Guest guest Posted May 17, 1999 Report Share Posted May 17, 1999 Hello wise ones and friends! Last couple of weeks have been intense for yours truley. My root lama, Khenpo Gyurmed Tinley Rinpoche came to town, stayed at my house for a few days gave us teachings and a new practise (new mantra that is *totally* cool!) When he left, another lama named Lama Lodu Rinpoche (student of Kalu Rinpoche and the 16th Karmapa) came and also gave teachings. Then i went goofy. I had built up hopes so high, with my own teacher coming into town, i fell into hope's little desire hooks and fell for it hook,line, and sinker! Lama Lodu-la's english is much better then Khenpo-las to me. He's more fluent. Khenpo-la's has improved much since i first met him, and at the beginning i didnt really care about it. I'd met my friend from the past and that was all i cared about. This language thing got to me. I started doubting my Kalyanamitra, then feeling awful that i was doing that. Then Lama Lodu taught the same thing Khenpo-la had, and i realized that its the same dharma. (in the sense of Buddhadharma, i know 'dharma' has many meanings in a group like this, im using it in buddhist sense!) The confidence dive on my part was not toward my teacher's ability to teach, it was with my own ability to understand him. *but* that's probably why Lama Lodu was here too, to help clarify when things went foggy. So i kinda fell down, drowned, wallowed, went goofy, had anger rise, then love. Talk about the windmill of ripening goofiness! but... may all beings find happiness and the causes for happiness and have confidence in the Guru grow into true faith born of knowning without a doubt, not blindly, what is true. something like that. foggy thoughts on a monday, --janpa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 1999 Report Share Posted May 17, 1999 Hi janpa: Glad you are back. I guess we are fortunate that truth actually comes from the heart. I've spent the past year without an 'official' teacher and went through all sorts of mind games with myself regarding learning, what I would be missing, what was left to understand that I wouldn't, the emotional fall out was terrible. Only to discover that whatever I need is within and that the language of 'Guru' can always be understood if we take the time to be. Always so simple once we get there . Linda >Lama Lodu-la's english is much better then Khenpo-las to me. He's more >fluent. Khenpo-la's has improved much since i first met him, and at the >beginning i didnt really care about it. I'd met my friend from the past >and that was all i cared about. >This language thing got to me. I started doubting my Kalyanamitra, then >feeling awful that i was doing that. Then Lama Lodu taught the same thing >Khenpo-la had, and i realized that its the same dharma. (in the sense of >Buddhadharma, i know 'dharma' has many meanings in a group like this, im >using it in buddhist sense!) >The confidence dive on my part was not toward my teacher's ability to >teach, it was with my own ability to understand him. *but* that's probably >why Lama Lodu was here too, to help clarify when things went foggy. >So i kinda fell down, drowned, wallowed, went goofy, had anger rise, then >love. Talk about the windmill of ripening goofiness! >but... >may all beings find happiness and the causes for happiness and have >confidence in the Guru grow into true faith born of knowning without a >doubt, not blindly, what is true. >something like that. >foggy thoughts on a monday, --janpa ------ ONElist: the best source for group communications. Join a new list today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 1999 Report Share Posted May 17, 1999 On Mon, 17 May 1999, Linda Callanan wrote: > "Linda Callanan" <shastra > > Hi janpa: > > Glad you are back. I guess we are fortunate that truth actually comes from > the heart. I've spent the past year without an 'official' teacher and went > through all sorts of mind games with myself regarding learning, what I would > be missing, what was left to understand that I wouldn't, the emotional fall > out was terrible. Only to discover that whatever I need is within and that > the language of 'Guru' can always be understood if we take the time to be. > Always so simple once we get there . Rinpoche said something similar. Our teacher resides in Buddhamind, and that is always with us. So Guru is always with us too. however, yours truley very very easily forgets that --jt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 1999 Report Share Posted May 17, 1999 Hi Janpa -- it's been my experience that a big faith can't happen without a big doubt. I think the heart gets seasoned this way. H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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