Ramana Maharshi

[Guest guest]

Selected portions..........Harsha

 

by G. V. Subbaramayya

 

Immediately after lunch, I left the Ashrama even without taking leave of Sri

Bhagavan. I came and went incognito, as an utter stranger.

 

After nearly three years, I again visited the Ashrama in the spring of 1936,

this time with a note of introduction. Sri Bhagavan, even before going

through it, gave me a knowing nod and gracious smile and said, "Why the

introduction ? You have come before; you are not new."

.......................

 

Some years ago I had been initiated into two mantras and was enjoined to

repeat them a minimum number of times every day. I had been doing it

punctiliously, but now after entering the Ashrama, I had no mind to the

mantras or do any kind of formal worship. After a few days I was seized with

the fear of incurring sin by failing to observe the instructions on my

initiation. So I put it to Sri Bhagavan himself, making a clean breast of my

default. Sri Bhagavan smiled and said, "Just because you have done so much

of japa, its merit has brought you here. Why should you now fear while

enjoying the fruit of the japa ?"

 

I had also at this time a more serious trouble. I had been practising breath

control ( pranayama ) as taught by Swami Ramtirtha in his works. There came

a stage when I felt a terrible sensation as though my head would crack and

break into pieces. Then I stopped doing it, but every day the sensation was

recurring at the time of practice and the fear was growing that disaster was

imminent. So, at dead of night, when Bhagavan was alone, I approached him

with my tale. He said laughing, "What! Again you are seized with fear! These

are the usual experiences of people who do yogic exercises without the

immediate guidance of a Guru, but having come to me, why should you fear ?"

Then Sri Bhagavan added in an undertone: "Next time you get that sensation,

you think of me and you will be all right." From that moment to this I have

never felt it again.