To Sadumaa about my journey to Shree Maa and Swamiji (not sure the topic)

[Guest guest]

sadumaa wrote:

Each according to their capacities. Thank you, but this is my

sankalpafor a year, I am clear about that. For others with other

talents itwill be different. The biggest challenge for me is

consistency. Thisis my sadhana lesson. The amount was not the point.

The doingsomething consistently is. Please do not miss the joy and

play in mypost. I am not worried about it. It is a total blessing.

Dear sadumaa ~ I read your post with great interest, and I was going

to respond, but I am about three digests behind at the moment (I have

been sicker again this past week). And then I read the response to

which you refer. And you are right, clarity is clarity. First I will

respond to your sadhana. It is wonderful, and also inspires me. I

cannot give what you are giving, in terms of money, but I can give

something to enable Shree Maa and Swamiji to continue unhindered in

any way by money worries. I think for me it will be once a month, and

will be small. I am just a little bird and my resources are few; also

I am unable to work. But I completely understand your having this

knowledge to do this sadhana, and then carrying it out, doing

whatever you must do.

 

I have only said this to a few people, but now I will "come out" to

the group. I have talked about my comings and goings (and believe me,

when I see how many digests I am behind in, I want to head for the

hills again) and how I have felt magnetically drawn by Swamiji to

come back. And so I have come back, and so I am here, and so I will

be here, whether I can keep up or not, I will do my best.

 

A few weeks ago, something amazing happened to me. I fell in love. I

have heard people describe this, but I have never experienced it.

Though I have followed a guru for many years and loved Her very much,

I never had that magnetic pull. And I never fell in love. Perhaps it

is a honeymoon, and I know there is work ahead, some of it hard, some

of it easy, all of it blessed by the bhava of Shree Maa and Swami. How

did it happen? I don't know. Why do the trees and flowers blossom in

the spring? I have fallen completely in love with Maa and Swamiji. I

would do anything for them. I would even come and chop wood, though I

don't think I would get much done in that regard, but I would do it.

 

So then what? I realized with amazement, Maa and Swamiji are my gurus!

And then I realized, one doesn't just pick a guru and start following

Her or Him around ... I mean there are quite a few out here to pick

from. And actually, perhaps we do pick one and follow Her or Him

around, but that moment of clarity never occurs. I didn't really pick

Maa and Swamiji.

I went to see them because my sister suggested it. She is also the one

who led me to the previous guru. I experienced Maa; I experienced

Swamiji. I learned a bit about who they are and how they do things. I

really was profoundly touched by what I experienced in Colorado and

Issaqua.

 

Then I discovered this digest ... and I learned some more. I tried to

participate in group sankalpas; I couldn't keep up, so I got scared

and ran away; I was pulled back, as I mentioned above. And now I'm

so glad I saw them, that I had the wondrous chance in a million, like

winning the lottery, of deciding to go see them, not knowing it would

be their last tour for some time.

 

That miracle of recognition that some people describe and say they

felt: some just from seeing the guru's picture, or like my sister,

just from hearing the guru sing, or others by having the good fortune

to meet the guru. It wasn't instantaneous like that for me, yet now

that it has happened, there is the characteristic of feeling it was

always there, that connection. So when we feel we have found our

gurus, do our gurus accept being found?

 

Jai Maa , Jai Swamiji ~ Linda