Guest guest Posted May 6, 1999 Report Share Posted May 6, 1999 Hello everyone: There has been a lot of discussion concerning one's true nature and its relationship to consciousness. I'd like to offer my personal perspective based on my experience, and the role that I think Kundalini is playing in my own mythic journey. Nearly twenty years ago, in the midst of suicidal despair caused by unrelenting panic attacks, I made a last ditch prayer for deliverance to the "creative force" (I had negative connotations of "God" due to a judgmental, fundamentalist upbringing). I was completely surprised when, with absolutely no expectation, I was graced with a realization of my true self. An enormous weight was suddenly lifted as if from my shoulders and I felt totally unburdened and completely at home in the universe. I felt real. I knew then that "I" was not the "I" that I thought I was. That night I quickly fell into a deep sleep (the first such sleep I had had in weeks) and dreamed the most beautiful dream of my life. My brother was showering me with a garden hose, and I laughed and laughed so hard that I awakened my wife. Breakfast the next morning tasted wonderful. While riding the subway into work, I marvelled at the beauty of strangers. At work, I found myself enjoying writing previously mundane reports. But then I began to question why I was so peaceful, and suddenly I was resubmerged in fear. I felt "dirty". But at least I knew there was hope. A few weeks later, while contemplating my dreams and the state of peace I had experienced, I had a revelation - God was searching for me. I was loved and wanted! "Electricity" suddenly began shooting up my spine and out the top of my head - I had a divine orgasm (I had not then heard of Kundalini). I expected to see God (a bearded old man?) at any moment, and I became somewhat anxious. The electrical sensations gradually subsided. I was a bit sad to have the experience end, but mostly I was so happy that I now knew that God existed and that I was loved. Most importantly for me and my family, my panic attacks were over for good. Since then, I have had my share of ups and downs. Kundalini has waxed and waned, following her own schedule. It has been a struggle to replace my negative masculine image of a judgmental God by an unconditionally loving, compassionate and more feminine God/dess. It seems to me that Kundalini is leading me on the return journey to my true self - my natural, guiltless, living-in-the-present self that I had forgotten but had glimpsed through a window of grace within my panic. Kundalini is helping me be reborn as a child of God/dess. For this, I am grateful beyond words. Love, Rob http://www.go.com ______ ____ Get your Free GO Network Email address at http://mail.go.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 1999 Report Share Posted May 6, 1999 Rob Rinne [breadcasters] Thursday, May 06, 1999 10:33 AM Ego consciousness Rob Rinne <breadcasters Hello everyone: There has been a lot of discussion concerning one's true nature and its relationship to consciousness. I'd like to offer my personal perspective based on my experience, and the role that I think Kundalini is playing in my own mythic journey. Nearly twenty years ago, in the midst of suicidal despair caused by unrelenting panic attacks, I made a last ditch prayer for deliverance to the "creative force" (I had negative connotations of "God" due to a judgmental, fundamentalist upbringing). I was completely surprised when, with absolutely no expectation, I was graced with a realization of my true self. An enormous weight was suddenly lifted as if from my shoulders and I felt totally unburdened and completely at home in the universe. I felt real. I knew then that "I" was not the "I" that I thought I was. That night I quickly fell into a deep sleep (the first such sleep I had had in weeks) and dreamed the most beautiful dream of my life. My brother was showering me with a garden hose, and I laughed and laughed so hard that I awakened my wife. Breakfast the next morning tasted wonderful. While riding the subway into work, I marvelled at the beauty of strangers. At work, I found myself enjoying writing previously mundane reports. But then I began to question why I was so peaceful, and suddenly I was resubmerged in fear. I felt "dirty". But at least I knew there was hope. A few weeks later, while contemplating my dreams and the state of peace I had experienced, I had a revelation - God was searching for me. I was loved and wanted! "Electricity" suddenly began shooting up my spine and out the top of my head - I had a divine orgasm (I had not then heard of Kundalini). I expected to see God (a bearded old man?) at any moment, and I became somewhat anxious. The electrical sensations gradually subsided. I was a bit sad to have the experience end, but mostly I was so happy that I now knew that God existed and that I was loved. Most importantly for me and my family, my panic attacks were over for good. Since then, I have had my share of ups and downs. Kundalini has waxed and waned, following her own schedule. It has been a struggle to replace my negative masculine image of a judgmental God by an unconditionally