tamas

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Hari Om Beloved Satsangha Members:

 

I confess: I have tamasic tendencies, too! Like Shadvi said, I

guess we all do. I set the alarm for 5:30 because my mind thinks

that is the earliest I can possibly get up. When the alarm rings I

am wide awake but there is a latent fear that keeps me under the

covers. Like some darkness in me that I am afraid to face. Months

ago someone here mentioned that this may be birth trauma. I'm not

really sure what that means--don't we ALL have birth trauma? Maybe

the enlightened ones who choose to come back to serve others don't

experience this fear of the dark like I do, but some days it can

stall me for an hour! Sometimes I just call out for Her to help me

get up and that works eventually. Sometimes before I go to bed I

remember to ask Her to help me get out of bed and that has helped

alot lately. The sankalpa helps alot, too. I've been trying to

imagine the flame of shraddha, faith, burning away the fear. This is

an image that works for me. I ask WHO is afraid and of WHAT!

 

I struggle with keeping the physical body pure through sattvic

foods. I have to take min-sankalpas to eliminate refined sugar from

my diet. This is SO HARD for me! I'm not sure if not eating the

sugar is what makes me feel so great or the knowledge that I actually

fulfilled the sankalpa!

 

Swami Satchidananda once was asked "Why is it so hard to do what I

know I am supposed to do (with regard to practice)?" He was giving

satsang and he paused, removed his glasses, filled the whole room

with love, and said: "Because what you are trying to do is a

difficult thing. You have chosen a beautiful, yet difficult path.."

He went on to say that we could spend all our time satifying our

senses and ego but we CHOOSE this path--the path of saddhana,

devotion, praise of the divine and so forth. Much like what Sahdvi

said in her last post. I remember this when I get to rock bottom...

 

Best Love,

Lynne