Gravity Illusion? :-)

[Guest guest]

Hi all .. I just gotta share this little gem exchange from ZenBob that he posted

on a list I moderate ~

He is so funny! It was in answer to a Jacquesly post there ~ I am sure Bob won't

mind me sharing his creative wit!

 

:-) Enjoy ~ (actually he adores animals)

 

 

ZEN2WRK

 

In a message dated 10/8/99 1:57:52 PM Pacific Daylight Time, jdsetls

writes:

 

<< Hello,

 

One idea is hovering : antigravity... ?

 

Now, before telling it is impossible, try

to imagine a simple solution.

 

For example think over that :

 

- Whatever the heigth of its fall, a cat

always falls down on its paws.

- According to Murphy's law, a buttered slice

of bread always falls on the buttered side.

 

Now, imagine you tie a buttered slice of bread

on the back of a cat.

 

If you throw the cat... now you have antigravity.

 

For it neither can fall on its paws nor on the

buttered side of the bread, without breaking

a law.

 

So a Nobel Prize is up for grabs.

 

Greetings from my crank laboratory,

 

Froggy (toady ?) Jacques

 

_ >>

My Dear Brilliant Jacques:

 

I too have duplicated this brilliant, nay, genius work in my own advanced,

yet scary laboratory. After many years of testing prototypes I finally went

for the final working model this week!

 

Since Lightning, famous Lynx-Manx cross and mate to the illustrious

neighborhood "Big Head Kitty" had a litter of four kittens, which needed

taming and cuddling in any case...I selected them for the breakthrough work.

 

Inside the lab I carefully toasted whole wheat, multi-grain bread, buttered

it freshly with real butter, prewarmed so as to aid the spreading procedure

and then firmly affixed to the back of the kittens with Velcro straps. I

kept these minimized so as to not interfere with the known baselines of the

experiment.

 

I tossed the kittens in the air.

 

Amazingly, every predicted model was verified! They neither feel upon their

paws or landed on their backs!

Instead, just as you guessed, they grabbed rafters overhead and clung to

them, crying piteously.

 

Their mother, who had not been secured prior to the great experiment rushed

in, knocked me about the lab, with little regard or respect for my monumental

work, and promptly devoured the toast on the backs of her kittens and led

them out of the lab, on their little kitten feet, quickly to vanish beneath

the house.

 

I am now working on a device to launch them much higher. It will work only

outdoors and use large levers and fulcrums to hurl the kittens or cats into

the far and high distance. I just need to come up with a good name for this

cat hurling device.

 

Maybe you or others might suggest a few names. "Cat a Toss?"

 

"Hurl a Cat?" "Cataramp?" "Cat mortar?" "Cat-a-totter?"

 

I give up.

 

 

Blessings,

Love,

 

Zenbob