K. rising

March 23, 2000

Harsha, you asked for it. So here's my story about Kundalini rising.

This is not about realization or enlightenment or anything like that...

just K. rising.

* * *

A BRIEF FLARE-UP

In the early '70s I was teaching meditation... I called it Raja Yoga with

a Tibetan accent. It was strictly sky-path. At that time I hadn't read

all the good stuff about K., only dire warnings. So I was protecting my

students from the kind of over-stimulation that might trigger active K. At

the same time, I knew I was using K. with them and their K. was rising...

but not in the physical body.

Then one day my husband and I were confronted with warnings from our

spiritual guides. They said he was at a critical moment health-wise, that

he needed rest for the sake of his heart. And they said that he had been

supplying energy to me, and it would have to stop... that I would have to

handle it myself. I said, "Okay, tell me what to do, and I'll do it."

They said I didn't have to do anything, that it would just happen.

And then I began to shake... and kept on shaking, all over, all the time.

I thought it was a huge caffeine problem, and I cut out caffeine... but

that didn't make any difference. So I knew this must be the new energy

that I had to bring in for myself. I figured it was a new energy level,

and maybe if I just waited, I would get used to it and it wouldn't feel

like shaking any more.

At about the same time, heat started pouring from my entire spine...

anyone could feel it. Even on a cold night, I couldn't cover up, or we

would both be roasting. I had to lie on my side and pull the covers just

up the front and hook them on a shoulder, leaving the spine open to the air.

Apparently the heat was coming from other centers too, because I was

wearing some Indian sandals with large triangles over the tops of the

feet... they were of very heavy water buffalo, we thought. And my feet

were burned underneath those triangles... the skin all came off. I didn't

go to a doctor... what could I tell him? )) But my husband woke up in

the night knowing the right treatment for the burns. So I was walking

around barefoot for a while, treating the burns and shaking.

Sure enough, it all went away in about three months. Actually, I don't

think the energy level ever dropped... I think I did get used to it, and

gradually it came to feel normal to me.

There were no more K. symptoms for many years.

* * *

KUNDALINI ACTIVATED

In September of 1996 my spiritual guru activated my Kundalini. The only

thing I'd been doing differently, so far as I know, was that I had been on

a major eliminative diet since June... it was recommended because of my

chronic illness, CFS/ME.

One evening I laid down in bed to meditate (I learned to meditate lying

down, and when I'm alone, I usually prefer that). Pretty soon, something

unusual began to happen. At first I really thought I was getting a massage

from some little devas. ) Something was gently pushing my head one way

and then the other, or manipulating my neck or back... feelings almost

like little hands massaging, I guess.. because that's what I thought it

was. Sometimes I just knew that I was being told to move in a certain way,

and I moved. I just went with it, as you would with a massage therapist,

and I was enjoying it... it felt good, and everything was getting very

relaxed and stretched out. The movements got stronger and stronger... I

wasn't sure any longer what was happening, but I trusted my spiritual

guide... so I went along with it. Some of the movements were unusual...

I vaguely recollected reading a little about them and not understanding

what they were for. Some of it was advanced pranayama, which I won't

describe. And then something began at the bottom of the spine, began

slowly moving up the spine. Something very real... not imagination or

visualization... as real as if someone had a needle into the inside of my

spinal column and was injecting something and it was rising. I had never

felt anything like it before, but I knew it had to be Kundalini. I could

feel the pressure as it pushed slowly upward... I think there was some

pain of the aching kind... not enough to bother me, especially because it

was so sexual. It slowly went all the way up... some of the movements

seemed to be to move or jerk the spine around to open a way for the energy.

And it was wonderful... to me the K. felt very sexual then and always has.

It was something like the strong energy feeling of sexual orgasm was there,

but not producing an explosion, just continuing, moving up the spine, and

the energy was strong in the body too, very strong in the body and in the

head. When it ended, I was super-charged with energy and feeling extremely

sexual. My guide said, "Okay, now you can masturbate and release some

energy." I couldn't believe he said that! But he said yes, go ahead. So

I did.

After that it happened about every third day during meditation. My guide

said to imagine or feel a chakra up above my head (it might have been about

18 inches up, but that's just a guess)... and keep knowing that it was one

with root chakra... "the highest and the lowest are one." And the K.

would rise up the spine and into the head and out the top... it was

extremely sexual and ecstatic... bliss. And afterwards he would say to

masturbate and let off some energy.

After several months he started saying afterward, "Try not to masturbate."

) So I would get up and try to go about doing normal things while I

still had that high energy level, rather than releasing it.

-------------------

May not apply to K.

