?

You have brought me to a holy man who only asks for food. I shall

not

come back again'.

 

But as soon as she returned to Kamarhati, she would again feel that

irresistible attraction, and her mind would long to see the Master.

 

At the invitation of Govinda Datta's widow, Sri Ramakrishna went to

visit the temple garden of Kamarhati. He attended the worship

service of

Radha-Krishna and sang many devotional songs. The landlady and

others

there were very much impressed, seeing the Master's ecstasy during

the

kirtan (singing the glory of God). After taking some prasad he

returned

to Dakshineshwar.

 

It was the spring of 1885. One morning at three o'clock Gopaler-ma,

as

usual, started to practise her japam. After finishing the japam she

began pranayama and was about to offer the result of the japam to

her

Chosen Deity when she noticed that Sri Ramakrishna was seated at her

left

with his right fist clenched. Startled, she wondered: 'What is this?

How

did he come here at this odd hour?'

 

As she later described: "I looked at him in amazement and thought,

'How

did he come here? Meanwhile Gopala (as she called Sri Ramakrishna)

kept

on smiling sweetly. As I took courage and grasped his left hand, Sri

Ramakrishna's form disappeared and in place of it appeared the real

Gopala- a big child of ten months old. His beauty and look beggar

description! He crawled towards me and, raising one hand, said:

'Mother give

butter'. This overwhelming experience bewildered me. I cried out so

loudly

that if there had been men around they would have assembled there.

With

tearful eyes I said, 'My son, I am a poor, helpless widow. What

shall I

feed you? Where shall I get butter and cream, my child?' But Gopala

did

not listen to me. 'Give me something to eat', he kept on saying.

What

could I do? Sobbing, I got up and brought some dry coconut balls

from

the hanging basket. Placing them in his hand, I said, 'Gopala, my

darling, I offer you this wretched thing, but don't give me such a

poor thing

in return'.

 

I could not perform japam at all that day. Gopala sat on my lap,

snatched away my rosary, jumped on my shoulders, and moved around

the room.

At daybreak I rushed to Dakshineshwar like a crazy woman. Gopala

also

accompanied me, resting his head on my shoulder. I distinctly saw

Gopala's two tiny, rosy feet hanging over my bosom."

 

When Gopaler-ma arrived at Dakshineshwar, a woman devotee was

present.

Her words vividly describe that meeting with the Master:

 

"I was then cleaning the Master's room. It was seven or half past

seven

in the morning. In the meantime I heard somebody calling, 'Gopala.

Gopala' from outside. The voice was familiar to me. I looked and it

was

Gopaler-ma. She entered through the eastern door like an intoxicated

person, with dishevelled hair, staring eyes, and the end of her

cloth

trailing on the ground. She was completely oblivious of her

surroundings. Sri

Ramakrishna was then seated on his small cot.

 

I was dumbfounded seeing Gopaler-ma in that condition. The Master,

in

the meantime, entered into an ecstatic mood. Gopaler-ma sat beside

him

and he, like a child, sat on her lap. Tears were flowing profusely

from

her eyes. She fed the Master with cream, butter, and sweets that she

had brought with her. I was astounded, for never before had I seen

the

Master touching a woman in a state of ecstasy?. After sometime the

Master

regained his normal consciousness and went back to his cot. But

Gopaler-ma could not control her exuberant emotion. In a rapturous

mood she

began to dance around the room, repeating, 'Brahma is dancing and

Vishnu

is dancing'. Watching her ecstasy the Master said to me with a

smile,

'Look, she is engulfed in bliss. Her mind is now in the abode of

Gopala'."

 

Gopaler-ma's ecstasy was boundless. Her vision, conversation, and

play

with her beloved Gopala continued: 'Here is Gopala in my arms? Now

he

enters into you (pointing to Sri Ramakrishna)? There, he comes out

again? Come, my child, come to your wretched mother'. Thus she

became

convinced that Sri Ramakrishna was none other than her Gopala.

 

Only a mystic understands the language and behaviour of another

mystic.

Sri Ramakrishna was happy to see her ecstasy, but then, in order to

calm her, he began to stroke her chest and feed her with delicacies.

Even

while eating, Gopaler-ma said in an ecstatic mood: 'Gopala, my

darling,

your wretched mother has led a life of dire poverty. She had to make

her living by spinning and selling sacred thread. Is that why you

are

taking special care of her today?' From this time on Aghoremani Devi

was

known as Gopaler-ma.

