To Brian on Kali, Durga and Thought Bots

[Guest guest]

Brian wrote:

Kali's face shows while she sneaks up on you, so you can't see her,

she'sdark, she hides in the darkness of the shadows you make within

your mind.She is subconsciousness, a dark and quiet intuition. She's

the burningthat makes you want to see the truth, even if you don't

know why or thatyou're even hiding from the truth.Once Kali arrives

at something she wishes you to see (something you haveasked to see),

she turns, showing another face and Durga's light shinesthrough the

darkness illuminating the detrimental mechanism within theshadow of

your mind...

Dear Brian ~ I really liked all that you wrote about this, especially

all the "Mind bots." Somehow, using that language really reached me

in a place I could understand and make sense of the process. I've

really got some bots racing around in my mind regarding the way my

mother and stepfather have treated me. I realize I am not letting go,

and I am very glad you addressed that in what you said. I will save it

to read again. Jai Kali/Durga Ma ~ Linda

[Guest guest]

OM NAMAH SIVAYA

 

i would second that Linda! i very much enjoyed Brian's post. when i

read it i couldn't help think that what he wrote about must be much

of what people mean when they talk about being in the Now. i

specially liked the part about staring at our thoughts and not

reacting to them or giving them any energy. i feel like this has

been much of the value of my mantra. i have realized over time, my

mantra is an invaluable mechanism, not just as the name of God(as if

that isn't enough!), but also as a tool for separating me from my

thoughts. because i am so focused on repeating the mantra, over

time it has allowed me to just witness my thoughts and not react to

them. as much as i have in the past i should say. and as Brian said

not reacting deflates and drains them of energy. thanks for the post.

 

JAI MA

 

, nierika@a... wrote:

>

> Brian wrote:

>

> Kali's face shows while she sneaks up on you, so you can't see

her, she's

> dark, she hides in the darkness of the shadows you make within

your mind.

> She is subconsciousness, a dark and quiet intuition. She's the

burning

> that makes you want to see the truth, even if you don't know why

or that

> you're even hiding from the truth.

>

> Once Kali arrives at something she wishes you to see (something

you have

> asked to see), she turns, showing another face and Durga's light

shines

> through the darkness illuminating the detrimental mechanism

within the

> shadow of your mind...

> Dear Brian ~ I really liked all that you wrote about this,

especially all

> the "Mind bots." Somehow, using that language really reached me in

a place I

> could understand and make sense of the process. I've really got

some bots

> racing around in my mind regarding the way my mother and

stepfather have treated

> me. I realize I am not letting go, and I am very glad you

addressed that in

> what you said. I will save it to read again. Jai Kali/Durga Ma ~

Linda

>

[Guest guest]

Linda,

 

I have found within myself that I hold on to many many unhealthy thoughts

and feelings (feelings are often the end result of a demon thought bot

rampage). Most are associated with pain from my childhood. Things that

happened that I could not only not control, but even my reactions

themselves were not within my control. As children we are at the mercy of

our genetics, astrology, and the coping bots of our parents.

 

Its often not possible to see how we harm ourselves by feeding these dark

bots and often we simply don't know that we're holding onto anything from

our past. We even deny it. "My childhood was fine! My parents were so much

better than many. Well by Dad did have an anger issue but he never took it

out on me..." Etc. Its a form of self coddling, I feel.

 

Others hang on to the pain, wearing it like a banner. "I WAS ABUSED!" Self

aggrandizement shouts. "AND YET I SURVIVED!!!"

 

Opposite reactions to the same samskara.

 

When I can't see my samskaras and yet my intuition or my inner reaction

tells me they are there, then there is only one recourse: don't react to

the reaction and pray as hard as possible to Maa Durga to come and shed

her light on it. It runs like a roach when she lights it up, but if we

truly wish to face that bot, then there is no where for it to run.

 

I've noticed that when I get spiritually lazy, I get sick. Illness is a

way that Maa interacts with me. She doesn't interact this way with

everyone, just some of the more lucky ones.

 

Make no mistake, it is possible to become ill through karma or astrology

but many illnesses are big giant fingers that point inward saying,

"there's a bot in there running amuck!"

 

I have found that not talking or complaining about my illness is the same

as not reacting to my reactions. It gets Kali's attention, and she and her

sisters go on a hunting party. Its my way of telling Her that I want her

to expose the cause of the illness.

 

Very often, the answer comes immediately, "Its karma, accept it with

dignity there is nothing I can do for you." Diabetes was such a karma.

 

But sometimes there is just silence, which means that she's on the hunt

and doesn't want to blow Her cover. I just wait because I know she'll find

it and expose it and when she does I need to be prepared with zero

reaction, total Self Love and Self Acceptance. There will be pain, but its

the healing sort of pain, not the self feeding self wounding pain that I'm

used to. Its a much deeper and much more earthly pain. And at the same

time its liberating.

 

There is one very excelent way to build energy toward liberation from all

pain and that's to take up a mantram. OM AIM HRIM KLIM CHAMUNDAYE is my

favorite, it has been for years. If we repeat a mantram with the intent of

adding energy to the Goddess on Her quest for our liberation, then we

provide fuel directly to Her cause for our salvation. The more we say it,

the more force, love, and tonal vibration we add to it, the more energy

She can use to expose the parts of our minds we are hiding from.

 

Many people have huge reserves of spiritual energy because they don't

utilize it. I have seen such people go from mere mortals to the depths of

full wizardry in a matter of months. I myself had a huge wearhouse which

activated when I was in highschool and began to open my mind slowly over

time. Being a Taurus it had to go slowly, heh.

 

A mantra can activate that store of energy.

 

Any mantram will do as long as the intention is there. One of the most

powerful, which I've discussed before, is staring into a mirror, gazing

deeply into your own eyes and repeating, "I Love You. I Love You. I Love

You."

 

I cry just thinking about it. That's how powerful it is.

 

The nice thing to know about the whole process of opening, or blooming as

Swamiji has described it to me is that no matter what it will happen if

you put energy toward it. It may take days, months or lifetimes, but it

will happen. Any effort you put in now counts for more than at any other

time in history because of the amount of mucky Maya that's deluding our

populations. In otherwords, any desire for self realization at this time

is very powerful because Maa understands how hard it is to even know she

exists at this time.

 

There are very few who offer a true understanding of God, and therefore we

are very unlikely to meet one who does. To have met Maa and Swamiji, and

the people in this group is not only a priviledge, but it makes us some of

the luckiest people on the planet, because these are people who know God

truly and desire Her honestly and devoutly.

 

Maa knows we desire Her truly when we recognize the light within a group

of true devotees and try to emulate their behavior. It means a lot to her

and she repays us with Her Light of True Understanding.

 

My advice to you and anyone is to repeat a mantram. Its what I do when I

feel the asuras are causing reactions and when I feel the pain of truth in

my mind's eye.

 

Love,

 

Brian