Intoxication

[Guest guest]

One of my bolder poems, friends, the real Madhya. Hope you enjoy...

(it's from a collection entitled, The Peterson Chronicles)

 

 

 

 

 

Intoxication

 

 

 

 

"I could while away the hours

conferrin' with the flowers...

if I only had a brain."

The Scarecrow, Wizard of Oz

 

 

 

 

 

The sweetest Sauterne

from d' Yquem

flows in the tiniest

capillaries

and veins

intoxicating my brain:

 

I see myself in

the mirror that

stands ever before me,

reflecting all that is,

was and shall be

in a single blinding

big-bang of ME

 

This was for such

a long time a shame,

a blight, a disease of

being tossed into the

coliseum arena,

going head to head

with a

heavy-muscled Spartacus,

way outta my league,

in a word: FREE.

Absolutely free.

It is this very freedom

that is the source of our

existential dysphoria,

drunken brawl of a life,

a motion sickness of

the Soul,

set apart from our Self,

fooled into believing

that many exist

and not One:

of here-being whether

or not I wish-- tossed

into so much meaning ,

endless sensations,

and consequences for

everything,

the mere

occupation of a

face and a body

and a vagina--

 

why oh why did I

marry him instead

of her?

Why, sweetest

lover, did I abandon

my babies for the career

I have never found?

For art still

awaiting birth,

Degrees yet

unconferred,

paralyzed compassion.

 

When, beloved Pee,

did the disease

become the cure?

 

Peterson, I will address

the question you have

not asked--

 

How came I to

be in love with

inebriation alone,

so powerfully

that every sensation,

all thoughts and passions

become intoxicating

merely because they

are, not only

what they are.

 

Blissful monks in India

have been witnessed

dressing their naked

bodies in feces,

tears of joy

streaming down

their Awakened cheeks.

Why is this so?

 

We follow the path

of the Exquisite Pain.

There, yes, I've said it.

 

The Exquisite Pain.

This is the most sacred

secret of tantra yoga.

 

Worship surrender.

Poor words.

Worship the sensation,

of surrender.

 

Now, surrender

is always painful.

So fall in love with

pain.

The pain of muscles

stretching,

the pain of

sitting still

hours at a time,

the pain of

displacing thoughts,

opinions and judgements--

what we think is

our personality--

with endlessly repeated

sacred sounds,

primeval prayers;

 

And, finally, even the

exquisite pain of seeing

the who that you are,

the innermost

essence of your

lifelong Me

playing on the stage

before your eyes

without ceasing,

and you surrender

to the persistent

presence of

that mundane me

until it occurs

that that I

am the Me of all mes,

and that no matter

what I am doing

here and now

I am intoxicated

by the sexy

friction of myself.

 

Tantra yoga

is falling in love

with the sensation

of being alive.

 

How many times,

Peterson, have I demanded

of myself: why, girl,

are you doing this?

Why do you work

so hard and are

so in love with

sitting alone

and still

for so

many

hours?

 

Why do I chant

for days without ceasing?

Culitivate perpetual awareness

of my One and only Self?

Why mainline on

this awareness

of the very fact

of my own life

in all its glory and

ignominy?

 

I am an addict.

Simple as that.

Addicted to intoxication.

Not satisfied with

wine or needles

or herbs,

lusting for everlasting,

unconditional Uniphoria,

for abandoning all

sensation of being

alone to the

Grace-filled awareness

of being One Community,

a single Personality

infinitely diverse and

marvelous,

a humongus

red heart beating,

a big clit

pulsing with pleasure

and all the

love that's fit

to print.

 

Surrender what ails

you long and diligently

and by Grace

the disease

recognizes itself

as the cure.

 

All addiction ends

in a steady fix

of One Big Person's

personality--

looking, seeing,

smelling and hearing--

touching myself all over,

caressing my heavenly

blue breasts,

fingering my terra cotta

cunny,

laughing, oh yes, my

lover Peterson,

each day,

every moment,

watching Our Big

Reflection in the

mirror,

knowing that all this

Stuff is me:

The skin of my

man's rosy cock,

currents of His thoughts

convecting in the

cauldron of his goofy

Peterson mind.

 

I am Kate Bush

singing to me now

about the hounds of

love, and running up

hills, and down into

valleys and canyons.

