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Hello Harsha,

 

I've sent you a private Email, and a reply would be appreciated. I'm

starting to get a paranoid feeling that both you and Jerry Katz feel I'm

some sort of scum. A reassurance that this is not the case would be

appreciated.

 

Thanks,

 

With Love,

 

Ayam Atma Brahma

Tim

 

-----

The CORE of Reality awaits you at:

http://www.eskimo.com/~fewtch/ND/index.html -

Poetry, Writings, Live Chat on spiritual topics.

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Message: 19

Fri, 19 Mar 1999 12:53:30 -0800

Tim Gerchmez <fewtch

To Harsha

 

 

Tim said:

"Hello Harsha,

 

I've sent you a private Email, and a reply would be appreciated. I'm

starting to get a paranoid feeling that both you and Jerry Katz feel I'm

some sort of scum. A reassurance that this is not the case would be

appreciated."

 

This message got me thinking, so i answer. It helps me sometimes to see

from a distance what got me thinking, before it falls back in the

subconscious again.

 

I was first curious at the meaning of the word "scum", so i went to look

into my english-french dictionary.

 

Then i got thinking how can one reassure someone else about is paranoia

about being a scum? The real reassurance can only come from within.

IMHO.

 

But that's not the reason why i'm writing or got me writing, i believe.

When i stopped smoking, it was for me a gift to discover. For me, the

lack of nicotine acted like a radar beam into dormant subconscious part

of me and a fascinating energy came out from the residual of this

subconscious drilling marked by the hungry path left by nicotine all the

way to the area of the nadis. Your attempt of trying to stop smoking, i

believe wakes up those memories of exploration in the smoker that i am.

I thank you for that.

 

Their should be a yoga of stopping smoking...

 

Enjoy your exploration Tim,

Antoine

 

--

"An act of goodness is of itself an act of happiness. No reward coming

after the event can compare with the sweet reward that went with it."

(Maeterlinck, Maurice)

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Dear Antoine,

 

At 11:21 PM 3/19/99 -0500, you wrote:

>But that's not the reason why i'm writing or got me writing, i believe.

>When i stopped smoking, it was for me a gift to discover. For me, the

>lack of nicotine acted like a radar beam into dormant subconscious part

>of me and a fascinating energy came out from the residual of this

>subconscious drilling marked by the hungry path left by nicotine all the

>way to the area of the nadis.

 

Yes, stopping smoking has wakened some unusual energies in me, and caused

some immense psychospiritual changes that have only begun to occur after 5

days or so without nicotine. I too sense a "path" or vacuum left empty now

that nicotine no longer fills it. This path leads mainly into the brain

centers that simply control the sense-cravings (dopamine receptors in the

brain, probably), but there are various and diversive smaller "paths" that

lead into many different areas of emotive and other kinds of conscious

"mental activity" that were once blocked and are now available to be explored.

>Their should be a yoga of stopping smoking...

 

Agreed! I have found that when combined with a quiet mind and inner look

at Self, nicotine cravings turn into an intense euphoric sensation that is

as powerful in its own way as the action of certain opiate derivatives or

cocaine are (yes, speaking from past experience with these latter chemicals).

>Enjoy your exploration Tim,

>Antoine

 

Thank you, I'm thoroughly enjoying it! Although it would be nice to have a

cigarette <g>, the cravings are quite thoroughly enjoyable in their own

right! In fact, I have had the option of using "the patch" but have been

too occupied with enjoying the cravings to bother with it. They are indeed

a means of exploration, into both ego and psyche, and at times are

INTENSELY euphoric. At times, a particular strong craving will bring a

strong emotion along with it, and it is a delicious feeling to explore that

emotion.

 

With Love and Prozac,

 

Tim

 

 

-----

The CORE of Reality awaits you at:

http://www.eskimo.com/~fewtch/ND/index.html -

Poetry, Writings, Live Chat on spiritual topics.

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