The Cremation of the Fraud Meister of Pseudo-philosophical Schlock

[Guest guest]

El, an incredibly brilliant person and artist who has shared much on her

Kundalini experiences wrote the following on the K-List in response to the

"usual spiritual posts". It reflects such a completely spontaneous burst of

humorous creativity that I felt it deserved a wider audience. :-).

 

Love

Harsha

 

ckress

 

The Meister speaks:

 

"For every dolt there is a corresponding antidote. Dolt and antidote collide

to form a substance similar to silly putty, thus having slight socially

redeeming value."

 

....................

 

Cremating the Meister

 

One of the half-baked ideas is that if what's-it is created from whatever,

then there is likewise created a generous portion of who-the-hell-cares.

 

If I take a croissant and crumble it, forming a mess of crumbs on the table,

those crumbs attract vermin, much like maggots which have opposite ends also

known as mouths and butts.

 

In other words, you cannot make a mess anywhere without attracting something

that actually thinks it's fit to eat.

 

Holes can be reversed when entropy is squared by armadillos times the speed

of light.

 

Now, let us take this a step further.

 

Bugs and pesticides.

 

Is a concept that most will be familiar with... but have you ever looked at

an ant with the perspective that it just might be your reincarnated

grandfather?

 

"a vaguely specified load of bull... some pretence of actual communication."

 

as in the concept or phrase "get a life" i.e. "your mind is on vacation and

your mouth is working overtime"

 

Now manure is also defined as that which occupies bandwidth and has a certain

stench.

 

So where, within this concept, lies the antidote -- that which pours like

molasses and kills time... that which is too stupid to think about and is of

no concern to anyone

 

To put this into further convoluted double-talk, a quirk, a clink, a slurp, a

skunk are words I "created" by lifting them from the dictionary. What we do

is, because of a perception of utmost crud, seek to hit our delete buttons in

unison.

 

The mindless and the meaningless.

 

Where the mindless and the meaningless are perceived as one of the signs of

the apocalypse, it follows that if dolts are spewing nonsense, then those

with the sense of an onion will ignore them.

 

In other words, your recipe for linguine will turn into slime mold (unless

baked at the royal unification altitude), causing a dispersal of your dinner

guests.

 

All too often, for most people, most of the time -- or most often, for all

people, for much of the time -- or often too many people mostly for all time

-- whatever could have been, should have been, and vice versa, according to

the whims of inverse conundrum and Murphy's law, part 12.

 

Recreational spittoon polishing done without due process and failure to pay

the parallel universe tariff collectors leads to heavy fines directly

proportional to the strength with which you hold onto your hat.

 

What matters most to your mental foot is that which will also provide the

greatest gravitational redundancy within the infrastructure of your spiritual

nostril.

 

It follows from this that hidee-hidee-hi and hodee-hodee-ho, the greater one

conspicuously implied the opposite to the contrary, the more the aorta

reverberates like a renegade sonata.

 

The seeking of hokem with the left ventricle will, therefore, induce

aneurysms in all who have tried to make sense of this inanity.

 

The Meister you fear most is probably running for public office somewhere,

and you fear him/her only slightly less strongly than you fear reading

further posts of this nature, hopefully not allowing yourself, the blather

and idiocy to become one.

 

(Any resemblance of this post to any other post or list member, living or

dead or in some kind of vegetative brain-dead coma, is sheer coincidence.)

 

El