 

Gopaler-ma stayed the whole day at Dakshineshwar, and then, before

evening, Sri Ramakrishna sent her back to Kamarhati. The same baby

Gopala

went with her, nestled in her arms. When she reached her room, she

started to tell her beads as before, but it became impossible. Her

Chosen

Deity, for whom she had practised japam and meditation all her life,

was

now pestering her, demanding this and that, as he played in front of

her. When she went to bed, Gopala was by her side. She had a hard

bed

without a pillow and he began to grumble. At last she cradled his

head on

her left arm and said: 'My child, sleep tonight in this way.

Tomorrow I

shall go to Calcutta and ask the daughter of the landlady to make a

soft pillow for you'.

 

The next morning she went to the garden to collect dry wood for

cooking. Gopala also accompanied her and helped her. Then, as she

was cooking,

the naughty child began to play tricks on her. She tried to control

him, sometimes with sweet words, and sometimes through scolding.

 

Modern man. Inclined to be sceptical and scientific, has great

difficulty in accepting as real such experiences as Gopaler-ma's.

However, from

the traditional Hindu point of view, there are much finer states of

consciousness than the one in which we experience the sense world,

and

this has been substantiated again and again by the experiences of

saints

and seers. When the mind is pure and saturated with Spirit, such

high

states of consciousness are possible. Gopaler-ma meditated on her

beloved

Gopala so much that her mind became very pure. As a result, she

entered

the super-conscious realm, and wherever her eyes fell, she saw

Gopala.

In this realm of mystical experience, verbal expression, mental

cognition, and intellectual reasoning do not function. The only

consciousness

is the direct consciousness of God.

 

A few days later Gopaler-ma went to Dakshineshwar to visit the

Master.

After greeting him she went to the nahabat, or concert room, where

Sri

Ramakrishna's spiritual consort, known as Holy Mother, lived. It was

Gopaler-ma's habit to practise japam whenever she had time and

opportunity. While she was doing japam in the concert room, Sri

Ramakrishna came

there and said: 'Why do you practise so much japam now? You have

plenty

of visions!'

 

Gopaler-ma replied: 'Shall I not practise japam any more? Have I

attained everything?'

 

'Yes, you have attained everything'.

 

'Everything?'

 

'Yes, everything'.

 

'What do you say? Have I really accomplished everything?'

 

'Yes. You have. It is no longer necessary for you to practise japam

and

austerity for yourself, but if you wish, you may continue those

disciplines (pointing to himself) for the welfare of this body.'

 

Thus assured by Sri Ramakrishna three times, she said: 'All right.

Whatever I do henceforth will be for you.'

 

Her visions and play with Gopala continued for two months. During

this

time she was always in an ecstatic mood. She had to force herself to

continue her daily routine of bathing, cooking, eating, japam, and

meditation. Gradually her divine intoxication subsided; yet she

continued to

have several visions of Gopala a day. Since she had become convinced

that Sri Ramakrishna and Gopala were one and the same, she had fewer

visions of the form of Gopala and more of Sri Ramakrishna while

meditating,

with the voice of Gopala instructing her through him. She went to

Sri

Ramakrishna one day and said to him, crying: 'Gopala, what have you

done

to me? Did I do anything wrong? Why do I not see you in the form of

Gopala as before?'

 

Sri Ramakrishna consoled her, saying: 'In this Kali yuga if one has

visions continuously, one's body does not last long. It survives

only

twenty-one days and then drops off like a dry leaf.'

 

Since Gopaler-ma had experienced the bliss of constant divine

inebriation, it was difficult for her to live without it. She had no

interest in

mundane things. Just a worldly person is always restless for worldly

objects, in the same way her heart was restless for the continuous

vision

of Gopala. She felt a pain in her chest and thought it was due to

the

pressure of gas. But Sri Ramakrishna told her: 'It is not gas. It is

caused by your spiritual energy. How will you pass your time if it

goes

away? Let it be with you. When you feel too much pain, please eat

something'.

 

Sri Ramakrishna used to receive gifts of sweets, and rock candy from

various people, but he could not eat all of it. There were some

business

people who would offer gifts to him believing that such offerings to

a

holy man would bring them prosperity. This type of food invariably

contaminates the mind of the eater. Consequently, the only devotees

Sri

Ramakrishna would give these things to were Swami Vivekananda and

Gopaler-ma. He knew that the minds of these two great souls were in

such a high

realm that they could never be affected by eating such food.

