remembering Hell

[Guest guest]

Outside a one room schoolhouse,

surrounded by oceans of waving grasses,

 

Teacher rings the bell,

calling the children living near and far.

 

As they encricle around Her

amongst the flowers of the field,

 

a wee one crawls out

from behind a thorny bush.

 

The children begin to rush around her,

but held back by Teacher's guiding arm,

 

as they give her space to breathe.

 

The wee one, choking on her silent tears

of terror, allowed her little body

to convey what words could not.

 

Surrounded by arms waiting to embrace her,

 

she allows a scream... a cry so deep, so full,

it was if someone were ripping away her heart.

 

And they did.

 

Not simply the heart that feels happy or sad,

that feels passion and fire...

 

It was so much more than a wounded heart.

 

It was a scream of separation.

 

You see...not only

had he taken her virginity.

 

He had taken away Santa Clause,

the Easter Bunny....and God.

 

All that was *Real*

was standing before her,

 

and he was telling her

to pull down her pants.

 

It was then she knew,

 

There was only Hell,

and nothing else.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

(I wasn't sure whether of not to

offer this to you, but decided to

post it for those who privately

shared from both lists they were

walking similar terrain.

 

My resistance to the Silence has been

made understandable today. Today I

realized that for most of my life, *Hell*

was what was Real, and God had become

only a fairytale fantasy.

 

I have hated Hell, yet I have been scared to

death to leave it.

 

I am also recognizing that by allowing

the 'wee one' to be me, I am also allowing

'the Devil' to be me, too. (And if this

follows a nondual 'script', I guess I'll soon

realize that none of this is 'Me', as well.

 

But I'm not there yet. Not today.)

 

Melody