Ee: Antoine/Love

[Guest guest]

> Thu, 01 Apr 1999

> Antoine <carrea

> Re: Dharma/Love

>

> Hello Gene,

 

Hello, Antoine. First let me say, that I sincerly appreciate your

contributions to this forum. I really enjoy your rather advanced position.

Now, you asked...

> You said to Dharma:

>

> > When the 'reinforced standing wave pattern' generated by

> > (attachment-fueled) reaction no longer is fed, the pattern collapases. If

> > this were to happen with you, you would become invisible, and you would

> > dwell soley in the realm of pure consciousness. Those who desire this

> > condition may apply themselves to non-attachment, so as to remove the fuel

> > which powers the standing wave pattern of 'self' or personality.

> >

> > Personally, I do not desire such an event in my life; in fact, I have come

> > 'too close' to that event for my own comfort. I am content at present to

> > abide in this great gift of my life as it is.

>

> I was wondering if you would like to share or comment more to 'coming to

> close' to "remove the fuel that powers the standing wave pattern of

> 'self' or personality", for your comfort.

 

Yes. I found the "clear light", and in a state of ultimate ecstacy, allowed

myself to 'dissolve' into it.

 

I found that I understood 'very much' of everything; I found that as I

experienced the 'clear light', that my substance volitilized, and that as

it did so, "I" became my 'essence'. I was very ready to leave the 'Urth

plane' at that time.

 

But, I felt a sense of alarm, and I was told a story by 'someone'. This

story showed me that my 'work' on the 'Urth plane' was far from done, and

that I would have a 'heart connection' with this place, this time and space

of my own karmic creation, until I had finished my work here.

 

At that point, I realized that actual, genuine 'surrender' had more to do

with my assigned work, than with my idealistic preferences to escape...

work, pain, and confusion. I realized that this work of being 'human' is

not so bad after all. I 'saw' or was gifted with, the vision that

consciousness is expandable beyond any perceived limits, and at that point,

I knew that I could 'return' to my karmically created universe, to live out

my individual destiny. I surrendered, and was drawn back into this time and

space, to awaken in my body. But indeed, I had lost about eleven pounds of

body weight in approximately thirty minutes; also, I was surrounded by a

potent cloud of ozone, and seemed to be charged with powerful static

electricity. This cloud of ozone emanated from me, or at least was with

me, for several days.

 

There is much more to this, which I hesitate to mention.

 

Is this the kind of descripion that you are seeking?

 

As a result of my surrender, I have been gifted with many fine experiences

and insights.

> I know at first around 17 when i started to want to remove a personality

> in me, after nursing, unprepared to such a task, for months a chronic

> neurotic patients of my mother who is psychiatrist, like my father is

> also.

 

Antoine, are you saying that BOTH of your parents are psychiatrists??? Now,

THAT is amazing.

> Each time i tried to do this new discovery of 'jumping' from my

> self acquired to non-self, my body would come close to die, my hearth

> stopping and else. I came to find that this "strain" on the body, from

> wanting to jump, came from the not subtle enough bridge between this

> 'self', acquired with the contact with the neurotic patient, and this

> state of grace i was before this experience of acquiring 'self', if i

> might say. I often look at my first 20 years as "Emile" by Rousseau,

> where a kid is educated in nature away from men, and then is projected

> into a new world, that of society, where wolf (men) live.

 

I believe that I understand what you are saying. Your actual 'nature' was

in great conflict with the power and pervasiveness of the social

conditioning which you were exposed to, and the difference between the two

'alternative' universes was a field of tension which produced a sort of

continual 'seizure-state', which probably intensified on occasion, to the

point of your self being somewhat disabled by the occurances. I am sure

that this was disorienting both to you, and to your parents also, if they

noticed.

 

I understand you to be saying 'displacement' when you say "jump". You also

seem to mean that you experience a kind of escalating, increasingly rapid

movement toward a sort of radical 'repolarization', similar in idea to

matter becoming antimatter. The sudden transformative experience is

probably exhausting as well as uplifting.

 

The 'bridge' you mention will I am sure, someday be strong or pure enough

to support you, should you then choose to use it. In the meantime, it seems

that you are enjoying this time.

