A meeting with Ramana

[Guest guest]

Professor N. R. Krishnamoorthy Aiyer (from the Maharshi Newsletters)

 

The next day we had a meeting with Bhagavan. This was about the time he

arrived at the present site of Sri Ramanasramam (1922). There were no

buildings at all, except for a small shed covering the samadhi (grave) of

the Mother.

 

Bhagavan was seated on a bench under the shade of a tree, and with him,

lying on the same bench, was the dog named Rose. Bhagavan was simply

stroking the dog.

I wondered, among us Brahmins the dog was such an animal that it would

defile all purity. A good part of my respect for the Maharshi left me when I

saw him touching that unclean animal - for all its apparent cleanliness and

neatness it was unclean from the Brahmin point of view.

 

I had a question for the Maharshi. At that time I was an agnostic. I thought

nature could take care of itself, so where is the need for a Creator? What

is the use of writing all these religious books telling 'cock and bull'

stories, which do not change the situation.

 

I wanted to put to him straight questions: is there a soul? Is there a God?

Is there salvation? All these three questions were condensed into one: Well

sir, you are sitting here like this - I can see your present condition - but

what will be your future sthiti ? The word sthiti in Sanskrit means 'state'

or 'condition'.

 

The Maharshi did not answer the question. "Oho," I thought, "you are taking

shelter under the guise of indifferent silence for not answering an

inconvenient question!" As soon as I thought this the Maharshi replied and I

felt as if a bomb had exploded under my seat.

"Sthiti, what do you mean by the word sthiti!" he exclaimed.

 

I was not prepared for that question. "Oho, this man is very dangerous, very

dangerously alive. I will have to answer with proper care," I thought.

So I said to myself, "If I ask him about the sthiti or 'state' of the body

it is useless: the body will be burned or buried. What I should ask him was

about the condition of something within the body. Of course, I can recognize

a mind inside of me." Then I was about to answer "By sthiti, I mean mind,"

when it struck me what if he counter-questions with "What is mind?" This I

am not prepared to answer.

 

As all this was passing through my mind he was sitting there staring at me

with a fierce look.

I then questioned within me, "What is mind? Mind is made up of thoughts.

Now, what are thoughts?" I landed in a void. No answer. I then realised that

I could not present a question about a mind which did not exist!

 

Up to that point, the mind was the greatest thing that existed for me. Now I

discovered it did not exist! I was bewildered. I simply sat like a statue.

 

Two pairs of eyes were then gripping each other: the eyes of the Maharshi

and my eyes were locked together in a tight embrace. I lost all sense of

body. Nothing existed except the eyes of the Maharshi.

 

I don't know how long I remained like that, but when I returned to my

senses, I was terribly afraid of the man. "This is a dangerous man," I

thought. In spite of myself, I prostrated and got away from his company.