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Hi everybody. I'm going to be off line for several weeks while I move from

Washington, D.C. to rural New Mexico. Like my relocation here from L.A. two

years ago, this move has that uncanny feeling of "being moved," riding some

sort of unseen wave beneath and around me. I was reading the other day about

how a caterpillar, in the cocoon on its way to moth-hood, goes through a

stage where it is totally liquid, without structure. My last 2 years have

felt very much like this kind of melting down while in a protected space. I

know many of you have heard me moan aloud from time to time and I admit the

pain has occasionally been fierce. A lot of the pain I've brought on myself

by not surrendering without a fight. The worst has been periods of

short-lived but intense apathy where nothing mattered, not even spirit. I

understand these to be some kind of slash and burn attachment severance.

 

The meltdown, at times, feels like nothing but loss. First, at the gross

level -- my career, locale, friends, family and so forth. Then, at the

personality level where it felt like a systematic roto-rootering was scouring

out my psyche, whereby every little scabby, grotty ego-holding floated up for

my attention. Actual people from way back in my past suddenly appeared in my

life to finish business. Very weird. The point of all this was to slowly

turn into nobody special. And at the same time become Everybody. And

frequently I know that I am All That Is. Recently I knew a corner had been

turned and it wasn't all about loss any more, but possibility. I don't know

what I would have done during this time without these lists. Thank you.

 

See you soon. Much love, Holly

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Hbarrett47 [Hbarrett47]

Wednesday, August 11, 1999 11:08 AM

; iam

moving along

 

Hbarrett47

 

Hi everybody. I'm going to be off line for several weeks while I move from

Washington, D.C. to rural New Mexico. Like my relocation here from L.A. two

years ago, this move has that uncanny feeling of "being moved," riding some

sort of unseen wave beneath and around me. I was reading the other day

about

how a caterpillar, in the cocoon on its way to moth-hood, goes through a

stage where it is totally liquid, without structure. My last 2 years have

felt very much like this kind of melting down while in a protected space. I

know many of you have heard me moan aloud from time to time and I admit the

pain has occasionally been fierce. A lot of the pain I've brought on myself

by not surrendering without a fight. The worst has been periods of

short-lived but intense apathy where nothing mattered, not even spirit. I

understand these to be some kind of slash and burn attachment severance.

 

The meltdown, at times, feels like nothing but loss. First, at the gross

level -- my career, locale, friends, family and so forth. Then, at the

personality level where it felt like a systematic roto-rootering was

scouring

out my psyche, whereby every little scabby, grotty ego-holding floated up

for

my attention. Actual people from way back in my past suddenly appeared in

my

life to finish business. Very weird. The point of all this was to slowly

turn into nobody special. And at the same time become Everybody. And

frequently I know that I am All That Is. Recently I knew a corner had been

turned and it wasn't all about loss any more, but possibility. I don't know

what I would have done during this time without these lists. Thank you.

 

See you soon. Much love, Holly

 

Thanks for letting us know Holly. This is a fellowship and you are a big

part of it. We hope all is well with you and offer you our prayers and best

wishes and support. See you back soon.

 

Harsha

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> Hi everybody. I'm going to be off line for several weeks while I move from

> Washington, D.C. to rural New Mexico. Like my relocation here from L.A. two

> years ago, this move has that uncanny feeling of "being moved," riding some

> sort of unseen wave beneath and around me. I was reading the other day

> about

> how a caterpillar, in the cocoon on its way to moth-hood, goes through a

> stage where it is totally liquid, without structure. My last 2 years have

> felt very much like this kind of melting down while in a protected space. I

> know many of you have heard me moan aloud from time to time and I admit the

> pain has occasionally been fierce. A lot of the pain I've brought on myself

> by not surrendering without a fight. The worst has been periods of

> short-lived but intense apathy where nothing mattered, not even spirit. I

> understand these to be some kind of slash and burn attachment severance.

>

> The meltdown, at times, feels like nothing but loss. First, at the gross

> level -- my career, locale, friends, family and so forth. Then, at the

> personality level where it felt like a systematic roto-rootering was

> scouring

> out my psyche, whereby every little scabby, grotty ego-holding floated up

> for

> my attention. Actual people from way back in my past suddenly appeared in

> my

> life to finish business. Very weird. The point of all this was to slowly

> turn into nobody special. And at the same time become Everybody. And

> frequently I know that I am All That Is. Recently I knew a corner had been

> turned and it wasn't all about loss any more, but possibility. I don't know

> what I would have done during this time without these lists. Thank you.

>

> See you soon. Much love, Holly

 

 

> Thanks for letting us know Holly. This is a fellowship and you are a big

> part of it. We hope all is well with you and offer you our prayers and best

> wishes and support. See you back soon.