------------------

My health continued to improve, and I moved to Texas. In the spring I took

a weekend workshop with Lynea Weatherly, where I learned to ask my

subconscious/body for YES and NO answers about physical health, as well as

about other levels. I had known how to do that with finger signals...

just hadn't known what to ask. She said the subconscious could relay

messages from the superconscious, so I set that up, and I was getting easy

YES and NO answers from my guide. Even when I hear him, it's still handy

for quick answers. At the end of that weekend my illness was a thing of

the past. I was well.

* * *

INTO HIGH GEAR

At the end of June I went to a weekend workshop given by a bodymind

therapist who obviously had studied Hatha Yoga (at least). He asked me to

do a couple of demonstrations with him about sensing auras... whether he

gave any Shaktipat, I don't know. Once he stopped talking to look right at

me and give me a position for stretching the back of the neck. But I think

the important thing was all the sacrum work.

Even though the workshop was about muscles, he had us do several exercises

involving rocking movement of the sacrum (that's in the lower spine... I

don't think I can send a drawing, because we're not carrying attachments

any more). These exercises were not short... maybe 20-30 minutes each

time. And each day we spent about an hour dancing to rhythmical music,

much of it African or Indian. Mostly dancing alone, but the sacrum had to

keep moving the whole time.

The night after the workshop ended, my K. went into high gear during

meditation. The energy was much stronger than I had experienced before...

and I think that was the night my body started undulating like a snake and

flowed down over the side of the bed and across the floor. I ended up

sitting cross-legged on the carpet, and I seem to remember the serpent was

all the way up through my spine and head and towering over me. When I

opened my eyes, I saw a blaze of violet light coming from my hands. I held

them up and turned them this way and that, looking at the beautiful violet

energy, saying, "Thank you! Thank you!"

My K. was in high gear... I had to go to my room several times every day

to lie down and do my K.work/meditation. Even when I was with other

people, I would feel it building at muladhara. I thought if I helped it to

move along smoothly, it wouldn't go into kriyas right there, so I just

thought of the next center and the energy moving up there... and it did.

Then I thought of the next one... and it went there... and so on.

Suddenly my life changed drastically... in about a week I was in a motel

and in another week I was in my own empty apartment. I sent for my

furniture from the North, but the movers didn't manage to deliver it for

three weeks. So for three weeks I was waiting in an empty carpeted

apartment with nothing but a few blankets and pillows. And Kundalini!

I was spending many hours a day in meditation/energy work. I didn't plan

that... it just happened. The energy would start up at the base of my

spine, and I would ask if I should lie down to work. If the answer was

yes, I did. I didn't know what I was doing, but the energy knew! It

seemed as if it had a mind of its own.... and just naturally, I once

addressed it as "Lord Kundalini." Then someone told me to buy Muktananda's

autobiography, and he says K. is indeed Goddess Shakti herself... he calls

her Mother Shakti. He says she sometimes acts as someone's guru for a

while, so I spoke to her and she said she was my guru at that time for this

work. It was often very sexual for me, and I felt strange about working

with a female guide, so I asked if I could call her "Lord Shakti." She

said it didn't matter at all, so I did that for a while.

I was also told that an old friend since the '70s, who had told me to call

him Green Brother and later admitted he was a deva, had now become my main

guide. Shakti worked with me for some time, and later Green Brother (GB)

took over.

At first, I was worried about going out of the apartment... I was afraid I

might have kriyas in public. ) But I talked to Lord Shakti about it, and

we came to an agreement... nothing embarrassing would happen while I was

with other people, and when I was alone, I would give as much time as he

wanted to working with the K. To this day, the agreement holds. I don't

have kriyas in public. And when I'm alone and feel new energy in the lower

spine, I ask if my guide is calling. If it's YES, I head for my bed.

And he's in charge.

On Christmas Day of that year, I found my first Kundalini-related list on

the net and began to meet other K-people. And I started looking for the

best techniques to use with active K. It's been a wild ride for a few

years, but I think the really turbulent times ended last summer. I asked

GB why he let me get into some of the messes I got into while searching for

the techniques, and he said it was scheduled before I came into this

life... a period of rapid karma clearing and rapid growth and learning. I

am full of love and gratitude for GB and Mother Shakti and all who helped

me... Harsha and Sandeep and so many others.

Love,

Dharma

March 23, 2000

At 07:08 AM 3/23/00 -0500, you wrote:

Dharma <fisher1

Dharma, it is wonderful to read of your experiences.

