Still getting over Sai Baba.

[Guest guest]

Namaste All,

 

Well I'm almost sane again , feeling like I used to,

after 15 years with the Sai Baba thing? However I

notice that I am still a little dysfunctional. I have

exhausted some stuff by posting on another site, it is

a safety-valve. However the impressions on the mind

are deep, and necessitate vigilance of thought. I

have replaced my mantra with another I used

secondarily: It seems easier to replace a thought

than erase it, which isn't possible. It is a real

push to me though, to feel more the 'formless',

though there are still things to work through. I have

some guilt for influencing others and there are other

negative emotions as well. I'm afraid I was

suffering from, 'true believer syndrome'.

 

I now have to wonder 'who' this was all happening to

and why? Who had this experience who suffered this

pain? How these concepts could hurt another concept?

However after some weeks my meditation seems to be

getting back to normal and I am happy about that. But

something wakes me from it, perhaps because I like it

there. It is a great lesson in that the mind takes it

own path and goes its own way. If one identifies with

that then one feels that. More observing the mind is

in order, but that is the difficulty and there are

still the samskaras from this experience.

 

My feelings about Sai Baba run from resentment to some

extent, to wishing to forgive for my hurt, but his

activity still continues. I suppose I am trying to

let go of residual attachments/samskaras. I have to

rise above it all! This it seems I have to work

through but not become to attached to it. At least I

didn't think he was God separate from myself, my

aspiring adwaitin/jnani path must have saved me from

worse damage. I feel so sorry about the

devotees/bhaktas. I was 15 years in a mental jail

without sentence, a surprise lesson on the mind and

its vagaries. Who am I? And who did this happen to?

Who received this pain?

 

Love and Om Namah Sivaya….Tony.

 

 

=====

Keep on truckin-Chant the Gayatri! Breathe So----Ham!

 

 

ASATHO MA SATH GAMAYA, From the unreal lead me to the real,

THAMASO MA JYOTHIR GAMAYA, From darkness, lead me to light,

MRITHYOR MA AMRITAM GAMAYA.From death, lead me to immortality.

OM, SHANTI SHANTI SHANTI. Om, Peace Peace Peace.

 

 

Talk to your friends online with Messenger.

http://im.

[Guest guest]

Hello Tony:

 

 

>However I notice that I am still a little dysfunctional. I have

>exhausted some stuff by posting on another site, it is

>a safety-valve. However the impressions on the mind

>are deep, and necessitate vigilance of thought. I

>have replaced my mantra with another I used

>secondarily:

 

As you may be aware I went through a very similar situation about 18 months

ago it affected me on many levels of being. Unfortunately, I was locked

into business with the 'teacher' and am still working on fixing up the

financial mess. However, the 'dysfunctional' feelings are gone now and I

see that the true dysfunction was happening in that relationship I have

never been more functional in this life than I am at this point. I too,

replaced the mantra that I had used and once I replaced it I was able to

shift the energy in a more expedient manner. For myself though, a period

of trial and error ensued and it is only now that I am once again firm in

certain mantras. What I find now is that the proper mantras will just

appear in my life and interestingly they are totally different from the

mantras that I used with the old group.

> I have some guilt for influencing others and there are other

>negative emotions as well. I'm afraid I was

>suffering from, 'true believer syndrome'.

 

I was the senior teacher in this group and brought many people into the

group. In the beginning I felt some guilt and remorse but came to see that

if we truly trust in the process of the soul as long as a seeker is sincere

in their 'practice' and intent on truth they, like yourself, will be fine.

>My feelings about Sai Baba run from resentment to some

>extent, to wishing to forgive for my hurt, but his

>activity still continues. I suppose I am trying to

>let go of residual attachments/samskaras. I have to

>rise above it all! This it seems I have to work

>through but not become to attached to it. At least I

>didn't think he was God separate from myself, my

>aspiring adwaitin/jnani path must have saved me from

>worse damage. I feel so sorry about the

>devotees/bhaktas. I was 15 years in a mental jail

>without sentence, a surprise lesson on the mind and

>its vagaries. Who am I? And who did this happen to?

>Who received this pain?

