Guest guest Posted April 23, 1999 Report Share Posted April 23, 1999 >Fri, 23 Apr 1999 16:50:30 -0500 >MsSheWolf >Dharma <fisher1 >[K-list] In Memoriam Rick Puravs >Cc: kundalini > >My heart goes out to you, my dear. I send love and comfort... healing and >peace. > >I remember Rick well... he was a valuable part of this list community. > >>>For those of you who >>>knew him, you will remember him as a Buddhist, a very brilliant person, >>>very spiritual, very helpful. -snip- He was beautiful >>in his own way and in my eyes. > >Yes, he was and is beautiful. I loved his wonderful sense of humor. I >will miss him very much. > >>He was my closest friend and lover. -snip- >>My heart is very heavy. He wanted to marry me so >>much, and I was finally getting to the place where I thought I could marry >>him. He wanted us to connect fully in this life so we could come together in >>the next and for eternity. > >You still can, whether you said the ritual words or not. He loved you as >his wife, didn't he? > >>That is how much he loved me. We bought a >>beautiful east Indian dress for the wedding (I should have married him Maybe >>I could have saved his life.) > >I doubt it... In my experience we decide - at a spiritual level - when we >will die. Some people know this as they are moving into the transition... >some don't. He may have made the decision before his birth... that he >would be here for a certain length of time... But in that time he knew you >again... and loved you and was loved... Be joyful for that, and don't >blame yourself for anything. He wouldn't want it. > >>All of his friends and family are telling me >>that he loved me more than anything and anybody. They want me to come to >>Michigan for the funeral, but I don't want to see him dead. He was beautiful >>in his own way and in my eyes. > >When I saw my father's body in the casket, I touched his cheek... it felt >like a rock. That made it so clear that he was not there... he had left >that temporary garment... and it was reverting to nature. > >If you saw Rick's body, it would still be beautiful... but it would >clearly not be him... He isn't there any more... > >I hope you can find it in your heart to give up that body... give it back >to the Earth... you loved it because he lived in it... now he is always >with you... I know you may not feel that way right now, but it is so. > >I found this note from him in my "In" box... I don't know why... it was >on K-list some months ago... > >---------------- >>>Is she just another "attachment"?? >> >>Rick: >>no, she is sacred, as you are.....at the deepest level you are both the same >> >>> Even in such love that we share? > >>Rick: >> (see above) >> >>>Am I crazy for even thinking about throwing her to the wind? >> >>Rick: >>yes, never abandon a woman, esp one with whom you have a relationship such >>as you just described >> >>>(I just >>>hope the wind catches her and sets her someplace safe). >> >>Rick: >>ya, well she may keep you grounded, and i mean this in a positive >>sense....if you aim to fly with the clouds, or the stars, you may need >>someone to pull you back to earth......the earth by the way, is no less >>sacred than what you aspire to >> >>> Your advice >>>is appreciated. >> >>Rick: >>........read up on some Tantric Yoga, or Mantak Chia's books, as it is >>possible to >>use sexuality as a path........seek to resolve duality by uniting man and >>woman in bliss...... >>my advice is to not reject, to not push away, the love you are being >>provided with >> >>Rick >-------------- > >>I just didn't think marriage was necessary. >>How I wish I had given that to him, said the words, heard the congratulations >>of friends and family. He knows I love him. He has always known, probably >>for centuries. > >Yes, he knows you love him. You gave him everything important... yourself >and your love.. Now for his sake, give up your regrets... give them to >him, because he wouldn't want you to hang onto them... a gift for him... >so you will think of him always with joy and love. > >>I keep talking to him, just in case he is here. I email him notes telling >>him I love him. His aol screen name was SnowLion97. How many times have I >>seen that name on this computer. I would bet it is in excess of a thousand >>times. Now I won't ever see it again. I know it is not important, but >>remember, I just learned of this at 12:45 pm EST. I am very fragile. I feel >>very alone. Talk to me, Rick! Please just one more time before you go > >It may be that, because this is such a shock to you and so painful, you are >not in a condition where you can hear him. As you work through the >grief... and the anger... and let them go, the time will come when you >will feel his presence and hear him again... I am certain of it. > >At visiting hours for my father, he was talking in my ear... cracking >jokes about everything that was happening... just like him... I had a >hard time keeping a straight face and not cracking up. )) But I wasn't >dealing with grief... he had lived a good life and a fairly long one... >and he had told me he was going... said he couldn't think of anything more >he wanted to do in this life. > >When you have loved and united with one such as Rick, it is always so... >it never ends... Lean on your friends, on all of us who love you, during >this period... He is not separate from you, and one day you will know it. > >My love and peace, >Dharma > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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