Paul

March 24, 2000

Hello Dharma,

Thanx for sharing the beautiful story of your k rising. l could

barely remember some bits of it from the k list last year, so it was good to

have the gaps filled in. lt's clear why you value spirit guides, as they have

obviously played an important role in the remarkable progress you've made.

lt's

interesting that after experiencing k in the early 70's, it wasn't until

nearly 25 yrs later that you had a much greater activation, altho l

understand that k remained active all the while. Were you continuing to

meditate during this time? Assuming that you were, how much and what kind of

meditation? Hearing about a time gap like this in a k process reminds me of

just how much time can be involved, as well as the fact that for whatever

reasons we often just need this amount of time. l say this because l always

wanted to rush my process in order to make major progress in this lifetme

(not being sure if there even is more than one). But every time l've tried to

hurry it along, my system has rebelled.

Did your CFS begin at about the

same time as your initial k activity in the early 70's and do you see a

relationship between the two? ( l assume you do) lt's really something that

the CFS just stopped after the workshop you did. l always love stories of

healing.

ps Glad you enjoyed hearing from Jerryananda, my alter

ego. The retreat this summer? With my physical stuff l haven't travelled for

some years now. But l'm not completely writing it off -- it's a fascinating

idea!

love,

jerry

March 27, 2000

Hi Jerry,

> Thanx for sharing the beautiful story of your k rising. l could

>barely remember some bits of it from the k list last year, so it was good to

>have the gaps filled in. lt's clear why you value spirit guides, as they have

>obviously played an important role in the remarkable progress you've made.

I think I've always been guided, even before I asked for it (at 13). When

I was very small, every so often a little man came to our house at night.

We went out on the front porch with him... Mom and I sat on the swing, and

he and Daddy sat on the porch railing and talked. I knew he was getting a

report on me. Then he walked off up the side street toward the church

behind us. When I told my parents the little man had come again, they

always said he was a dream... but I was sure he wasn't. In our living

room we had a Will Vaughter picture of a little gnome walking across a

field in the moonlight... my little man looked a lot like a gnome. I

think that was a child's perception of the Wise Old Man, the spiritual

guru.

> lt's

>interesting that after experiencing k in the early 70's, it wasn't until

>nearly 25 yrs later that you had a much greater activation, altho l

>understand that k remained active all the while.

It was active before that, but not physically.

>Were you continuing to

>meditate during this time? Assuming that you were, how much and what kind of

>meditation?

As I said, I was already teaching Raja Yoga, since about 1970. Of course,I

was meditating. ) It becomes a way of life, you know... whether you sit

for formal meditation at a certain time or not.

>Hearing about a time gap like this in a k process reminds me of

>just how much time can be involved, as well as the fact that for whatever

>reasons we often just need this amount of time.

I don't think of it as a time gap in my K. process. I didn't want active

K. back in the '70s. I think it flared up because of that time of forced,

rapid growth I went through. My husband was told he had been giving me

energy and he had to stop doing it because of his health. I think he may

have been supplying K. to me in a kind of symbiotic relationship. He loved

gardening, and his guide said once that he drew energy from the earth.

Whereas I was a very sky-path kind of person back then. It may be that it

was suddenly necessary for me to draw K. myself, instead of getting it from

him.

>l say this because l always

>wanted to rush my process in order to make major progress in this lifetme

>(not being sure if there even is more than one).

What kind of progress do you want to make? Physically active Kundalini

isn't necessary for spiritual progress, you know... it isn't even

necessary in order to go into the All. I went into the All at about 27...

c. 1963 or '64. Well before I began teaching meditation and before that

flare-up of K.

I was never seeking anything in particular in my K. process. GB activated

it during meditation, and I just took it for granted that he had a reason.

) Once it was clearly going strong, then I wanted to find the best

techniques I could, because I knew I'd be teaching it sooner or later.

>But every time l've tried to

>hurry it along, my system has rebelled.

Forgive me, my friend... that reminds me of the story of the guy who went

to the doctor and said, "My arm hurts every time I do this!" And the

doctor said, "Well then, don't DO that!" ))

You say your problems are better now, so maybe the time is coming nearer.

When my K. was activated, I had been on a major eliminative diet for about

three months... did you ever do that, really clean up the body and detox?

> Did your CFS begin at about the

>same time as your initial k activity in the early 70's

Not that I know of... but I can't be sure when it began.

>and do you see a

>relationship between the two? ( l assume you do)

I think there's SOME relationship, but I don't know what. Many K-active

people do have CFS, and the lists of symptoms overlap in very interesting

ways. I'm not the only one to say there must be some connection. El

Collie wrote an article on it for her Shared Transformations newsletter.

>lt's really something that

>the CFS just stopped after the workshop you did. l always love stories of

>healing.

Well, here's more of the details about Lynea's work... from a long post

for a CFS list.