Engaging switchbacks

zig-zagging a spiraling

path upward toward

where the clouds

break and that

sky is so clear

and sweet that

only one rhapsodic

gulp is required

to change forever

the pattern of

this eternal instant

of spontaneous ME.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Madhya Nandi

 

copyright 1998

[Guest guest]

Hi Madhya,

 

thank you so much for your poem. Your words are so to the point for me. I

want to let you know, they are helping me in my current calamity and I'm glad,

there are so gifted people like you, who are able and brave to share so very

deep emotions.

I don't pursue any path, except meditation and try to 'wake up' from this

dream.

I will ask you and all others, is it common, that sometimes undescribable

desire appears, so strong, that you think you must go grazy. How do you deal

with it. I try to stay calm and wait until the inner storm is over. And

sometimes I have to give in to calm down the monkey in my brain.

Then there are thoughts like; God is... so this desire too is God... and

you are in the trap quick!?! And this days I feel cought in this body more

than ever.

 

 

Love

Uwe

[Guest guest]

> UweJohann

>

> [..]

> I will ask you and all others, is it common, that sometimes

> undescribable

> desire appears, so strong, that you think you must go grazy. How

> do you deal

> with it. I try to stay calm and wait until the inner storm is over. And

> sometimes I have to give in to calm down the monkey in my brain.

> Then there are thoughts like; God is... so this desire too is

> God... and

> you are in the trap quick!?! And this days I feel cought in this

> body more

> than ever.

 

Although desire was never an issue for me, my version of "being caught in

the body" is that as long as there are feelings, one is caught (because of

the urge to breathe). Quite a long time ago I became aware of a kind of

barrier to progress. As a remedy, I meditated for 120 hours at a stroke,

combined with taking a breath once a minute. (inhaling, breath retention,

exhaling, breath retention). The barrier was crossed.

 

In my case, a barrier is sensed by an increase of "tension" (for the lack of

a better expression) in the nadis. The "little extra" provided by pranayama

was enough to cross it.

 

Jan

[Guest guest]

Uwe;

 

Hold on. Challenges abound. Blessings also. Will you allow me to

say... Love your body, your mind. Experiencing Mother Shakti may be

like experiencing your own physical and mental sensations only

concentrated a thousand times over. One is suddenly, sometimes

uncontrollably, aware of the sensation of one's own self that has

never before been experienced.

 

Perhaps because I spent many, many years hating my body, the Mother's

awakening culminated several years practice and commitment to love my

body. Now I do. And, perhaps because I spent many years hating

life, my own journey has been committed to love all of life, to

realize that all of consciousness is marvelous and astonishing and

real. This is why in my poems, I think, I try to share how even a

very ordinary life, doing ordinary things can, with the Love of Self,

and the romance of Sadhana, become as rich and delightful as the life

of any Saint. Especially when one has the lives of Saints from which

to draw for inspiration.

 

One of my favorite stories concerns St. Theresa. Facing Her

torturers, being convicted by of heresy by the Inquisition, St.

Theresa is condemned to have her breasts cut off and to be put to

death. The next image shall never leave my mind. Lovingly, and with

the light of devotion in her eyes, Theresa took Her breasts in her

hands and offered them to the torturer's blade. This woman so abided

in the Presence of God, that Her Awareness was absolute, Her joy,

supreme.

 

Oh, and another book--my absolute favorite. The poems of Lalla, a

Kashmiri saint, translated by Coleman Barks. It is entitled, Naked

Song. Lalla lived, I believe, in the thirteenth century. As She

became Awakened, She discarded Her clothing and journeyed from place

to place naked, dancing. Her story and poems are thirst-quenching.

 

For my part, a person can read all kinds of mystical literature,

tantras, shastras, agamas and sutras, but nothing can match poetry to

teach and stimulate the heart of the Seeker.

 

A final word: She who sincerely seeks is truly Awake.

 

Love and devotion,

 

Madhya

[Guest guest]

Another favourite story of mine is of the Yogini Yeshe Tsogyal, (she was

actually a Dakini). Anyway, when some folks tried to rape her, she in turn

initiated them into the Tantric path and made them her disciples .

