I Am the Serenest!!

[Guest guest]

Monk Gloats Over Yoga Championship

'I am the serenest!' he says

 

LHASA, TIBET - Employing the brash style that first brought him to prominence,

Sri Dhananjai Bikram won the fifth annual International Yogi Competition

yesterday with a world-record point total of 873.6.

 

"I am the serenest!" Bikram shouted to the estimated crowd of 20,000 yoga fans,

vigorously pumping his fists. "No one is serener than Sri Dhananjai Bikram-I am

the greatest monk of all time!"

 

Bikram averaged 1.89 breaths a minute during the two-hour competition, nearly .3

fewer than his nearest competitor, second-place finisher and two-time champion

Sri Salil "The Hammer" Gupta.

 

The heavily favored Gupta was upset after the loss. "I should be able to beat

that guy with one lung tied," Gupta said. "I'm beside myself right now, and I

don't mean trans-bodily."

 

Bikram got off to a fast start at the Lhasa meet, which like most major

competitions, is a six-event affair. In the first event, he attained total

consciousness (TC) in just 2 minutes, 34 seconds, and set the tone for the rest

of the meet by repeatedly shouting, "I'm blissful! You blissful?! I'm blissful!"

to the other yogis.

 

Bikram, 33, burst onto the international yoga scene with a gold-mandala

performance at the 1994 Bhutan Invitational. At that competition he premiered

his aggressive style, at one point in the flexibility event sticking his middle

toes out at the other yogis. While no prohibition exists against such behavior,

according to Yoga League Commissioner Swami Prabhupada, such behavior is

generally considered "unBuddhalike."

 

"I don't care what the critics say," Bikram said. "Sri Bikram is just gonna go

out there and do Sri Bikram's own yoga thing."

 

Before the Bhutan meet, Bikram had never placed better than fourth. Many said he

had forsaken rigorous training for the celebrity status accorded by his Bhutan

win, endorsing Nike's new line of prayer mats and supposedly dating the Hindu

goddess Shakti. But his performance this week will regain for him the number one

computer ranking and earn him new respect, as well as for his coach Mahananda

Vasti, the controversial guru some have called Bikram's "guru."

 

"My special training diet for Bikram of one super-charged, carbo-loaded grain of

rice per day was essential to his win," Vasti said.

 

The defeated Gupta denied that Bikram's taunting was a factor in his inability

to attain TC. "I just wasn't myself today," Gupta commented. "I wasn't any self

today. I was an egoless particle of the universal no-soul."

 

In the second event, flexibility, Bikram maintained the lead by supporting

himself on his index fingers for the entire 15 minutes while touching the back

of his skull to his lower spine. The feat was matched by Gupta, who first used

the position at the 1990 Tokyo Zen-Off.

 

"That's my meditative position of spiritual ecstasy, not his," remarked Gupta.

"He stole my thunder."

 

Bikram denied the charge, saying, "Gupta's been talking like that ever since he

was a 3rd century Egyptian slave-owner."

 

Nevertheless, a strong showing by Gupta in the third event, the shotput, placed

him within a lotus petal of the lead at the competition's halfway point.

 

But event number four, the contemplation of unanswerable riddles known as koans,

proved the key to victory for Bikram.

 

The koan had long been thought the weak point of his spiritual arsenal, but his

response to today's riddle - "Show me the face you had before you were born" -

was reportedly "extremely illuminative," according to Commissioner Prabhupada.

 

While koan answers are kept secret from the public for fear of exposing the

uninitiated multitudes to the terror of universal truth, insiders claim his

answer had Prabhupada and the two other judges "highly enlightened."

 

With the event victory, Bikram built himself a nearly insurmountable lead, one

he sustained through the yak-milk churn and breathing events to come away with

the upset victory.

 

 

--

 

Thanks to AHENRY

http://reality.sgi.com/relph/humor/serene.html

[Guest guest]

Hello Harsha:

 

Is this for real or am I not getting the punch line?