>

> Harsha

 

 

Best to you, Holly. Beautiful New Mexico.

 

Love,

Jerry

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Hi Holly,

>Hi everybody. I'm going to be off line for several weeks while I move from

>Washington, D.C. to rural New Mexico.

 

Wonderful! If you haven't read Tony Hillerman's books, do look for them...

mysteries with Navajo cops and some Pueblos etc. I've learned a lot about

the native cultures from his books. He's been made an honorary Navajo, I

think.

 

I'm in San Antonio... if you ever get over this way, let me know! I

always have room for a couple of people, at least... more with sleeping

bags. :)

>Like my relocation here from L.A. two

>years ago, this move has that uncanny feeling of "being moved," riding some

>sort of unseen wave beneath and around me. I was reading the other day about

>how a caterpillar, in the cocoon on its way to moth-hood, goes through a

>stage where it is totally liquid, without structure. My last 2 years have

>felt very much like this kind of melting down while in a protected space. I

>know many of you have heard me moan aloud from time to time and I admit the

>pain has occasionally been fierce. A lot of the pain I've brought on myself

>by not surrendering without a fight. The worst has been periods of

>short-lived but intense apathy where nothing mattered, not even spirit. I

>understand these to be some kind of slash and burn attachment severance.

>

>The meltdown, at times, feels like nothing but loss. First, at the gross

>level -- my career, locale, friends, family and so forth. Then, at the

>personality level where it felt like a systematic roto-rootering was scouring

>out my psyche, whereby every little scabby, grotty ego-holding floated up for

>my attention. Actual people from way back in my past suddenly appeared in my

>life to finish business. Very weird. The point of all this was to slowly

>turn into nobody special. And at the same time become Everybody. And

>frequently I know that I am All That Is. Recently I knew a corner had been

>turned and it wasn't all about loss any more, but possibility.

 

Wonderful news! Wishing you the best in your new life...

 

Love and blessings,

Dharma

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In a message dated 8/11/1999 8:34:32 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

shastra writes:

 

<< "Linda Callanan" <shastra

 

Hello Holly,

 

Don't we love synchronization? I too am going 'off-line' for a while. My

move will take me from Orlando to upstate NY. This has been a long awaited

move for me and yet feels as if it is crashing into my life. Like yourself,

Fl has been a melt-down experience and I leave here as the same soul but

with a very different perspective.

 

Like Holly, this list has been important to me in these past few months

often appearing as a source of solace as well as a satsangh. I thank all

for being here.

 

Tomorrow I will go on no-mail until I am relocated. I hope that everyone

enjoys the rest of their summer and look forward to communicating again from

the cool, crisp hill tops of the New York State.

 

Namaste,

Linda

>>

Best wishes LInda. Florida is nice in the winter but New York State is great

in the summer. Good luck with the move. See you soon. Look forward to having

you with us again. One of the VIP spots will be waiting for you :--).

 

Harsha

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Hello Holly,

 

Don't we love synchronization? I too am going 'off-line' for a while. My

move will take me from Orlando to upstate NY. This has been a long awaited

move for me and yet feels as if it is crashing into my life. Like yourself,

Fl has been a melt-down experience and I leave here as the same soul but

with a very different perspective.

 

Like Holly, this list has been important to me in these past few months

often appearing as a source of solace as well as a satsangh. I thank all

for being here.

 

Tomorrow I will go on no-mail until I am relocated. I hope that everyone

enjoys the rest of their summer and look forward to communicating again from

the cool, crisp hill tops of the New York State.

 

Namaste,

Linda

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Dear Holly and Linda,

 

You both leave with my respect and my affection.

I always listened closely and with deep appreciation

for what you both offered here.

 

I look foward to your return.

 

May you walk in Joy.

 

Melody

 

 

At 08:31 PM 8/11/99 -0400, you wrote:

>"Linda Callanan" <shastra

>

>Hello Holly,

>

>Don't we love synchronization? I too am going 'off-line' for a while. My

>move will take me from Orlando to upstate NY. This has been a long awaited

>move for me and yet feels as if it is crashing into my life. Like yourself,

>Fl has been a melt-down experience and I leave here as the same soul but

>with a very different perspective.

>

>Like Holly, this list has been important to me in these past few months

>often appearing as a source of solace as well as a satsangh. I thank all

>for being here.

>

>Tomorrow I will go on no-mail until I am relocated. I hope that everyone

>enjoys the rest of their summer and look forward to communicating again from

>the cool, crisp hill tops of the New York State.

>

>Namaste,

>Linda

>

>

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>

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Hi Holly and Linda,

 

Making a new start is always worthwhile. Can't tell how many times I moved, must

be more then ten. Only two times emigrated... Movement only pertains to the body

:)

 

SYBS,

 

Jan

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