 

One day Gopaler-ma came to see the Master with some women devotees.

Pointing to her, he said to those present: 'Ah, there is nothing

inside

this body but God. He fills it through and through'. Then the Master

fed

Gopaler-ma with various delicacies and gave her some food that he

had

received from several Calcutta business people. At this, Gopaler-ma

said, 'Why are you so fond of feeding me?'

 

Sri Ramakrishna replied: 'You have also fed me with so many things

in

the past'.

 

'In the past? When?' she asked.

 

'In your previous life,' he said.

 

During the car festival of Lord Jagannath in 1885, Sri Ramakrishna

went

to Balaram Basu's house in Calcutta. Balaram had invited many

devotees

for the celebration. While he was there the Master spoke highly of

the

God-intoxicated state and visions of Gopaler-ma, and at his behest,

Balaram sent a man to bring her. Just before her arrival the Master

was

talking to the devotees when suddenly he went into ecstasy. His body

assumed the pose of Gopala, crawling on both knees, one hand resting

on the

ground, the other raised, and the face turned up as if he were

expecting someone. Gopaler-ma arrived then and found Sri Ramakrishna

in the

posture of her Chosen Deity. The devotees were amazed, seeing that

divine

sight.

 

'Truly speaking, I don't care for this stiff posture,' she said. 'My

Gopala should laugh and play, walk and run. But what is this? He has

become stiff like a log. I don't like to see this sort of Gopala!'

 

It was a striking feature in Sri Ramakrishna's life that whenever

any

mood would come over him he would be fully identified with it. Even

in

his last years, when he would sing, dance, or make gestures like a

woman

or a child, people were amazed, seeing their precision and

spontaneity.

His voice was sweet and melodious, and his movements were natural,

simple, and beautiful. There was not an iota of insincerity or

display in

his behaviour and action.

 

Sri Ramakrishna stayed in Calcutta for a few days and then left for

Dakshineshwar by boat. Some of the devotees, including Gopaler-ma,

accompanied him. Balaram's family had lovingly given Gopaler-ma some

necessary

items of clothing and utensils in a bundle, which she was carrying

on

the boat. The Master came to know from other devotees what was in

the

bundle. Immediately he became grave, and without directly referring

to

the items, he began to speak about renunciation. He said: 'Only a

man of

renunciation realizes God. The devotee who is simply satisfied with

another man's hospitality and returns empty-handed, sits very close

to

God.' He did not say a single word to her, but he kept looking at

her

bundle. Gopaler-ma understood.

 

The Master always watched over his devotees so that they might not

deviate from the path of non-attachment. He could be as soft as a

flower,

and again as strong as a thunderbolt. His superhuman love conquered

the

hearts of the devotees; so a little indifference from him would give

them unbearable pain. Gopaler-ma was stung with remorse and thought

of

throwing the bundle away. But she kept it, and when she reached

Dakshineshwar she related everything to Holy Mother. She was ready

to give all

the items away, but Holy Mother stopped her and said: 'Let the

Master

say what he wants. There is no one to give you gifts, and moreover,

you

have been given some things which you need.' Nevertheless Gopaler-ma

gave some of the things away. Then she cooked some curries for the

Master

and carried the tray of food to him. Seeing her repentance, he

behaved

with her in his usual manner. She returned to Kamarhati feeling much

relieved.

 

After God-realization the illumined soul is carried along by the

momentum of his past karma, but he ceases to be affected by it. He

behaves

like a witness, completely unattached to the world. He continues his

daily routine, and he helps other people towards realization.

Gopaler-ma

also followed her old routine. But from time to time she would visit

the

Master, and whatever visions she had during meditation she would

relate

to him. Once he said to her, 'One should not disclose one's visions

to

others, because it stops further visions.'

 

One day, however, Gopaler-ma and Swami Vivekananda (then called

Narendranath) chanced to be present at Dakshineshwar at the same

time.

Gopaler-ma was uneducated, unsophisticated, simple, and a devout

worshipper of

God with form; Narendranath, on the other hand, was learned,

sophisticated, intelligent, and a staunch believer in the formless

God. As a

member of the Brahmo Samaj, he looked down on worship of God with

form. Sri

Ramakrishna had a tremendous sense of humour, so he engaged these

two

devotees, with their opposing points of view, in a discussion by

requesting Gopaler-ma to relate her visions to Narendranath.