 

Linda

 

>>>>>"Harsha (Dr. Harsh K. Luthar)" <hluthar

 

Monk Gloats Over Yoga Championship

'I am the serenest!' he says

 

LHASA, TIBET - Employing the brash style that first brought him to

prominence, Sri Dhananjai Bikram won the fifth annual International Yogi

Competition yesterday with a world-record point total of 873.6.

 

"I am the serenest!" Bikram shouted to the estimated crowd of 20,000 yoga

fans, vigorously pumping his fists. "No one is serener than Sri Dhananjai

Bikram-I am the greatest monk of all time!"

 

Bikram averaged 1.89 breaths a minute during the two-hour competition,

nearly .3 fewer than his nearest competitor, second-place finisher and

two-time champion Sri Salil "The Hammer" Gupta.

 

The heavily favored Gupta was upset after the loss. "I should be able to

beat that guy with one lung tied," Gupta said. "I'm beside myself right now,

and I don't mean trans-bodily."

 

Bikram got off to a fast start at the Lhasa meet, which like most major

competitions, is a six-event affair. In the first event, he attained total

consciousness (TC) in just 2 minutes, 34 seconds, and set the tone for the

rest of the meet by repeatedly shouting, "I'm blissful! You blissful?! I'm

blissful!" to the other yogis.

 

Bikram, 33, burst onto the international yoga scene with a gold-mandala

performance at the 1994 Bhutan Invitational. At that competition he

premiered his aggressive style, at one point in the flexibility event

sticking his middle toes out at the other yogis. While no prohibition exists

against such behavior, according to Yoga League Commissioner Swami

Prabhupada, such behavior is generally considered "unBuddhalike."

 

"I don't care what the critics say," Bikram said. "Sri Bikram is just gonna

go out there and do Sri Bikram's own yoga thing."

 

Before the Bhutan meet, Bikram had never placed better than fourth. Many

said he had forsaken rigorous training for the celebrity status accorded by

his Bhutan win, endorsing Nike's new line of prayer mats and supposedly

dating the Hindu goddess Shakti. But his performance this week will regain

for him the number one computer ranking and earn him new respect, as well as

for his coach Mahananda Vasti, the controversial guru some have called

Bikram's "guru."

 

"My special training diet for Bikram of one super-charged, carbo-loaded

grain of rice per day was essential to his win," Vasti said.

 

The defeated Gupta denied that Bikram's taunting was a factor in his

inability to attain TC. "I just wasn't myself today," Gupta commented. "I

wasn't any self today. I was an egoless particle of the universal no-soul."

 

In the second event, flexibility, Bikram maintained the lead by supporting

himself on his index fingers for the entire 15 minutes while touching the

back of his skull to his lower spine. The feat was matched by Gupta, who

first used the position at the 1990 Tokyo Zen-Off.

 

"That's my meditative position of spiritual ecstasy, not his," remarked

Gupta. "He stole my thunder."

 

Bikram denied the charge, saying, "Gupta's been talking like that ever since

he was a 3rd century Egyptian slave-owner."

 

Nevertheless, a strong showing by Gupta in the third event, the shotput,

placed him within a lotus petal of the lead at the competition's halfway

point.

 

But event number four, the contemplation of unanswerable riddles known as

koans, proved the key to victory for Bikram.

 

The koan had long been thought the weak point of his spiritual arsenal, but

his response to today's riddle - "Show me the face you had before you were

born" - was reportedly "extremely illuminative," according to Commissioner

Prabhupada.

 

While koan answers are kept secret from the public for fear of exposing the

uninitiated multitudes to the terror of universal truth, insiders claim his

answer had Prabhupada and the two other judges "highly enlightened."

 

With the event victory, Bikram built himself a nearly insurmountable lead,

one he sustained through the yak-milk churn and breathing events to come

away with the upset victory.

 

 

----------

----

 

Thanks to AHENRY

http://reality.sgi.com/relph/humor/serene.html

 

 

 

 

--------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ----------------------------

 

Accurate impartial advice on everything from laptops to table saws.

<a href=" http://clickme./ad/Productopia ">Click Here</a>

 

------

 

All paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights,

perceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and subside

back into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not different than

the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the nature of Awareness.