 

Tony please give yourself the proper time to let all of the feelings surface

as they truly can not be rushed in the validation of the feelings you will

find how invalid they are to your spirit. You will learn great amounts of

detachment from this part of your journey and see many parts of your

ego/mind....perhaps in the end you will discover that the best teachings

came from the worst of Sai Baba. For eight years I had almost daily contact

with my old teacher often for hours at a time and to this day I can still

experience feelings of hurt and resentment but now I am detached from those

feelings. The main difficulty I experience is that so much energy work was

done by him that there are still times when I feel him thinking about me and

will need to do some clearing at those times. The relationship you

experienced was complex but when you come out on the other side of this you

will find how little complexity there is left within you.

 

Carry on in peace and love.

 

Namaste,

Linda

 

Love and Om Namah Sivaya....Tony.

 

 

=====

Keep on truckin-Chant the Gayatri! Breathe So----Ham!

 

 

ASATHO MA SATH GAMAYA, From the unreal lead me to the real,

THAMASO MA JYOTHIR GAMAYA, From darkness, lead me to light,

MRITHYOR MA AMRITAM GAMAYA.From death, lead me to immortality.

OM, SHANTI SHANTI SHANTI. Om, Peace Peace Peace.

 

 

Talk to your friends online with Messenger.

http://im.

 

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------

 

All paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights,

perceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and subside

back into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not different than

the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the nature of Awareness.

Awareness does not come and go but is always Present. It is Home. Home is

where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart to be the Finality of Eternal

Being. A true devotee relishes in the Truth of Self-Knowledge, spontaneously

arising from within into It Self. Welcome all to a.

[Guest guest]

Linda Callanan wrote:

> "Linda Callanan" <shastra

>

> Hello Tony:

>

> >However I notice that I am still a little dysfunctional. I have

> >exhausted some stuff by posting on another site, it is

> >a safety-valve. However the impressions on the mind

> >are deep, and necessitate vigilance of thought. I

> >have replaced my mantra with another I used

> >secondarily:

>

> As you may be aware I went through a very similar situation about 18 months

> ago it affected me on many levels of being. Unfortunately, I was locked

> into business with the 'teacher' and am still working on fixing up the

> financial mess. However, the 'dysfunctional' feelings are gone now and I

> see that the true dysfunction was happening in that relationship I have

> never been more functional in this life than I am at this point. I too,

> replaced the mantra that I had used and once I replaced it I was able to

> shift the energy in a more expedient manner. For myself though, a period

> of trial and error ensued and it is only now that I am once again firm in

> certain mantras. What I find now is that the proper mantras will just

> appear in my life and interestingly they are totally different from the

> mantras that I used with the old group.

>

> > I have some guilt for influencing others and there are other

> >negative emotions as well. I'm afraid I was

> >suffering from, 'true believer syndrome'.

>

> I was the senior teacher in this group and brought many people into the

> group. In the beginning I felt some guilt and remorse but came to see that

> if we truly trust in the process of the soul as long as a seeker is sincere

> in their 'practice' and intent on truth they, like yourself, will be fine.

>

> >My feelings about Sai Baba run from resentment to some

> >extent, to wishing to forgive for my hurt, but his

> >activity still continues. I suppose I am trying to

> >let go of residual attachments/samskaras. I have to

> >rise above it all! This it seems I have to work

> >through but not become to attached to it. At least I

> >didn't think he was God separate from myself, my

> >aspiring adwaitin/jnani path must have saved me from

> >worse damage. I feel so sorry about the

> >devotees/bhaktas. I was 15 years in a mental jail

> >without sentence, a surprise lesson on the mind and

> >its vagaries. Who am I? And who did this happen to?

> >Who received this pain?

>

> Tony please give yourself the proper time to let all of the feelings surface

> as they truly can not be rushed in the validation of the feelings you will

> find how invalid they are to your spirit. You will learn great amounts of

> detachment from this part of your journey and see many parts of your

> ego/mind....perhaps in the end you will discover that the best teachings

> came from the worst of Sai Baba. For eight years I had almost daily contact

> with my old teacher often for hours at a time and to this day I can still

> experience feelings of hurt and resentment but now I am detached from those

> feelings. The main difficulty I experience is that so much energy work was

> done by him that there are still times when I feel him thinking about me and

> will need to do some clearing at those times. The relationship you

> experienced was complex but when you come out on the other side of this you

> will find how little complexity there is left within you.

>

> Carry on in peace and love.

>

> Namaste,

> Linda

 

Thanks Linda for your wisdom, compassion, and insight. Thanks for being here.

Hey, we love you Tony.

 

More later.

 

Love to all

Harsha