 

Sorry i have not been writing. I am recovering from Mono, and one of my

teachers is in town and his teachings have been taking all evening most of

the time. We've also been doing lots of new things for practise too. My

poor husband is feeling a little orphaned lately. Poor guy is married to a

Dharma addict.

 

O today is Losar, beginnning of the Earth Bunny year.

 

Tashi Losar! (have an auspicous new year)

 

Q for y'all. Is the concept of god as you know it an internal concept or

an external concept?

 

with maitri,

 

--janpa tsomo

[Guest guest]

Janpa:

 

Good to hear from you. Sad to hear you've been ailing. Glad to hear

you are recovering. Re: God-- for me, inside and outside are the

Same.

 

Thanks for your story! We can use the stories we can get.

 

You know, I knew a Deborah Orf once, quite a few years ago, I'm

afraid. Did you ever study acting at a major Southern California

theatre?

 

In devotion,

 

Madhya

[Guest guest]

> "Debora A. Orf" <dorf01

>

> Another favourite story of mine is of the Yogini Yeshe Tsogyal, (she was

> actually a Dakini). Anyway, when some folks tried to rape her, she in turn

> initiated them into the Tantric path and made them her disciples .

 

One of my favorites is the Sufi Hallaj who was executed because he said "I

am the Truth". He complained that when a bramble bush said the same to Moses

in the bible, no one complained The story goes, that the elements were so

infuriated because of the injustice that the river threatened to inundate

the city, when his ashes would be thrown in its water. Out of compassion,

Hallaj persuaded the elements not to do so, stating that those, following

the letter of the Koran for doing their duty, had to be considered to do so

out of love for God.

> Sorry i have not been writing. I am recovering from Mono, and one of my

> teachers is in town and his teachings have been taking all evening most of

> the time. We've also been doing lots of new things for practise too. My

> poor husband is feeling a little orphaned lately. Poor guy is married to a

> Dharma addict.

 

Sorry about your illness - haven't even had a cold or flue in ten years,

since I switched to the "fruits only" style of eating. Members of the Indian

community hear say it's a diet for yogis only but I know that to be a lie

Can't you turn your husband into a Dharma addict, if he isn't one yet? K. is

said to be contagious...

> O today is Losar, beginnning of the Earth Bunny year.

 

I faintly know the Tibetans have both a quality and an animal in years and

horoscopes; imagining that earth and bunny are a better combination that

wood and bunny, is it more auspicious?

> Tashi Losar! (have an auspicous new year)

>

> Q for y'all. Is the concept of god as you know it an internal concept or

> an external concept?

>

> with maitri,

>

> --janpa tsomo

 

God is a concept because the Nameless can't be expressed or named; in

literature it is easily recognized which God is meant (concept or Nameless)

but not so for the uninitiated. So from a practical point of view I never

use the word God unless I know who I am talking to.

 

Jan

[Guest guest]

Gloria, thanks for your story.

 

Brings to mind a very underrated and misunderstood phenomenon. Oddly

enough, this story comes from the Book of Mormon, one of the

principle scriptures used by the Mormons, (I was raised one, many

years ago, and served as a Mormon missionary).

 

One race of people was constantly at war with its neighbors. They

were quite brutal and sought satisfaction through enslavement. One

day, a Prophet and Teacher came among the people. After teaching the

world of God, and in the wake of miraculous occurences, the entire

city-state was converted. To seal the oath of their faith and

devotion to God, the people made a vow of non-violence. They dug a

deep hole and threw in all of their weapons of war.

 

The reward for the faith of this people was peace. And with peace

came prosperity. This, ironically, made them a valuable target for

conquest.

 

Former enemies came to do battle with these peaceful people. As a

community, they all walked to meet the enemy--without weapons or

ill-intent. Many people were slaughtered while they offered

themselves to the enemy swords. Soon, filled with the horror of

their brutality, the enemy warriors retreated and went home.

 

This scene was repeated more than once, until the children of the

Non-violent Citizens finally took up arms to save themselves. But

the original vow-takers never retreated from their vow--even in the

face of imminent death. Faith in God and non violence remained their

abiding conviction despite logic or rational argument that suggested

that self-preservation is humanity's Number One priority.

 

Is there a lesson in this, I wonder?