Awareness does not come and go but is always Present. It is Home. Home is

where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart to be the Finality of Eternal

Being. A true devotee relishes in the Truth of Self-Knowledge, spontaneously

arising from within into It Self. Welcome all to a.

[Guest guest]

Harsha-ji-ji,

 

I am the laughingest! Liked it so much I sent it to several of my off-list

friends. You and the others on this list are the greatest!

 

With lovest,

 

--Greg

[Guest guest]

Dear Harsha,

 

This is absolutely wonderful. Is there any

chance you would let me reprint it permanently

on www.realization.org?

 

Best regards,

 

Laura

(Laura Olshansky, editor, http://www.realization.org)

 

 

-

Harsha (Dr. Harsh K. Luthar) <hluthar

< >; <Advaitin >

Wednesday, January 26, 2000 10:43 AM

I Am the Serenest!!

 

> "Harsha (Dr. Harsh K. Luthar)" <hluthar

>

> Monk Gloats Over Yoga Championship

> 'I am the serenest!' he says

>

> LHASA, TIBET - Employing the brash style that first brought him to

prominence, Sri Dhananjai Bikram won the fifth annual International Yogi

Competition yesterday with a world-record point total of 873.6.

>

> "I am the serenest!" Bikram shouted to the estimated crowd of 20,000 yoga

fans, vigorously pumping his fists. "No one is serener than Sri Dhananjai

Bikram-I am the greatest monk of all time!"

>

> Bikram averaged 1.89 breaths a minute during the two-hour competition,

nearly .3 fewer than his nearest competitor, second-place finisher and

two-time champion Sri Salil "The Hammer" Gupta.

>

> The heavily favored Gupta was upset after the loss. "I should be able to

beat that guy with one lung tied," Gupta said. "I'm beside myself right now,

and I don't mean trans-bodily."

>

> Bikram got off to a fast start at the Lhasa meet, which like most major

competitions, is a six-event affair. In the first event, he attained total

consciousness (TC) in just 2 minutes, 34 seconds, and set the tone for the

rest of the meet by repeatedly shouting, "I'm blissful! You blissful?! I'm

blissful!" to the other yogis.

>

> Bikram, 33, burst onto the international yoga scene with a gold-mandala

performance at the 1994 Bhutan Invitational. At that competition he

premiered his aggressive style, at one point in the flexibility event

sticking his middle toes out at the other yogis. While no prohibition exists

against such behavior, according to Yoga League Commissioner Swami

Prabhupada, such behavior is generally considered "unBuddhalike."

>

> "I don't care what the critics say," Bikram said. "Sri Bikram is just

gonna go out there and do Sri Bikram's own yoga thing."

>

> Before the Bhutan meet, Bikram had never placed better than fourth. Many

said he had forsaken rigorous training for the celebrity status accorded by

his Bhutan win, endorsing Nike's new line of prayer mats and supposedly

dating the Hindu goddess Shakti. But his performance this week will regain

for him the number one computer ranking and earn him new respect, as well as

for his coach Mahananda Vasti, the controversial guru some have called

Bikram's "guru."

>

> "My special training diet for Bikram of one super-charged, carbo-loaded

grain of rice per day was essential to his win," Vasti said.

>

> The defeated Gupta denied that Bikram's taunting was a factor in his

inability to attain TC. "I just wasn't myself today," Gupta commented. "I

wasn't any self today. I was an egoless particle of the universal no-soul."

>

> In the second event, flexibility, Bikram maintained the lead by supporting

himself on his index fingers for the entire 15 minutes while touching the

back of his skull to his lower spine. The feat was matched by Gupta, who

first used the position at the 1990 Tokyo Zen-Off.

>

> "That's my meditative position of spiritual ecstasy, not his," remarked

Gupta. "He stole my thunder."

>

> Bikram denied the charge, saying, "Gupta's been talking like that ever

since he was a 3rd century Egyptian slave-owner."

>

> Nevertheless, a strong showing by Gupta in the third event, the shotput,

placed him within a lotus petal of the lead at the competition's halfway

point.