> Since then many experience append, but sometimes something's triggers a

> reflex to remove the fuel which powers the standing wave pattern. To

> give a concrete example: weight from the body, 10 to 20, pounds can be

> lost in a moment. Each time that weight comes back, an I comes back, it

> sinks deeper into a deeper balance. My choice in life at this point is

> not about aiming to transform lets say 200 pounds of my flesh into

> spirit stuff, but to abide, like you say, to what is offered. Yet from

> time to time new experience polarize me and make me feel i must jump

> somewhere in one pole. And for me this desire to jump somewhere, when

> there is nowhere to jump, is a very deeply rooted desire i enjoy eating

> ever deeper. Maybe it's simply a desire to not change things when things

> change...

>

> Antoine

 

Are you familiar with what is referred to as 'temporal lobe epilepsy'? If

not, please read up on it. You will find it fascinating.

 

I am not saying that you are 'epileptic', but that the literature of TLE is

a trove of amazing descriptions, which I have found very enriching to read.

 

 

Here, I will say a 'pun'; that 'Kundalini is a perfect fit'.

 

I will also say that it is possible to deeply or intuitive know, the

potentialities of what is a human being, and to choose to allow oneself to

'ripen' at a rate which represents a natural evolution, rather than an

idealistic pursuit of an illusary 'perfection'.

 

This is to say, that one may own a gun, yet never fire it, knowing full

well what it can do, the physics of the situation, etc. It seems to be

enough to know that I am 'armed'; I need not prove to myself or to anyone

what my true capabilities are. I am in no hurry to do anything, and I am

being tutored by the most gracious teacher available. I am gifted with a

way of 'seeing' which seems to be very special, and yet, as I read this

forum, I see that I am not alone in this situation. Many of us have been

drawn into what seems to be, by most accounts, to be decidedly 'unworldly'

experiences, and have thus also been compelled to explore the possibilities

which these unusual experiences seem to offer. It is very fortunate to be

able to communicate with others who have been for whatever reasons, thrust

into this situation.

 

I advocate that 'we' look within for the peace which is our true gift, to

thus be able to act in a way that is helpful for those who for whatever

reason, are suffering for the sake of conforming to socially mandated

standards. If we can show to others that we have been able to go beyond

these standards and still be termed sane, we are performing a valuable

service. In so doing, we expand the possibilites for everyone.

 

Wishing you the very best,

 

==Gene Poole==

[Guest guest]

Hello Gene,

> Hello, Antoine. First let me say, that I sincerly appreciate your

> contributions to this forum. I really enjoy your rather advanced position.

 

I'm glad you enjoy them. But sincerely i don't see anything advanced in

them.

> > I was wondering if you would like to share or comment more to 'coming to

> > close' to "remove the fuel that powers the standing wave pattern of

> > 'self' or personality", for your comfort.

>

> Yes. I found the "clear light", and in a state of ultimate ecstacy, allowed

> myself to 'dissolve' into it.

>

> I found that I understood 'very much' of everything; I found that as I

> experienced the 'clear light', that my substance volitilized, and that as

> it did so, "I" became my 'essence'. I was very ready to leave the 'Urth

> plane' at that time.

>

> But, I felt a sense of alarm, and I was told a story by 'someone'.

 

If i may ask, who was that someone that as the power to hold "us" back?

Any ideas, any guess? To me it seems that that "someone" grows with each

moment, that that "someone" wants to become my 'essence' also. I

dissolve into others. Maybe the name of that someone is the Earth plane.

 

This

> story showed me that my 'work' on the 'Urth plane' was far from done, and

> that I would have a 'heart connection' with this place, this time and space

> of my own karmic creation, until I had finished my work here.

 

Will there not be work as long as there is a here?

> At that point, I realized that actual, genuine 'surrender' had more to do

> with my assigned work, than with my idealistic preferences to escape...

> work, pain, and confusion.

 

Yes, yes, yes...