 

'But will there not be harm in telling them?' she asked. Assured by

him

that it would be all right, she related all her visions in detail to

Narendranath with overwhelming joy and tears.

 

Devotion is contagious. Narendranath, in spite of his manly exterior

and faith in rationalism, could not control his tears. His heart was

filled with love and religious fervour. The old lady now and then

interrupted her story to say: 'my son, you are learned and

intelligent, and I am

a poor, illiterate widow. I don't understand anything. Please tell

me,

are these visions true?'

 

'Yes, Mother, whatever you have seen is all true,' Narendranath

assured

her.

 

On another day Gopaler-ma invited Sri Ramakrishna for lunch at

Kamarhati. This time the Master went by boat with Rakhal, a young

disciple who

later became Swami Brahmananda. She received them cordially, and

after

they had enjoyed the delicacies she had cooked for them, they went

to a

room upstairs, which had been arranged for their rest. Rakhal fell

asleep immediately, but the Master was wide-awake. Presently a foul

odour

permeated the room, and he saw two hideous looking ghosts with

skeletal-like forms. They said to him humbly: 'Why are you here?

Please go away

from this place. Seeing you, we are in unbearable pain.'

 

The Divine presence was no doubt the cause of their pain, either

because it reminded them of their own pitiable condition, or because

evil

spirits cannot bear that Presence.

 

Sri Ramakrishna immediately arose and gathered up his small spice

bag

and towel. In the mean time Rakhal woke up and asked, 'Master, where

are

you going?'

 

'I shall tell you later,' said Sri Ramakrishna. They both went

downstairs to Gopaler-ma, saying good-bye to her, and left on the

boat. The

Master then told the whole story to Rakhal, explaining that he did

not say

anything to Gopaler-ma because she was staying there alone. At any

rate, she knew that ghosts frequented the area, and Sri Ramakrishna

knew

that her spirituality protected her from their presence.

 

'One who has steadfast devotion to truthfulness realizes the God of

Truth,' said Sri Ramakrishna. His own life was based on truth, and

whatever he said invariably came true. One day Gopaler-ma cooked for

the

Master at Dakshineshwar. When he found that the rice was not

properly

boiled, he indignantly said: 'Can I eat this rice? I shall not take

rice out

of her hand anymore.' People thought that the Master had only warned

her to be careful in the future. But shortly afterwards it so

happened

that cancer developed in his throat, and from then on he could only

eat

thin porridge and liquids.

 

As the illness grew worse, Sri Ramakrishna was moved from

Dakshineshwar

to Calcutta, and then to Cossipore (a northern suburb of Calcutta)

for

treatment. Gopaler-ma now and then would come to serve him. One day

the

Master expressed a desire to eat a special kind of thick milk

pudding.

Yogindra, a young disciple, was sent to Calcutta to buy the pudding

from the market. On the way, however, he stopped at the house of

Balaram

Basu, and when the women devotees heard about his errand, they asked

him

to wait and let them cook it. They meant well, reasoning that the

homemade food would be of a better quality than the market food.

Yogindra

agreed. But when he returned with the pudding and told the Master

the

reason for his delay, the Master scolded him: 'I wanted to eat the

market

pudding, and you were told to buy it. Why did you go to the

devotee's

house and give them trouble over it? Besides, this pudding is very

rich

and hard to digest. I will not eat it.'

 

Indeed, he did not touch it, but he asked Holy Mother to give the

pudding to Gopaler-ma. As he explained: 'This is given by the

devotees.

Gopala dwells in her heart. Her eating it will be the same as my

eating

it.'

 

After the passing away of Sri Ramakrishna, Gopaler-ma was

grief-stricken and for a long time lived in seclusion. After a

while, however,

repeated visions of the Master consoled her bereaved heart. Once she

went to

attend the Car Festival of Jagannath in Mahesh, on the other side of

the Ganga. There she had the cosmic vision of the Lord. She saw her

beloved Gopala not only in the image of Jagannath in the chariot,

but also

in the pilgrims who were pulling the chariot. 'I was then not

myself,'

she said. 'I danced and laughed and created a commotion there.'

 

Occasionally she would visit Sri Ramakrishna's monastic disciples at

the Baranagore monastery. At their request she would cook a couple

of

dishes and offer them to the Master.