>

> But event number four, the contemplation of unanswerable riddles known as

koans, proved the key to victory for Bikram.

>

> The koan had long been thought the weak point of his spiritual arsenal,

but his response to today's riddle - "Show me the face you had before you

were born" - was reportedly "extremely illuminative," according to

Commissioner Prabhupada.

>

> While koan answers are kept secret from the public for fear of exposing

the uninitiated multitudes to the terror of universal truth, insiders claim

his answer had Prabhupada and the two other judges "highly enlightened."

>

> With the event victory, Bikram built himself a nearly insurmountable lead,

one he sustained through the yak-milk churn and breathing events to come

away with the upset victory.

>

>

> --------

------

>

> Thanks to AHENRY

> http://reality.sgi.com/relph/humor/serene.html

>

>

>

>

> --------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ----------------------------

>

> Accurate impartial advice on everything from laptops to table saws.

> <a href=" http://clickme./ad/Productopia ">Click Here</a>

>

> ------

>

> All paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights,

perceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and subside

back into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not different than

the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the nature of Awareness.

Awareness does not come and go but is always Present. It is Home. Home is

where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart to be the Finality of Eternal

Being. A true devotee relishes in the Truth of Self-Knowledge, spontaneously

arising from within into It Self. Welcome all to a.

>

[Guest guest]

 

Laura Olshansky [editor]

Wednesday, January 26, 2000 2:05 PM

Re: I Am the Serenest!!

 

"Laura Olshansky" <editor

 

Dear Harsha,

 

This is absolutely wonderful. Is there any

chance you would let me reprint it permanently

on www.realization.org?

 

Best regards,

Laura

(Laura Olshansky, editor, http://www.realization.org)

 

 

Hello Laura,

 

A professor colleague of mine knowing my background sent that to me a few

years ago. It was so funny and I enjoyed a big laughter like Greg. (I am

positive that you will eventually find it funny too Linda - there is no

punch line! :--).

 

It has no copyright that I am aware of Laura. It can be found on many

places on the net. I cited the source at the end of my post but you must

have missed it last time. Here it is again.

> Thanks to AHENRY

> http://reality.sgi.com/relph/humor/serene.html

>

>

By the way Laura, you are doing a fantastic job with your website. You have

got tremendous talent. Can we borrow some :--)?

 

Love

Harsha

[Guest guest]

At 03:43 PM 1/26/00 -0500, Harsha (Dr. Harsh K. Luthar) wrote:

>By the way Laura, you are doing a fantastic job with your website. You have

>got tremendous talent. Can we borrow some :--)?

 

I agree - she keeps it fresh and interesting. It has the timeliness, look

and feel of a well-edited magazine.

 

Love,

 

--Greg

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the laugh Harsha. BTW, what happened with the seventh event of

the contest, the one where the yogis enter samadhi and get buried alive for

"longest samadhi competition", the winner being the one waking up from it

last?

 

Jan

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the humor site http://reality.sgi.com/relph/humor/

The new dog breeds are hilarious!

[Guest guest]

Dear Harsha,

> I cited the source at the end of my post but you must

> have missed it last time. Here it is again.

 

Ah, thanks. My eyes skipped right over it. I'll contact him.

> By the way Laura, you are doing a fantastic job

> with your website. You have

> got tremendous talent. Can we borrow some :--)?

 

That's so nice to hear! Of course, you can borrow

as much as you want.

 

But what can I do for you? The content of this list (and

some others) is wonderful -- as interesting and well-

informed and well-written as anything published

anywhere -- and it has the great advantage of

immediacy, of one person speaking conversationally

to another.

 

(I lurk rigorously even though I don't say much. )

 

My plan from the beginning has been to reprint a lot of

things from lists, editing them slightly but not so much

that the personal directness is lost. I keep seeing

posts that I would love to reprint, but often they would

need to be revised slightly to stand on their own apart

from the thread, and I'm reluctant to ask the authors to

do so because it's an imposition.

 

Love,

 

Laura

[Guest guest]

Laura Olshansky wrote:

> "Laura Olshansky" <editor

>

> Dear Harsha,

>

> > I cited the source at the end of my post but you must

> > have missed it last time. Here it is again.

