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<<

And each day people, (or is it only me?), seem to find sacredness in

life, a bit more, come back in a soft flow. It is there to pick up at

each moment. It seems only our imagination, and the memory that comes

from it, limits us from touching it Totally.

 

I love You Anna Maria,

 

Antoine

>>

I took this dumb blonde role as my own very young,

and when i walk through the office I smile so much, I wonder if they

think sometimes I am simply simple-minded ... and that is okay :-)

 

If i am too open with men then i have too many requests for dates...

so, i have not been able to figure this out, how to be open without

inviting... because then sometimes i wound their egos, and this i do not

wish to do either ... this is a dance that i have trouble with ... so, i used

to date alot but everyone wanted to marry, and i would think but we've

only dated a month or two, how could you know this ... so, i stopped

being as open and stopped so much dating, also, to be honest, it's some-

times boring I'd rather be home with my music, painting, flowers,

meditating and a good book.

 

So, if i am completely open and vulnerable and say "I love you" to

someone in the office, they say, "great, show me."

 

Yesterday, we had a meeting on peace. The Dalai Lama has been

invited to sit on the Board of Directors of the Earth Core for Peace and

Wayne James, a really wonderful guy, like a brother to me, was there,

he just won the International Humanitarian Award for Peace, (almost

like the Nobel Prize) in Paris. I was so happy I threw my arms around

him and gave him a big hug (he has started a monument to the blacks

who came across the ocean). And he gave me a cd he has made to

honor the slaves, (he's a lawyer and some of you may know him as an

international designer, he's a rather multitalented young man) ... and then

he asked me out. And, instantly i thought, "oh, damn, now we've crossed

that stupid bridge again."

 

Because I really want Wayne to be in my life, like a brother, he is truly

brilliant and full of integrity, but i do not wish him as a lover ... so, i

don't

want to harm our open friendship ... this for me is very, very sad, i

really love some of the men I know as brothers ... and I want to be able

to be very close and share the stories of our hearts ... i am embarrassed

to post this and i sit here and look and think it looks of ego, but truly it

is a request to tell me how do i be open and share without invitation...

so, I keep walls.

 

For some reason this all reminds me of my grandmother, she was very

generous, it also reminds me of a Gurudev i met last summer, he

gave me an energetic healing and some meditations, and his spirit was

so beautiful i wanted just to crawl inside his energy field and just sit there

and feel the love emanating from his spirit, and there were i don't know

how many women there effected the same way, they were all half in

love with him simply because his energy was so beautiful, there are many

on this list like that, very open and pure, very beautiful, I think I'm in

love with the whole list, see Harsha what you are causing?

 

I remember once being at a doctor's (there are alot of these in my family

so, i'm less impressed than most with titles, and my father gave up his

noble titles intentionally which was one of the things i adored most about

him his love of equality) so, anyway to stop digressing, the doctor told how

he had adopted his daughter and he didn't want the daughter to find her

birth parents. And, I thought, "how stupid is that?" Love is not pie, it

isn't empty or gone when given, rather it is like a seed that blooms to a

flower and makes more seeds to create yet more flowers.

 

Yet, I confess, there are different forms of love for me, like different

colors of rays coming through a holographic sculpture, and I have been

deeply examining my attachment to these "forms" and this is still in

evolution ... and i don't know the answers, perhaps you all would like

to help me look at this question?

 

I love You Antoine,

Anna Maria

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In a message dated 10/24/99 11:05:32 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Hbarrett47 writes:

 

<< You nailed it in your wonderful, customary way, Antoine! I've been trying

to

see what happens during the detachment process and I've realized that all

the

previous attachments get redirected toward Life as a Whole. >>

 

 

Then is would seem that it's all a matter of refocusing? Like when a child

wants something that it sees, but it shouldn't have it, we try to present

something that is better for it to take its attention away from the

undesirable object. Blessings - Annmarie

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In a message dated 10/24/1999 1:09:22 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

Womanwise2 writes:

 

<<

Then is would seem that it's all a matter of refocusing? Like when a child

wants something that it sees, but it shouldn't have it, we try to present

something that is better for it to take its attention away from the

undesirable object. Blessings - Annmarie

>>

That's an interesting perspective. Perhaps it is like flowers, some thrive

in some soils and with some varying degrees of water, like a Lily or a

Lotus or a Rose, but they are all beautiful, and some thrive better in

different climates than others.