 

The human mind is a mysterious phenomenon. In general, people are

not

happy because their minds are always craving worldly comforts and

luxuries. The mind becomes impure when it is involved with mundane

things,

and it becomes pure when it becomes desireless. The impure mind

suffers,

and the pure mind enjoys bliss. It is very difficult to give the

mind

to God if it is preoccupied with many worldly possessions.

Gopaler-ma's

mind, however, was always God-centred. Just as the needle of the

compass always points to the north, so also her mind was always

directed

towards God. Mercilessly she would drive away all distracting

thoughts.

Swami Ramakrishnananda related the following incident:

 

"One day, after Sri Ramakrishna had passed away, some of his

disciples

went to see her and found her room full of mosquitoes and other

troublesome creatures. Although she did not appear to mind them and

kept on

repeating the Name of the Lord, it distressed them to see her in

such

discomfort, so the next day one of the disciples brought her a

mosquito

curtain. That night when she sat down to repeat the Name, she found

her

mind constantly wandering to the curtain, thinking whether a

cockroach

or a rat might not be eating off a corner of it. Seeing this she

said:

'What! This wretched curtain thus to take my mind away from my

Gopala!'

And without ado she made it up into a bundle and sat down again to

her

devotions with the mosquitoes all about her.

 

The next morning we were just getting up at the Math when Gopaler-ma

appeared. She had walked all the way (at least five miles) and must

have

started at three o'clock. She laid the bundle down.

 

'What is it?' someone asked.

 

'It is the curtain you gave me yesterday. It takes my mind away from

God. I don't want it,' was her answer; and nothing could persuade

her to

take it back.

 

One day in 1887 Gopaler-ma came to Balaram's house in Calcutta. A

number of devotees were also there who were aware of her high

spiritual

experiences, and they began to ask her some questions. She said to

them:

'Look, I am an old, illiterate woman. What do I know about the

scriptures? Why don't you ask Sharat, Yogin, and Tarak?'

 

But they persisted, so finally she said: 'Wait, let me ask Gopala. O

Gopala, I don't understand what they are talking about. Why don't

you

answer their questions? Hello, Gopala says this?'

 

In this way Gopaler-ma answered the abstruse questions of the

devotees.

They were amazed. That remarkable question and answer session ended

abruptly, however, when Gopaler-ma suddenly said: 'O Gopala, why are

you

going away? Will you not answer their questions anymore?' but Gopala

had

left.

 

In 1897 Swami Vivekananda returned to India from his first visit to

the

West. Later he sent three of his Western disciples, Sister Nivedita,

Mrs. Ole Bull, and Miss Josephine MacLeod, to Kamarhati to meet

Gopaler-ma. She received them cordially and kissed them. As she had

no other

furniture in her room, they sat on her bed. She then served them

some

puffed rice and sweet coconut balls and shared some of her spiritual

experiences with them. When they returned to Calcutta, Swami

Vivekananda

said: 'Ah! This is the old India that you have seen, the India of

prayers

and tears, of vigils and fasts, that is passing away.'

 

Once two women devotees came to Swami Vivekananda at Balaram's house

requesting initiation, but he sent them to Gopaler-ma. She was

reluctant,

however, and said to Swamijee: 'My son, what do I know about

initiation? I am a poor widow.'

 

Swamijee replied with a smile: 'Are you an ordinary person? You have

attained perfection through japam. If you cannot give initiation

then who

can? Let me tell you, why don't you give your own Ishtha mantram to

them? It will serve their purpose. Moreover, what will you do with

your

mantram anymore?'

 

Gopaler-ma initiated the women but was unwilling to accept any gift

or

offering from them. When she was persuaded, she followed the custom

and

accepted two Rupees from them so that the disciples might not be

hurt.

She had no greed or desire for worldly objects. Her simple

instruction

was:

 

'Listen, offer your body and mind to God. Initiation is not an

insignificant thing. Do not leave your seat without repeating ten

thousand

japam in each sitting. While practising spiritual discipline

disconnect

yourself from the thoughts of the world. Start your japam at 3

o'clock in

the morning so that no body is aware of it; and again practise in

the

evening.'

 

She had immense love for the disciples of Sri Ramakrishna. When the

news of Swami Vivekananda's passing away reached Kamarhati, she was

in her

room. She cried out in pain, 'Ah, Naren is gone?' She felt dizzy,

saw

darkness all around and fell to the floor, fracturing her right

elbow.