>My friend took me to Lynea Weatherly, who teaches various healing

>methods. She has studied many disciplines and taken the simplest,

>easiest methods she could find and combined them. She also works with

>people in private sessions, and I had an appointment. That first day she

>said my problem was grief... so much grief, from this life and from other

>lives. I said I knew I still had a problem with grief, and there was anger

>too. She said, "No! The anger is a cover for the grief. It's all grief!"

>She gave me a hand position for getting rid of grief. We did it for a few

>minutes together, and then she said it would take more time and I should

>keep on doing it, very often. When I left her house, my asthma was gone

>and all my allergies (except for simple sinus trouble) were gone! I

>stopped using several prescription medications and threw away three

>inhalers.

>

>A month later I took Lynea's weekend workshop on how to use muscle-testing

>to communicate with the body/subconscious to find limiting decisions (LDs),

>otherwise known as karmic crap or blocks, and how to get rid of them.

>During the course we did a lot of work on ourselves, uncovering LDs and

>clearing them.

>

>At one point she told us to ask the body/subconscious, "What if I have

>perfect health?" And my body/subconscious said NO!! There was some

>LD(s)/blockage in my subconscious that would not allow me to have perfect

>health. I cleared that, and when I asked again, the answer was YES! By

>the end of the third day, my CFS was gone!

> ps Glad you enjoyed hearing from Jerryananda, my alter

>ego. The retreat this summer? With my physical stuff l haven't travelled for

>some years now. But l'm not completely writing it off -- it's a fascinating

>idea!

>

Unless something comes up to prevent me, I plan to be there. Hope you can

make it!

If not, how about a mini-get-together in your area? Where do you live?

Probably I should know, but I don't remember.

Love,

Dharma

March 28, 2000

In a message dated 3/27/00 7:50:02 AM Eastern Standard Time, fisher1

writes:

Hello Dharma,

>l say this because l always

>wanted to rush my process in order to make major progress in this lifetme

>(not being sure if there even is more than one).

What kind of progress do you want to make? Physically active Kundalini

isn't necessary for spiritual progress, you know... it isn't even

necessary in order to go into the All. I went into the All at about 27...

c. 1963 or '64. Well before I began teaching meditation and before that

flare-up of K.

Well... one of the reasons l got interested in eastern traditions

long ago was because l thought they offered an opportunity for direct

religious or mystical experience. l wanted to have such an experience cause

l've always been such a doubter, one to whom faith never has come easily. As

l meditated sporadically in the 80's l hoped SOMETHING would happen, but not

necessarily k, which l knew could bring problems. When it did turn out to be

k, then l think like many people l hoped it would progress and lead to the

"realized" state described in many of the esoteric traditions.That was my

feeling THEN. lt could still happen but my feelings are somewhat different

now. Because of all the k problems which have crippled my personal and

spiritual practice for years now, l've been forced to grow spiritually in

other ways, not that l've "arrived" by any means. (LOL!)

>But every time l've tried to

>hurry it along, my system has rebelled.

Forgive me, my friend... that reminds me of the story of the guy who went

to the doctor and said, "My arm hurts every time I do this!" And the

doctor said, "Well then, don't DO that!" ))

Yes, l've learned the hard way. :) ... l was referring

mostly to what happened when l went to teachers. l don't think l've ever done

anything on my own that has had more than a minor impact, except possibly one

thing. A high lama that l met in December gave me some red pellets he said

had been blessed by himself and the DL -- he told me to dissolve one in water

and splash a few drops on whatever areas were problematic. l did so and found

that just a couple drops really stimulated the energy! l did it every day for

a week, but have used it very sparingly since then because too much of an

increased energy flow upsets my stomach and sleep and causes grogginess. But,

used very sparingly, l think this has had a positive impact in advancing my

process, and l want it to advance in the hope that, if for no other reason, l

will hopefully heal physically. So l only apply this shakti water when my

energy feels really stuck, which has been very seldom. But it's nice to have

it around. lt helps me be my own guru and administer shaktipat myself, if l

want to. Any thoughts on this?

You say your problems are better now, so maybe the time is coming nearer.

When my K. was activated, I had been on a major eliminative diet for about

three months... did you ever do that, really clean up the body and detox?

Probably not, at least not in the way l think you mean it. For one thing, l

haven't felt my system has wanted to undergo the methods l hear about, as it

is so sensitive. l cook all my own meals, using organic, vegetarian foods.

They are very simple and bland. My system won't permit anything else, nor

will it permit me alcohol or sex or any other goodies. (As well as most

medicines or ayurvedic herbs l've tried.) l also have ALOT more bowel

movements than before, so it feels like l'm getting about all the elimination

l can stand! Hey, l'm clean and pure as can be, kid, ha ha. No more

elimination for me.