loving, compassionate and more feminine God/dess. It seems to me that Kundalini is leading me on the return journey to my true self - my natural, guiltless, living-in-the-present self that I had forgotten but had glimpsed through a window of grace within my panic. Kundalini is helping me be reborn as a child of God/dess. For this, I am grateful beyond words. Love, Rob Harsha: Thank you for this beautiful sharing Rob. Here is something I wrote some time back on Shakti and the Self. "God is always the First Person. The Great Shakti, who is the Stunning and Supreme Beauty, whose eyes radiate innocence, love, and compassion, rises from the Supreme Person who is the Ocean of Consciousness. Ego, Mind, Supermind, etc. are all manifestations of the Great Goddess known by many names. When She takes all the names and forms and merges back into the First Person, that is the Heart, there arises then the Great State, the Natural State of Perfect Self-Recognition. It is devoid of Mind or Ego or any of its manifestations having totally consumed them. That is Sat-Chit-Ananda. It is beyond all the Samadhis, Superconscious states, Celestial regions, and beyond the Supermind. That is Nityam and Poornum. It is the essence of Completeness and Eternally Free. Resting in Its Own Nature, That Which is Perfect and Supreme Satisfaction Knows nothing other than IT Self, there being nothing other than IT Self and has no longing for anything what so ever." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 1999 Report Share Posted May 6, 1999 Hi Rob, Isn't it fabulous to feel the grace of God lift you purely from love and that beautiful care from the parent. This experience was a gift to you to remember yourself and to access the strength to no longer destroy the opportunity to follow the discipline and find that peace inside. Very often in the opening revelation you are brought directly into that experience, then when it receeds the memory is in place to guide you back into the awareness through the discipline that you must do, to acquire the gift permanently. Thank you for sharing. Gloria ---------- >Rob Rinne <breadcasters > > Ego consciousness >Thu, May 6, 1999, 7:32 AM > >Rob Rinne <breadcasters > > >Hello everyone: > >There has been a lot of discussion concerning one's true nature and its >relationship to consciousness. I'd like to offer my personal perspective >based on my experience, and the role that I think Kundalini is playing in >my own mythic journey. > >Nearly twenty years ago, in the midst of suicidal despair caused by >unrelenting panic attacks, I made a last ditch prayer for deliverance to >the "creative force" (I had negative connotations of "God" due to a >judgmental, fundamentalist upbringing). I was completely surprised when, >with absolutely no expectation, I was graced with a realization of my true >self. An enormous weight was suddenly lifted as if from my shoulders and I >felt totally unburdened and completely at home in the universe. I felt >real. I knew then that "I" was not the "I" that I thought I was. > >That night I quickly fell into a deep sleep (the first such sleep I had had >in weeks) and dreamed the most beautiful dream of my life. My brother was >showering me with a garden hose, and I laughed and laughed so hard that I >awakened my wife. > >Breakfast the next morning tasted wonderful. While riding the subway into >work, I marvelled at the beauty of strangers. At work, I found myself >enjoying writing previously mundane reports. But then I began to question >why I was so peaceful, and suddenly I was resubmerged in fear. I felt >"dirty". But at least I knew there was hope. > >A few weeks later, while contemplating my dreams and the state of peace I >had experienced, I had a revelation - God was searching for me. I was >loved and wanted! "Electricity" suddenly began shooting up my spine and >out the top of my head - I had a divine orgasm (I had not then heard of >Kundalini). I expected to see God (a bearded old man?) at any moment, and >I became somewhat anxious. The electrical sensations gradually subsided. >I was a bit sad to have the experience end, but mostly I was so happy that >I now knew that God existed and that I was loved. Most importantly for me >and my family, my panic attacks were over for good. > >Since then, I have had my share of ups and downs. Kundalini has waxed and >waned, following her own schedule. It has been a struggle to replace my >negative masculine image of a judgmental God by an unconditionally loving, >compassionate and more feminine God/dess. > >It seems to me that Kundalini is leading me on the return journey to my >true self - my natural, guiltless, living-in-the-present self that I had >forgotten but had glimpsed through a window of grace within my panic. >Kundalini is helping me be reborn as a child of God/dess. > >For this, I am grateful beyond words. > >Love, > >Rob > > >http://www.go.com > > > > >______ ____ >Get your Free GO Network Email address at http://mail.go.com > > >------ >ONElist: where real people with real interests get connected. > >Join today! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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