 

Gopaler-ma was then living there by herself, although the place was

known for being haunted. During the time that the landlady lived

there, a

guard looked after the place, but since no one was there now to help

her, Swami Saradananda appointed a gardener and sent a woman to take

care

of her broken arm. Seeing the attendant, Gopaler-ma said: 'Why have

you

come here? You will have to face a lot of hardship. My Gopala takes

care of me. Where will you sleep? You must find a room. They are all

under

lock and key, so you will have to ask the priest to open one for

you.

Let me tell you frankly at the outset that there are some evil

spirits

around. Whenever you hear any strange noise, repeat your mantram

wholeheartedly.'

 

At night the attendant slept opposite Gopaler-ma's room, and she

heard

the sound of heavy, hurried footsteps coming from the roof and a

rapping noise through the window. It was quite a test for her.

 

Gopaler-ma had to face many such ordeals during her long stay in the

garden house by herself. She never felt lonely, however, for her

beloved

Gopala was with her day and night. Moreover, she did not care for a

companion because it might interfere with her visions. As she had

very

little body-consciousness, she was reluctant to take personal

service from

others. Independence is happiness and dependence is misery. She

practised this Vedantic teaching in her life.

 

In 1903 Gopaler-ma became seriously ill. Swami Brahmananda then sent

one of his young disciples to nurse her. The boy brought fruits and

vegetables for her and slept in the corner of her room. He awoke

very early

in the morning, however, when he heard Gopaler-ma talking with

someone:

'Wait, wait! Even the birds have not yet sung. Let the morning come,

my

sweet darling, and I shall take you for a bath in the Ganga.'

 

Later the young disciple said: 'No one else lives in your room. With

whom were you talking this morning?'

 

'Don't you know that Gopala lives with me? I was trying to control

his

naughtiness,' she replied.

 

As her health grew worse, the disciples of Sri Ramakrishna arranged

for

her to be moved to Balaram's house in Calcutta. But Sister Nivedita

expressed a desire to serve this saintly woman, so Gopaler-ma was

taken to

her residence. A cook was appointed, and Kusum, one of Gopaler-ma's

disciples, attended to her personal needs. In return Gopaler-ma gave

Nivedita maternal affection and support. Her presence in the house

created

an atmosphere of spiritual serenity.

 

'I feel thrilled', Nivedita wrote in a letter at that time, 'when I

am

with Gopaler-ma. The words of Saint Elizabeth sound in my ears,

"What

is this to me that the Mother of my Lord should visit me?" For I

believe

that in Gopaler-ma is sainthood as great as that of a paramahansa -

a

soul fully free. I feel that if I can only worship her enough,

blessings

will descend on all whom I love, through her. Could more be said?'

 

To see God in everything is the culmination of Vedantic experience.

Gopaler-ma had a pet cat in whom she used to see Gopala. One day it

was

lying peacefully on Nivedita's lap when Kusum came and pushed it

away.

Immediately Gopaler-ma cried out: 'What have you done? What have you

done? Gopala is going away - he is gone.'

 

Those who carry the Lord in their hearts always enjoy festivity.

They

never get bored or pass a single dull moment. The body of Gopaler-ma

was

deteriorating day by day, but her mind was floating in bliss. When

Holy

Mother went to see her, Gopaler-ma sighed: 'Gopala, you have come.

Look, you have sat on my lap all these days; now you take me on your

lap.'

Holy Mother took Gopaler-ma's head on her lap and caressed her

affectionately.

 

The end came on July 8, 1906. Gopaler-ma was carried to the Ganga,

where she breathed her last at dawn, touching the holy water of the

river.

A monk bent over her and whispered in her ear the words that the

Hindu

loves to hear in his last hour: 'Om Ganga Narayana! Om Ganga

Narayana

Brahma!'

 

Thus the curtain fell on the divine drama of Gopaler-ma. The monks

went

to her room and found her two most precious possessions, the rosary,

which had passed through her fingers millions and millions of times,

and

a picture of Sri Ramakrishna, who had appeared before her as Gopala.

Nivedita took the rosary, and the picture was sent to Belur Math,

where

it still rests on the altar of Holy Mother's temple.

 

Once being asked for some advice from a disciple, Gopaler-ma said:

'Ask

advice from Gopala. He is within you. No one can give better advice

than he. This is the truth. Cry with a longing heart and you will

reach

Him.'

 

http://www.hinduism.co.za/japa.htm#Japa