>

> Ah, thanks. My eyes skipped right over it. I'll contact him.

>

> > By the way Laura, you are doing a fantastic job

> > with your website. You have

> > got tremendous talent. Can we borrow some :--)?

>

> That's so nice to hear! Of course, you can borrow

> as much as you want.

>

> But what can I do for you? The content of this list (and

> some others) is wonderful -- as interesting and well-

> informed and well-written as anything published

> anywhere -- and it has the great advantage of

> immediacy, of one person speaking conversationally

> to another.

>

> (I lurk rigorously even though I don't say much. )

>

> My plan from the beginning has been to reprint a lot of

> things from lists, editing them slightly but not so much

> that the personal directness is lost. I keep seeing

> posts that I would love to reprint, but often they would

> need to be revised slightly to stand on their own apart

> from the thread, and I'm reluctant to ask the authors to

> do so because it's an imposition.

>

> Love,

>

> Laura

>

 

I understand what you are saying Laura. You are gifted. Many gifted and talented

people are also shy and so I can understand your reluctance to ask. But you

obviously have a call. A call to recognize beauty where ever you see it. That

beauty might be in humor and farce or spiritual insight (sometimes they are the

same), or in the compassion and kindness people show to each other. Where ever

that beauty occurs, it resonates with you Laura. You recognize it because it is

in you and you can envision it being reflected over a wider audience. So you

have this gift Laura, the gift of

spreading sunshine but you are a little shy. On the other hand, many of us here

are not gifted but we are not shy. In fact we are shameless. We have been called

that at least. So perhaps we can help you a little. Kid you a little and make

you giggle and soon your shyness will be a thing of the past. You will be asking

everyone and their uncle to contribute to your internet magazine without the

least hesitation. In fact you will start asking with boldness and gusto soon! We

guarantee a 100% success rate in this program. Get with the program Laura!

 

Love to all

Harsha

[Guest guest]

Dear Harsha,

> On the other hand, many of us here are not gifted but

> we are not shy. In fact we are shameless.

 

LOL. (I really did laugh out loud.)

> So perhaps we

> can help you a little. Kid you a little and make you

> giggle and soon your shyness will be a thing of

> the past. You will be asking everyone and their

> uncle to contribute to your internet magazine

> without the least hesitation. In fact you will start

> asking with boldness and gusto soon! We

> guarantee a 100% success rate in this

> program. Get with the program Laura!

 

I hope you realize you are one of the first persons who

is going to get clobbered with requests!

 

Love,

 

Laura

[Guest guest]

Hi Laura,

>My plan from the beginning has been to reprint a lot of

>things from lists, editing them slightly but not so much

>that the personal directness is lost. I keep seeing

>posts that I would love to reprint, but often they would

>need to be revised slightly to stand on their own apart

>from the thread, and I'm reluctant to ask the authors to

>do so because it's an imposition.

 

I think you could ask permission to do editing, with the understanding that

the final product would be subject to the author's approval. That way, if

there's anything that he thinks reads the wrong way when out of context, he

could discuss it with you. And if he sees something he's really sorry he

said, he could take it out. ))

 

I think some people would be glad for you to fix up typos and

mis-spellings... maybe others would want it kept just as is... you could

ask about that too.

 

Love,

Dharma

[Guest guest]

Hi Dharma,

> I think you could ask permission to do editing, with the understanding

that

> the final product would be subject to the author's approval. That way, if

> there's anything that he thinks reads the wrong way when out of context,

he

> could discuss it with you. And if he sees something he's really sorry he

> said, he could take it out. ))

 

That's my standard procedure. My first editorial commandment is,

the author must be happy.

 

The problem, though, is (a) I don't have enough time to do

substantial editing (rewriting, moving sections around, adding

things) on most articles, and (b) many postings on mail lists

would become excellent articles if the authors made them longer

by adding more information.

 

A couple of people have volunteered to do copyediting for the

site, but haven't actually started yet. When they get involved

we'll be able to print more articles, I hope.

 

Love,

 

Laura