Guest guest Posted January 1, 2000 Report Share Posted January 1, 2000 Om Namah Sivaya All, The last three weeks or so have been probably the most important in my life! Well for all my study of Adwaita I was taken by surprise. By what? By my residual, erstwhile attachment to Sai Baba. With all the fuss about his materialisations being somewhat phony, contradictory statements, and alleged sexual improprieties; I became fed up. I cannot explain some of the obvious 'strange', happenings except by Yogic Siddhis. (He has been 'tricking', but I have enough evidence of powers such as bilocation, astral travel etc etc, perhaps he is conserving his vital energy sheath.) I had already read myself to the river so to speak so a Guru was now superflous. However the last few weeks have been like a nervous breakdown, maybe it was! First: Disbelief: Although I kind of knew about the conjuring: The sexual allegations, yet unproved, worried me for that may indicate desires. Why this is happening; I don't know but the end result is good for me. Second: Anger: At myself for investing 15 years, and at those messengers that brought the bad news. Sorry David et al! I even became vulgar and abusive, and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or what. In the end I did both, much to the consternation of my wife. I was shocked at myself, and my reaction and it took some effort to get hold of myself. Deep meditations in fact. I suppose it was all a cathartic safety-valve. I had family problems on joining Sai Baba, estrangements etc, plus my business practices were finished and total lost income is probably well over the million dollars or so. I had already come from a disastrous life with, religious disappointment and betrayal, early deaths, alcoholism and abuse etc. Luckily, except for a couple of near misses my wife stuck by me during this fifteen years, although she was never a Sai Devotee. She almost had a nervous breakdown herself, never mind me. Luckily for my own sanity I was more on the Jnana rather than the pure bhakti path.( I feel very sorry for the devastating effect this will all have on pure devotee-devotees. Their only defence is total disbelief and pure believer syndrome). Also I had already walked out of my centre due to the fact that the officers didn't take any notice of Sai Bab's instructions on integration of local religion and language. I just got fed up with the segregation and being the 'token white-man', singing in Sanskrit. It was all too intransigent and rather prejudiced for me, in the end. However I can thank them for being the start of my weaning off Sai Baba. Also the tales of financial corruption and some untoward activities in the organisation, including murders, disappointed me also. Although that is all too human. How far away from Sai Baba this is, I don't know. Who and what and why? Sai Baba is? Well I don't know, and I don't think it really matters it is for those that enjoy and wish to live in the dream. However the experience was not really all bad. It fed an interest in Vedanta that led me to Ramana Maharshi and Nisargadatta Maharaj, Sankara etc. I also was interested in and enjoyed singing bhajans in Sanskrit, and learning all I did about Hinduism from the centre-level, which is fundamentalist and superstitious, almost, right up to Adwaita Vedanta. It was a psychological support for a damaged personality. My experience of Sai Baba personally has only been positive. So for me, he did his job! It is only my ego that is disappointed. Perhaps this is the plan of transference back to my own Self! So now the last part of the journey is, now that I am on the river bank, to swim across by myself. Go within my man! Go within! Be a spiritual aspirant! There are no Avatars only the Self…! That is where you were all the time you silly, distracted man! But you already knew this, yet you took a painful road again. Thank you Sai Baba and goodbye, and goodbye brothers and sisters in Sai-Org. Om Namah Sivaya-----Aham Brahmasmi!! Love Tony. ===== Keep on truckin-Chant the Gayatri! Breathe So----Ham! ASATHO MA SATH GAMAYA, From the unreal lead me to the real, THAMASO MA JYOTHIR GAMAYA, From darkness, lead me to light, MRITHYOR MA AMRITAM GAMAYA.From death, lead me to immortality. OM, SHANTI SHANTI SHANTI. Om, Peace Peace Peace. Talk to your friends online with Messenger. http://messenger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2000 Report Share Posted January 2, 2000 Dear Tony, Thank you, I feel privileged that you shared something as deep and personal and intimate as this. Did anything in particular set it off, or was it a steady accumulation of stuff? About 3 years ago, the same kind of thing happened to a very good friend of mine (she returned to Christianity after 4 years with Sai Baba. She is now very happy in church). I wish you well in your study of advaita vedanta or whatever draws you from here on. I think I can take the liberty of speaking for many others on the HarshaList, that if there's anything you need that we can help with, we're here for you, brother! With lots of love, OM! and Gassho, --Greg At 03:41 PM 1/1/00 -0800, Tony O'Clery wrote: >Tony O'Clery <aoclery > > >Om Namah Sivaya All, > >The last three weeks or so have been probably the most >important in my life! .... >again. Thank you Sai Baba and goodbye, and goodbye >brothers and sisters in Sai-Org. Om Namah >Sivaya-----Aham Brahmasmi!! > >Love Tony. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2000 Report Share Posted January 2, 2000 Thankyou Tony for this beautiful moving heartfelt post. What a life, what a world, what wonder-full people. love, andrew > At 03:41 PM 1/1/00 -0800, Tony O'Clery wrote: > >Tony O'Clery <aoclery > > > > > >Om Namah Sivaya All, > > > >The last three weeks or so have been probably the most > >important in my life! > > ... > > >again. Thank you Sai Baba and goodbye, and goodbye > >brothers and sisters in Sai-Org. Om Namah > >Sivaya-----Aham Brahmasmi!! > > > >Love Tony. > > > All paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights, perceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and subside back into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not different than the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the nature of Awareness. Awareness does not come and go but is always Present. It is Home. Home is where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart to be the Finality of Eternal Being. A true devotee relishes in the Truth of Self-Knowledge, spontaneously arising from within into It Self. Welcome all to a. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2000 Report Share Posted January 2, 2000 Dear Tony: Thank you for sharing a chapter of your journey. My heart is with yours as I had a very similar experience. A friend once told me (she had experienced the same journey with the same teacher as my self) that she was told that some teachers are simply bus drivers. Unfortunately, the driver dropped off lots of baggage when we reached to bus stop. Give yourself time to get rid of all the baggage...it makes the rest of the journey much lighter . Best wishes to you and your very understanding wife. Namaste, Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2000 Report Share Posted January 2, 2000 I know some people that are big Sai Baba fans. What is the scoop? What is all the negative stuff that has come out. Is he a dishonest fake? Love, neo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2000 Report Share Posted January 2, 2000 Dear Tony, I am sure many of us here have been thru similar experiences. To me, it is helpful to look at this like a divorce. I try to remember the good and still be grateful for the good results, like my children. While recognizing it is ok to move on, and your feelings will balance out in time. This is a good time to remember that nothing is permanent and life is about going with the flow of change. And you know Sai Baba WAS right for you at the time, these relationships are not mistakes but learning experiences,despite whatever hurt or disillusionment you are feeling now. Tony, all I can say is be kind with yourself..just look at whatever anger or bad feelings are coming up very carefully and you will be able to understand. With love, Glo >Greg Goode <goode > >Dear Tony, > >Thank you, I feel privileged that you shared something as deep and personal >and intimate as this. Did anything in particular set it off, or was it a >steady accumulation of stuff? About 3 years ago, the same kind of thing >happened to a very good friend of mine (she returned to Christianity after >4 years with Sai Baba. She is now very happy in church). > >I wish you well in your study of advaita vedanta or whatever draws you from >here on. I think I can take the liberty of speaking for many others on the >HarshaList, that if there's anything you need that we can help with, we're >here for you, brother! > >With lots of love, > >OM! and Gassho, > >--Greg > >At 03:41 PM 1/1/00 -0800, Tony O'Clery wrote: >>Tony O'Clery <aoclery >> >> >>Om Namah Sivaya All, >> >>The last three weeks or so have been probably the most >>important in my life! > >... > >>again. Thank you Sai Baba and goodbye, and goodbye >>brothers and sisters in Sai-Org. Om Namah >>Sivaya-----Aham Brahmasmi!! >> >>Love Tony. > >>All paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights, perceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and subside back into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not different than the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the nature of Awareness. Awareness does not come and go but is always Present. It is Home. Home is where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart to be the Finality of Eternal Being. A true devotee relishes in the Truth of Self-Knowledge, spontaneously arising from within into It Self. Welcome all to a. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.