 

Madhya

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

they were being slaughtered. Their enemies finally ceased the

battle. They were horrified by

[Guest guest]

Gloria shares:

These are great stories, in my book I wrote about Edith Stein who also

has an incredible story. She was jewish and knew from spiritual

awareness that her people were being killed by Hitler. When she became a

Catholic nun which was before this started, she could have used this to

escape being found, but instead she asked God if it was his will to use

her as penance for Hitler and the German people who were committing such

acts against humanity. She said when asked if she didn't wish to save

herself, she said, absolutely not, that would be the worst thing that

could happen to me. And she and her sister went to death with even the

guards touched by the love and devotion that naturally flowed through

them. Her sister was greatly affected by Edith. This is detachment and

love at its finest.

>

> One of my favorite stories concerns St. Theresa. Facing Her torturers,

> being convicted by of heresy by the Inquisition, St. Theresa is

> condemned to have her breasts cut off and to be put to death. The next

> image shall never leave my mind. Lovingly, and with the light of

> devotion in her eyes, Theresa took Her breasts in her hands and

> offered them to the torturer's blade. This woman so abided in the

> Presence of God, that Her Awareness was absolute, Her joy, supreme.

>

> Oh, and another book--my absolute favorite. The poems of Lalla, a

> Kashmiri saint, translated by Coleman Barks. It is entitled, Naked

> Song. Lalla lived, I believe, in the thirteenth century. As She became

> Awakened, She discarded Her clothing and journeyed from place to place

> naked, dancing. Her story and poems are thirst-quenching.

>

> For my part, a person can read all kinds of mystical literature,

> tantras, shastras, agamas and sutras, but nothing can match poetry to

> teach and stimulate the heart of the Seeker.

>

> A final word: She who sincerely seeks is truly Awake.

>

> Love and devotion,

>

> Madhya

 

--

 

Enter The Silence to Know God ... and... accept life as the teacher.

Gloria Joy Greco

e-mail me at : lodpress and visit our homepages at:

http://users.intercomm.com/larryn/

&

http://www.freeyellow.com/members/zg888/

Hope you enjoy them!

[Guest guest]

madhya nandi wrote:

>

> madhya nandi <madhya

>

> Gloria, thanks for your story.

>

> Brings to mind a very underrated and misunderstood phenomenon. Oddly

> enough, this story comes from the Book of Mormon, one of the

> principle scriptures used by the Mormons, (I was raised one, many

> years ago, and served as a Mormon missionary).

>

> One race of people was constantly at war with its neighbors. They

> were quite brutal and sought satisfaction through enslavement. One

> day, a Prophet and Teacher came among the people. After teaching the

> world of God, and in the wake of miraculous occurences, the entire

> city-state was converted. To seal the oath of their faith and

> devotion to God, the people made a vow of non-violence. They dug a

> deep hole and threw in all of their weapons of war.

>

> The reward for the faith of this people was peace. And with peace

> came prosperity. This, ironically, made them a valuable target for

> conquest.

>

> Former enemies came to do battle with these peaceful people. As a

> community, they all walked to meet the enemy--without weapons or

> ill-intent. Many people were slaughtered while they offered

> themselves to the enemy swords. Soon, filled with the horror of

> their brutality, the enemy warriors retreated and went home.

>

> This scene was repeated more than once, until the children of the

> Non-violent Citizens finally took up arms to save themselves. But

> the original vow-takers never retreated from their vow--even in the

> face of imminent death. Faith in God and non violence remained their

> abiding conviction despite logic or rational argument that suggested

> that self-preservation is humanity's Number One priority.

>

> Is there a lesson in this, I wonder?

 

G

Isn't it a fact of life that constantly is tested over and over. How the

heart seeks truth and yet the way is filled with challenge. Each soul

must make the decision, surrender to life with all of its potential

suffering, which always involves faith, or take control and fight from

an idea of what is right and wrong. Learning to accept ones life as it

is, is always the challenge isn't it?

>

> Madhya

>

> they were being slaughtered. Their enemies finally ceased the

> battle. They were horrified by

>

> ------

> Ta Da! See our new web site.

 

--

 

Enter The Silence to Know God ... and... accept life as the teacher.

Gloria Joy Greco

e-mail me at : lodpress and visit our homepages at:

http://users.intercomm.com/larryn/

&

http://www.freeyellow.com/members/zg888/

Hope you enjoy them!