 

In the winter, I have Amaryllis, I let them die back now, they go to

the basement, and when the Christmas decorations and lights come

down, I bring the Amaryllis up from the basement and in the deep of

winter I have a living room full of Jungle huge blossoms, they are some

of them larger than a hand, in all colors. Then when they stop blooming

the daffodils of spring have begun to bloom, so, then I get to have

flowers the whole year... love is like this for me, I am desirious with it,

I wish to float all the time in love, since my kundalini has been very

high this weekend, i get to float in this bliss of love, even though it

makes me look rather silly with this big smile all the time.

 

L*L*L

Anna Maria

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> Womanwise2

>

> This is really so beautiful. I would love to be able to love such as this.

> I suffer from tremendous stress and many times it pours into my daily

> communion with others. I have much to learn...Annmarie S. (Not the same one

> as mentioned in message below)

 

The waltz between what we unlearn and learn is often a tango, until

there comes to be no difference between simply walking and enjoying a

movie sitting.

 

"That consciousness which illumines the exterior is called Shivatattva,

whereas the individual feeling as "I" is Shaktitattva - Tripurarahasya,

XIV, 61"

http://www.hubcom.com:80/magee/tantra/mrit.htm

 

How does Shaktitattva holds her partner Shivatattva, to take other

words, as she dances, may create the lightning bolts felt a stress or a

soft caress of the sun on the skin.

 

All form of dance is beautiful, for deep "someplace" we are both shiva

and shakti.

 

Enjoy the dance,

 

Antoine

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>

>And i look at him touching the limits of his own imagination. Sometimes

>i will tell him: "i smile because i love you" or "because i love my job"

>or "because it is sunny", etc... And we laugh.

>

>And each day people, (or is it only me?), seem to find sacredness in

>life, a bit more, come back in a soft flow. It is there to pick up at

>each moment.

 

 

I need only read your name of my screen anymore,

Antoine, to be reminded of the sacredness of life, and

to step back into that soft flow when I have forgotten

it.

 

It has taken me a while, but finally I understand

the value of Satsangh. Thank you for showering

me with your stillness and love.

 

>It seems only our imagination, and the memory that comes

>from it, limits us from touching it Totally.

 

 

These words seem to sing over and over into my ear like windchimes thru a

morning breeze.

 

When I listen closely enough, I become the morning breeze.

 

Love,

Melody

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On Sun, 24 Oct 1999 13:08:31 EDT Womanwise2 writes:

> Womanwise2

>

> In a message dated 10/24/99 11:05:32 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

> Hbarrett47 writes:

>

> << You nailed it in your wonderful, customary way, Antoine! I've

> been trying

> to

> see what happens during the detachment process and I've realized

> that all

> the

> previous attachments get redirected toward Life as a Whole. >>

>

>

> Then is would seem that it's all a matter of refocusing?

 

Not really, because

refocusing is intentional

and this is as spontaneous

as love-at-first-sight.

When attachment ends, the

energy expended on it

becomes freely available

to embrace a universe of

universes in their

immeasurable totality. It

is the death of suffering

and rebirth into wholeness.

> Like when a child

> wants something that it sees, but it shouldn't have it, we try to

> present

> something that is better for it to take its attention away from the

> undesirable object. Blessings - Annmarie

>

There is no "undesirable

object," it is attachment

that incurs suffering.

 

 

http://come.to/realization

http://www.users.uniserve.com/~samuel/brucemrg.htm

http://www.users.uniserve.com/~samuel/brucsong.htm

_

 

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In a message dated 10/24/1999 1:46:24 PM Atlantic Daylight Time,

RainboLily writes:

 

<< For some reason this all reminds me of my grandmother, she was very

generous, it also reminds me of a Gurudev i met last summer, he

gave me an energetic healing and some meditations, and his spirit was

so beautiful i wanted just to crawl inside his energy field and just sit

there

and feel the love emanating from his spirit, and there were i don't know

how many women there effected the same way, they were all half in

love with him simply because his energy was so beautiful, there are many

on this list like that, very open and pure, very beautiful, I think I'm in

love with the whole list, see Harsha what you are causing? >>

 

