Thanks to you all

[Guest guest]

Thanks Dharma and Gloria for writing me and supporting me for the mistake I

made earlier about mixing up some stuff. Harsha feels it is no big deal

also. You are all wonderful. I guess we are all human. This morning I was

thinking that everyone has both good and bad in them. Some people bring out

the good in us and some people bring out our negative stuff - the anger and

even hatred. We all have to work on the negative stuff of course. I like

being with people who bring out my good side, because it feels much more

more pleasant to me. Of course, I have compassion for people who are stupid

and destructive. But I don't like to hang around them or pretend that I like

what they do. For example, I don't like hanging around smokers or people who

drink. Even though, some very nice people I know do that. To give you an

example, a bunch of people I know, very good people, invited me to a party.

They are nice people but I know what happens at their parties. Boozing and

smoking and wild dancing and stuff. I don't need that. Well dancing is o.k.

but I can do that at home. So I lied and said that I am working on a special

project over the weekend. I felt bad about lying, but I felt good about not

having to go there. I am getting too old to do things that I don't like and

go places I don't want to go. Still, I have to make compromises, like we all

do at times. I know I like feeling good and so I seek that environment and

people who will support that good feeling and avoid those situations which

are counter productive. Any way, that is my philosophy of life in a

nutshell.

 

A

[Guest guest]

Hi Ashoka,

>This morning I was thinking that everyone has both good and bad in them.

>Some people bring out the good in us and some people bring out our

>negative stuff - the anger and even hatred. We all have to work on the

>negative stuff of course. I like being with people who bring out my good

>side, because it feels much more more pleasant to me. Of course, I have

>compassion for people who are stupid and destructive. But I don't like to

>hang around them or pretend that I like what they do.

 

That makes sense.

> For example, I don't like hanging around smokers or people who drink.

>Even though, some very nice people I know do that. To give you an example,

>a bunch of people I know, very good people, invited me to a party. They

>are nice people but I know what happens at their parties. Boozing and

>smoking and wild dancing and stuff. I don't need that.

 

I smoke, Asoka. Does that mean I'm stupid and destructive? I think it's

best for each of us to make our decisions about such things and let other

people make theirs. I know I don't appreciate people telling me what I

should do, as if they understand better than I do what's right for me. But

I certainly understand people who are allergic to smoke or just don't want

to be exposed to it... and I never mind going outdoors or to a special

room to smoke. When I have people at my house and I think there may be

anyone who doesn't want to be exposed to smoke, I clean the house as well

as possible and then restrict smoking to one closed-off room... or even

outdoors in good weather. In the US many people do that now... it isn't

at all unusual to go to a party where there's no smoke, except outdoors or

in one room. Actually, I appreciate it myself... for years I was allergic

to cigarette smoke myself (I don't smoke cigarettes). When you're invited

to a party, you could always ask, "Will there be smoking?"

 

I hardly ever drink anything alcoholic since I have active K., but I'm not

a teetotaler. ) I might enjoy a good glass of wine, though usually I'd

rather have a Coke or ice water. But you don't have to drink at a party

where some other people are drinking. Just ask for a soft drink or juice

or ice water... you might be surprised at how many other people have

non-alcoholic drinks.

 

Some of the people who do drink are doing it to loosen their inhibitions so

they can talk to other people and really open up. They don't have active

K. and they don't know another way to loosen the inhibitions... and that's

one of the first effects of alcohol. You might enjoy talking to some of

them if you don't care what's in their glasses.

 

I'm not suggesting you change or do anything you don't want to do... just

offering some things to think about.

 

Love,

Dharma

[Guest guest]

>Dharma <fisher1

>

>I smoke, Asoka. Does that mean I'm stupid and destructive?

 

 

No Dharma. Not at all. I was simply giving an example. At my age, I

accomodate others less and less, that is all I was saying. Yes, I don't like

to be around smokers or drinkers (only when they are smoking or drinking

though). Also, if a beautiful woman smokes, she appears less attractive to

me due to my prejudice. I think of her bad breath and stuff. Yuk! Yuk! I

hope that is not offensive to anyone and I apologize if it is.

 

You are right that those are personal decisions Dharma and I respect that.

There was a Sadhu in India, and he used to smoke a Bidi (an indian

unfiltered cigrette) before going into Samadhi. He used to say that Shiva

smoked Ganja (hashish) so it was o.k for him as well. His followers did not

object. By the way, he only smoked one cigrette and then went into Samadhi.

He was not a chain smoker.

 

Smoking is a tough habit to break. Tougher than heroine, I have heard. I

feel a lot of compassion for smokers. I used to smoke and was able to quit

25 years ago. I am pretty happy about that. Some people love smoking and

that is fine with me. Some smokers lead active lives and I am sure are very

happy. Its not for me Dharma. I respect you despite your smoking. You are

incredibly bright and intelligent. Anyway, smoking pertains only to the body

and not the soul. Some Yoga Shastras do say that we should pay attention to

the body. All of us have our likes, dislikes, preferences and prejudices.

I have my share as well.

 

In humility

A