 

I realized that this work of being 'human' is

> not so bad after all. I 'saw' or was gifted with, the vision that

> consciousness is expandable beyond any perceived limits, and at that point,

> I knew that I could 'return' to my karmically created universe, to live out

> my individual destiny. I surrendered, and was drawn back into this time and

> space, to awaken in my body. But indeed, I had lost about eleven pounds of

> body weight in approximately thirty minutes;

 

Does it still take longer to regain that weight, if you still loose some

in that manner from time to time, than it takes to loose it?

 

also, I was surrounded by a

> potent cloud of ozone, and seemed to be charged with powerful static

> electricity. This cloud of ozone emanated from me, or at least was with

> me, for several days.

>

> There is much more to this, which I hesitate to mention.

 

You are the one to know. I would love to hear more, from my side.

> Is this the kind of descripion that you are seeking?

 

Yes. What you describe to me, right know is much 'better' than listening

to a client at work cry to me because is or hers tv or cable modem, does

not work for one hour. Your words may resonate back in my mind then to

allow me to listen from deeper for the Unique voice also behind my angry

client at work. It's my "service" and you help me in it, in some way.

Listening to you is not a service, it's a grace to me.

 

It's so precious, a heart talking...

> As a result of my surrender, I have been gifted with many fine experiences

> and insights.

 

 

> Antoine, are you saying that BOTH of your parents are psychiatrists??? Now,

> THAT is amazing.

 

The amazing part is that i don't understand why it's amazing. Why do you

think so? You are not the first one to tell me such a thing. Curious.

> The 'bridge' you mention will I am sure, someday be strong or pure enough

> to support you, should you then choose to use it. In the meantime, it seems

> that you are enjoying this time.

 

Yes i am

> Are you familiar with what is referred to as 'temporal lobe epilepsy'? If

> not, please read up on it. You will find it fascinating.

 

I don't know if you know how ants antenna work, how they come, with

small holes, to give "spatiality to odors" called "pheromones" (in

french). Certain types of pheromones seem to plunge the colony of ants

in a epilepsy state. In a certain way, from my perception of epileptic

friends and lovers i have known, i see in the "dark" pathways of the

nervous system they have, awaiting for subtle lightning of 'light', i

see in those pathways forms of antennas. It's only hard for them

sometimes to interact fully in this society without being pushed in an

epileptic state. What beautiful sensitivity do they have if ones only

learns to listen to it...

> I am not saying that you are 'epileptic', but that the literature of TLE is

> a trove of amazing descriptions, which I have found very enriching to read.

> Here, I will say a 'pun'; that 'Kundalini is a perfect fit'.

 

Yes, it helps the tree grow 'stronger' with more leafs while maintaining

the sensitive capacity of an Orchid flower or someone 'gifted' with

epilepsy.

 

A nice form of "telepathy" may come out of this, better than typing

words, no

> I will also say that it is possible to deeply or intuitive know, the

> potentialities of what is a human being, and to choose to allow oneself to

> 'ripen' at a rate which represents a natural evolution, rather than an

> idealistic pursuit of an illusary 'perfection'.

 

It's tai-chi in action.

> This is to say, that one may own a gun, yet never fire it, knowing full

> well what it can do, the physics of the situation, etc. It seems to be

> enough to know that I am 'armed'; I need not prove to myself or to anyone

> what my true capabilities are. I am in no hurry to do anything,

 

Why should one be?

 

and I am

> being tutored by the most gracious teacher available. I am gifted with a

> way of 'seeing' which seems to be very special, and yet, as I read this

> forum, I see that I am not alone in this situation. Many of us have been

> drawn into what seems to be, by most accounts, to be decidedly 'unworldly'

> experiences, and have thus also been compelled to explore the possibilities

> which these unusual experiences seem to offer. It is very fortunate to be

> able to communicate with others who have been for whatever reasons, thrust

> into this situation.

 

Fortunate like a sun rising on a valley pointing to it.

> I advocate that 'we' look within for the peace which is our true gift, to

> thus be able to act in a way that is helpful for those who for whatever

> reason, are suffering for the sake of conforming to socially mandated

> standards. If we can show to others that we have been able to go beyond

> these standards and still be termed sane, we are performing a valuable

> service. In so doing, we expand the possibilites for everyone.

 

It's a nice playground.

 

Deep love,

Antoine