You wrote a long and a sensitive post Rainbo. Your posts often are difficult

to respond to as they challenge others to be equally open spiritually,

vulnerable, and compassionate enough to explore deeply the issues of life. So

when Antoine responds to you, it is simply music to our ears I think. As I

muddle through life an occasional song of innocence and purity is nice to

hear and for that I am grateful. I hear that song more often since I started

this list. Many years ago, I was speaking to my Gurudev's secretary on the

phone. She is a retired school teacher in her 70s and her name in Sanskrit

means "motherly love." I told her that I sometimes missed the old days when I

hung around the meditation center and walked my teacher back to his apartment

after his lectures. It is the satsanga that I missed I told her. All those

lovely people and beautiful vibrations. So as we were speaking she said, "You

will create your own satsangha Harshadeva (my initiated name). And we

laughed. Well, so here we are. It is a Satsangha. The physical presence may

not be there but the mental atmosphere is there and for that I am grateful.

At some point, there might be a physical presence and structure as well.

Ideas are always in the subtle realm before materializing in the physical.

The current has its own flow. We are along for the ride :-).

 

Love to all

Harsha

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Bruce Morgen <editor

 

Not really, because

refocusing is intentional

and this is as spontaneous

as love-at-first-sight.

When attachment ends, the

energy expended on it

becomes freely available

to embrace a universe of

universes in their

immeasurable totality. It

is the death of suffering

and rebirth into wholeness.

>Like when a child

>wants something that it sees, but it shouldn't have it, we try to

>present

>something that is better for it to take its attention away from the

>undesirable object. Blessings - Annmarie

>

There is no "undesirable

object," it is attachment

that incurs suffering.

 

Brilliant Sir! Scriptures tell us that pain and pleasure are twins.

Attachment to one implies attachment to the other. Both have their source in

the mind. What is the source of the mind, ask the wise?

 

A

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In a message dated 10/24/1999 7:53:35 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

HarshaIMTM writes:

 

<<

You wrote a long and a sensitive post Rainbo. Your posts often are difficult

to respond to as they challenge others to be equally open spiritually,

vulnerable, and compassionate enough to explore deeply the issues of life >>

 

You may once again thank Antoine, who challenged me, but i am

bored with me :-) ... soft, gentle, smile, ... yes, response is like

music ... thank you Harsha for this beautiful space ... the Sun shines

gloriously today, carresing my skin like warm honey as i sit and write

this morning.

 

Wrote a post to a Jung List, which is a tenemos fire circle, Mercurian,

on the home for traumatized children we are seeking to build here,

as part of the Earth Peace Core ... the wind, the sword of air cut through

the air and entered the life blood, the waters, of compassion.

 

Maureen, who heads a center for schizophrenics in Australia offered

to help me, and i was touched by the brilliance of air, entering the

waters of compassion... like a dove riding the waves, and gently

stroked its wings and became the passion of compassion, the

with-passion, com-passion, where one enters and merges with one

in need and becomes centered in understanding the depths of

the collective ocean of bliss and sorrow ... so beautiful to begin

this day with such ... the passion of compassion ... in healing others

we are healed..

 

Bruce, thank you for your brilliant response, there is nothing to add

to what you wrote except heartfelt gratitude.

 

Mira, umm, "ambi-guous" "ambi-valent" "ambi-dextrous"

eternal abyss... eternal canyons ... eternal life ... internal fear ...

versus eternal love :-)

 

Antoine, as usual you leave me speechless, and i fly like a dove

whose heart beats too fast, may i land on a twig of the tree, will

you hold the dove gently?

 

With Eternal Gratitude for Compassion,

~ moi ~

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In a message dated 10/24/99 9:11:16 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

ashokaraja writes:

 

<< Not really, because

refocusing is intentional

and this is as spontaneous

as love-at-first-sight. >>

 

Actually the child's reaction may be spontaneous, but the parents attempt to

change the childs focus is very deliberate.

 

Metta, Annmarie

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RainboLily wrote:

> Antoine, as usual you leave me speechless, and i fly like a dove

> whose heart beats too fast, may i land on a twig of the tree, will

> you hold the dove gently?

>

> With Eternal Gratitude for Compassion,

> ~ moi ~

 

Like water holds a fish i will be your air gentle dove.

 

Antoine

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<< Antoine <carrea

 

RainboLily wrote:

> i fly like a dove

> whose heart beats too fast, may i land on a twig of the tree, will

> you hold the dove gently?

>

Love,

Anna Maria

 

Like water holds a fish i will be your air gentle dove.

 

Antoine

>>

 

I love You Anna Maria,

 

Antoine

 

I love You Antoine

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