The absolute "me"

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Hi all,

 

Buddhists (and scientists) state that the ego is nonexistent, that there is

no "core" within a person that can be defined as "me," that the "me"

is

constantly changing. With this I agree.

 

However, I have found some kind of a "core" within my being. For sake of

definition, I would like to call this core "Not." Not is a place that is

utterly formless, totally void of definition, utterly lacking in qualities.

I envision it as a formless, depthless field of white. Imagine yourself

shrunk down to the size of the head of a pin and floating in the center of

a clean white ping pong ball, and you may get a vague idea of my vision,

although there is no sensation of size or no-size within Not. Another

visualization of Not might be floating or standing within an *EXTREMELY*

dense, white fog (but don't let it be cold or wet... that is a quality).

 

Not is utterly silent. Not is utterly sizeless and depthless. Not is

utterly timeless. Time does not pass inside of Not, nor does it not pass.

 

Various experiments can be performed in this place of Not. First, "be

there." There is no body within the Not, of course, since it is inside

oneself, so be there in a formless and bodiless (although conscious) state.

There is no sensation of gravity or movement, no sensation of lack of

gravity or floating. One is simply there, without any qualities.

 

Now, look around. There is absolutely nothing for the "eyes" to focus on,

simply whiteness. There is no sensation of depth - the whiteness appears

to be directly on the surface of the "eyeballs." Imagine "turning upside

down" within this space. There is no change in perspective. "Upside down"

is the same as "Right side up." Turn a full 360 degrees, looking outward.

Absolutely no change in perspective, nothing to focus on. Not has no

qualities whatsoever. Absolute blackness could just as well (and perhaps

better for some) be used as a visualization of "Not" as absolute whiteness,

although since the color white is said to be a combination of all other

colors, I prefer it as a visualization since Not is the place from which

all "somethings" may spring. Blackness isn't a color, but a state which

absorbs all light and color.

 

Now, practice spherical panoramic "vision" within Not. "See" all around in

three dimensions, at the same time, without moving the "head." Doing this

is the first step in BECOMING NOT.

 

Dissolve into or simply become Not. "You" are "Not." When I do this, I

find first a tremendous sense of peace and release from the burden of ego,

followed later by a feeling of Sat-Chit-Ananda. Be Not. Not is your true

state. From Not springs all things that are "not Not."

>From the perspective of being Not, Not may state "I AM." This has an

amazing effect. If you visit Not in meditation, try it. Once you *are*

Not and have been Not for quite a while, Let Not be conscious, and state "I

AM." I won't describe the effect, but will let you discover it for yourself.

 

If anyone else visits the Not within themselves, let me know what your

particular perception of Not is. My perception is that it is a place of

tremendous peace and bliss.

 

With Love,

 

Tim

 

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