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Old Wine In A New Bottle

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Good morning from Madhya

 

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<bold><bigger><bigger><bigger><bigger>Old Wine In A New Bottle

 

 

 

</bigger></bigger></bigger></bigger></bold><bigger><italic>"Ollie,Ollie,

Ollie-oxen free, free, free...

 

Ollie, Ollie, Ollie-oxen, free, free, free..."

 

(A child's mantra)

 

 

 

 

 

</italic>Hello, Peterson--

 

still here, are you?

 

Wishing to document

 

this moment,

 

allow me the freedom

 

to push my way into

 

your soul and squirm

 

and writhe in

 

liquid ecstasy--

 

 

Like when in bed

 

you stroke my arm,

 

my thigh,

 

one thing leading

 

to another

 

while nothing happens.

 

 

Where am I

 

all of this time?

 

 

High as a kite

 

can fly.

 

 

I am persona

 

non gratis if I cannot

 

feel some extra-

 

ordinary sensation--

 

a finer, subtler

 

exultation than

 

yesterday's--

 

 

Dozens of by-gone

 

days hobbled by

 

lust for more

 

dizzying heights

 

to leap,

 

adrenalizing the living

 

moment into believing

 

Now is more than

 

heaven,

 

beyond the suffering

 

of hell.

 

 

I pinch my cheek

 

hard till tears gather-

 

I am alive,

 

Am I alive?

 

Alive feels so...

 

familiar,

 

previously owned,

 

flawed--

 

 

Fermentation, have I

 

turned sour in the

 

barrel awaiting maturity?

 

 

Was the crush

 

impure that filled

 

the vat and kissed

 

the yeast

 

leaving me alone

 

in an oaken womb

 

craving transformation--

 

devoted to a

 

marriage saving

 

me from this

 

desire-infested life?

 

 

I touch myself-

 

I touch myself,

 

and feel me rocking

 

and reeling

 

past the moon,

 

beyond the stars,

 

following the golden monkey,

 

the stuff of ancient

 

mystic visions that visited

 

me one afternoon

 

some years ago

 

and left me wandering,

 

searching for flavors

 

more than my tongue

 

can sense,

 

for words more

 

delicious than my

 

palate can imagine,

 

for truths that can

 

be had only by

 

imbibing myself,

 

devouring everything on

 

this particular plate

 

so that one day the only

 

crumb remaining is

 

the one that possesses

 

my name, my face,

 

my past and future,

 

Ricky Rachel MadhyaNandi.

 

 

I am sitting cross-legged

 

on Peterson's king-sized bed

 

with fat Audrey

 

sleeping at my side

 

her warm fur tickling

 

my skin,

 

meditating my way

 

toward immortality,

 

What am I viewing

 

in this dark tomb--

 

womb of countless

 

incarnations?

 

Me.

 

 

I am looking

 

at me and wondering

 

how it is that I may

 

get high on being merely

 

me,

 

alive alone,

 

with no other condition

 

or circumstance to interrupt

 

a constant flow of

 

sweetest spirit,

 

the subtlest intoxicant,

 

the wine freed from

 

the poison of desire,

 

words, meaning...

 

yes, even sensation.

 

 

Shiva, my Singular Husband,

 

why have you cursed

 

me so?

 

Who told you to awaken and

 

make my life miserable until

 

at last, facing the lowest

 

common denominator

 

of myself,

 

the cube root of

 

me made flesh and blood,

 

I am forced to cannibalize

 

my own skin, my eyes,

 

mouth,

 

vagina,

 

feet?

 

 

 

 

Madhyanandi

 

 

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