Another introduction

[Guest guest]

MHortling wrote:

> MHortling

>

> Hello Harsha & everybody !

>

> Having recently joined this spiritually and intellectually uplifting

> gathering, I'll take the opportunity to briefly introduce myself. For those

> of you who've been subjected to my stories on other lists before, hope you

> don't mind too much...

>

> My name is Michael, I just recently turned 40 and fate shoved me onto the

> spiritual path over 20 years ago, when the kundalini-shakti awoke in me with

> a bang after having smoked cannabis. I went into a full-fledged mystical

> experience of unity with the universe and experiencing myself as

> all-powerful, eternal energy and part of infinity..

>

> I then had a second kundalini-rising some years later while being severly ill

> and this left me psychologically shattered. The experiences of total

> alienation, depression and activation of subconscious material described by

> many people going through kundalini awakenings hit me, and it was only after

> quite a while, when I had followed an inner urge to start practicing yoga

> that I eventually found some relief. It was at this point that I began to

> understand what was happening within myself and I, to my dismay, realised I

> was out in really deep water with far too big boots strapped onto my unguided

> and unprepared feet.

>

> A third activation of shakti finally occurred after a period of intense

> sadhana, after which the energy has been permanently at work in myself. This

> has resulted in various forms of physical and emotional agony, but also in a

> gradual but radical transformation in the way the world and myself in it are

> perceived.

>

> Over the years, a marked sense of silent unity beyond the delusions and the

> ups and downs of the thinking, feeling and sensory processes has slowly begun

> to establish itself as a central reality within my consciousness.

>

> This seems to have come about through the incessant working of the energy

> inside, remolding the various pathways in the mind, clearing out old beliefs

> and destroying the very thought patterns that used to make up my former sense

> of identity.

>

> I'm not sure where this will eventually lead to, but I have to some extent

> taught myself to surrender to this awesome and mysterious process, so maybe

> it doesn't really matter...

>

 

Dear Michael,

 

Thanks for that wonderful introduction. It was deeply moving Michael. I am

struck by the depth of experience and wisdom of people gathered in this Satsang.

I bow to the light in you.

 

Namaste

Harsha

[Guest guest]

Hi Michael,

> This is something I was aware of and suffered a lot from as well.

The

> sense of being different leading to alienation leading to depression

> leading to wanting to be whole leading to spirituality....

>

> Obviously everybody moves on an individual path and

depressions can have

> many hidden ramifications and reasons. I found that in my case

the sense

> of alienation, melancholia and joylessness in particular, were

closely

> linked to the activity of the heart/anahata chakra. I wasn't really

aware

> of this link at first until I began meditating and concentrating on

this

> center of consciousness. I then realised there was a definite

blockage in

> there, buried deep inside and colouring the way the mind and

emotions

> perceived the world (and myself)

>

 

I think I'm with you on this; I've had some heart-chakra activity as

my depression lightened, and I guess I must still have some

blockages there. Additionally, I think I have a lot of problems

stemming from blockages in the solar plexus chakra - lack of will,

and low self-esteem. I think these are a big part of my depression.

(in fact I often get pain here, where my diaphragm is, with no

obvious cause, and a psychic acquaintance told me I have

blockages seven layers deep, which *sounds* quite bad! Oh well...)

Hopefully meditating will help shift them. I don't really know any

other way to get rid of them...

> Concentration and deep relaxation into that spot eventually made

it

> possible to open the path and alleviate the weight of the

depression to a

> certain degree after I figured this out (took me ages to get to that

point

> though...)

>

> I've come to believe that a lot of mental and emotional problems

can be

> seen in terms of life energy not being allowed to circulate freely. -

I

> think that the true and "spiritual" sense of detachement is also

closely

> linked to the free and relaxed flow of energy, it feels very joyous

and

> there's a sensation of "no problem, everything's alright" to it. This

is

> very different from the dry and barren detachement and lack of

> involvement that I've experienced during episodes of depression.

 

Yes, that sounds like my experience, too. Especially the 'lack of

involvement' - I'm a very uninvolved person! Comes from fear (if

you're not involved you won't get hurt....)

best wishes,

gill