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[NondualitySalon] 32 Characteristics of Saloners

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Greg Goode wrote:

>

> Greg Goode <goode

>

> I've enjoyed this thread, with its richness of drama and concepts. Here is

> a list of 32 characteristics of Enlightened Ones. I've posted it in the

> past. Each characteristic is something that has been stated, claimed, or

> laid down by a teacher or school or aspirant as a criterion or

> characteristic of enlightenment.

>

> It's a concept of course! And I don't know of any other concept in the

> entire spiritual endeavor that has a wider variety of opinion surrounding it!

>

> ===========================================================

> 32 Characteristics of Enlightened Ones

> ===========================================================

>

> The abbreviation "EO" is used for Enlightened One, and

> if a pronoun is needed, the feminine is used.

> It is a wonderfully inconsistent and incomplete list!

> ===========================================================

>

> 1. There's nothing the EO *shouldn't* do - everything

> she does is spontaneous and Right.

 

Everything the Saloner does is spontaneous and suspect.

> 2. The EO never has sex.

 

The Saloner never gets sex.

> 3. The EO never gets angry.

 

The Saloner never gets angry when he gets sex.

> 4. The EO never leaves the place where Enlightenment occurred.

 

The Saloner never leaves the place where nuts are served

with the beer.

> 5. The EO had free will, but lost it.

 

The Saloner had a coupon for cents off on Kraft dinner but

lost it.

> 6. The EO has no emotional responses.

 

The Saloner gets emotional over a thumb tack.

> 7. The EO has no more mind/body consciousness.

 

The Saloner has no more cable television.

> 8. The EO has a mind, but it is non-reactive.

 

The Saloner has mind, but he is busy showing he has no mind.

> 9. The EO has no more mind.

 

The Saloner has no more rind.

> 10. The EO knows she's an EO.

 

The Saloner knows she's a Leo.

> 11. The EO has no consciousness of being an EO.

 

The Saloner has no consciousness of having been out Saturday

night.

> 12. The EO actually is actually not an O at all.

 

The Saloner doesn't understand this.

> 13. The EO knows that the ego is carried in the blood,

> not the brain.

 

The Saloner is getting bored with this.

> 14. The EO is in constant knowledge of the Beloved.

 

The EO is in constant knowledge of the Saloner.

> 15. The EO is in constant contact with ascended masters.

 

The Saloner is in constant contact with his attorney.

> 16. The EO, being Consciousness Itself, has the siddhi powers

> to manifest anything she wants in this world. Only her

> restraint and good taste keep her from exercising this

> power in a crass and show-offish way.

 

The Saloner has no such restraint or good taste.

> 17. The EO must have been born in India to a Brahman family.

 

The Saloner must have been born in New Jersey to a

dysfunctional family.

> 18. The EO has transcended each and every one of the 172 levels

> of consciousness.

 

So has the Saloner.

> 19. The EO constantly sees a blue pearl at their forehead level,

> during waking, dreaming, and deep sleep.

 

The Saloner constantly sees a pearl onion at forehead level.

> 20. The EO doesn't need to work for a living.

 

The Saloner doesn't need to work for more than $6 an hour

for a living.

> 21. EO's are always teachers.

 

Saloners eat teachers for breakfast.

> 22. EO's never need to apologize.

 

Saloners always apologize for sending posts that are meant

to be private.

> 23. One is not an EO unless everyone agrees.

 

One is not a Saloner until everyone disagrees with them.

> 24. The EO doesn't like heavy metal, rap, or country-western

> music, because these come from the lower chakras, whereas

> classical music comes directly from the Self, not filtered

> and distorted through the lower chakras.

 

The Saloner is into country line dancing because it comes

from the Dolly Parton chakra.

> 25. The EO is God.

 

The Saloner is a thread on God.

> 26. The EO can't be recognized except by another EO.

 

The Saloner can't be recognized in a scan by Jerry.

> 27. The EO can tell you what happens during deep sleep.

 

The Saloner can tell you happens during deep sleep if his

pajamas are wet and sticky in the morning.

> 28. The EO doesn't spend very much time in the Internet.

 

oh shut up

> 29. The EO is happy all the time.

 

The Saloner is sappy all the time.

> 30. The EO is outside of time; other people are still in time.

 

The Saloner is outside because he forgot his keys at the

place where nuts are served with beer.

> 31. The EO has no preferences.

 

The Saloner can't figure out how to configure his

preferences.

> 32. There is a fragrance of patchouli that emanates from the EO.

 

There is fragrance of nuts and beer that emanates from a

Saloner.

 

back to the saloon,

jerry

_

NONDUALITY SALON

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http://www.nonduality.com

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//nondualitysalon

Chat

http://www.eScribe.com/religion/nondualitysalon/chat

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