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Jerryananda's distress

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In a message dated 3/23/00 1:49:25 PM Eastern Standard Time,

hluthar writes:

 

<<

I now declare you Guru Jerry. May you live well and prosper oh grasshopper!

 

Love

Harsha

>>

 

Dear Harsha,

And so shall it be. l believe you are right, old friend. Now

is finally the time for me to reveal that This Being is in reality

Jerryananda, avatar of all avatars. l come forth at this time in order to

formally disassociate myself with all of my former students who have brought

disgrace upon not only myself but the three lineages which l've been forced

to carry on simultaneously during these decadent days of the kaliyuga, when

so few true masters are available. Because of these decadent times l was

persuaded to believe that l could entrust these pretenders with long held

secret tantric transmissions. Oh, how have l regretted that decision!

 

Long ago in the

very depths of the Himalayas l gathered together the students now known as

Sathya Soy Burger, Mukti-with-young-girls-ananda, Gurumaymugger, Yoni

Desai, Yogi Bhagan, Snatch-it-ananda, Kriyananda, Sogyal-soiled-pants

Rinpoche and my once esteemed friend Kalu Rinpoche. l gave them pure gold --

the essence of what l'd been taught by Abhinavagupta and Jigme Chokyi Wangpo.

l taught them tantra, threw in a few siddhis for good measure ... even let

them meditate in some of my best caves. And look how they've repaid me. With

some of them l had concerns from the beginning. Every time during tantra

instruction, l was aware of Soy Burger glaring at my penis. Gurumaymugger

insisted on wearing a gun, of all things, and spent most of the time in her

cave shooting at bats and torturing worms.

 

But l had no clue as to the others. How was l to know that Yoni

Desai was to become the Banger of the Berkshires? l fed Soiled-pants

Rinpoche the dharma for his book "Tibetan Book of Living and Dying", and then

instilled Bertolucci with both the vision for the movie and the idea of

hiring fat little Soiled-pants to play a role -- all of this in order to

promote the dharma to a wider audience -- and what does Soiled-pants do but

start behaving like a sex symbol and hitting on his female devotees. But the

biggest disappointment has been Kalu Rinpoche. He was to be my successor. l

even let him have June Campbell, my most prized and loyal assistant. And what

does he do? Turns her into a whore!

 

lt's not that l haven't tried to

intervene. Through my cohort Babaji l had Yogananda throw Kriyananda out of

SRF. So what does he do? Go up north and find even bigger suckers there. lt's

taken me over 20 yrs to get him thrown out of Ananda, and now he's on the

Riviera ...now that should be interesting. l warned Sathya Soy that the

misuse of siddhis would result in loss of power, and it did. Now look at him.

l appeared in astral form to the authorities in Bangalore and gave them the

name of the store where Soy has been purchasing all the rings with which he's

been faking manifestations. There may be hope there, but what can be done for

those who insist on being fooled?

l wash my

hands of it all. For time immemorial l've undertaken the supreme sacrifice of

maintaining this slender thread of ego attachment and have selflessly endured

the pain of the unnatural confines of a body, solely for the purpose of

ministering to these unworthy pretenders. l can bear it no longer. Oh, how l

would relinquish all my siddhis and samadhis ... how l would move heaven and

earth for one good disciple!

 

Shri Jerryananda,

Master of the 19th avataric plane and highest lokas

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Bhagwan Jerryananda!

> And so shall it be. l believe you are right, old friend. Now

>is finally the time for me to reveal that This Being is in reality

>Jerryananda, avatar of all avatars. l come forth at this time in order to

>formally disassociate myself with all of my former students who have brought

>disgrace upon not only myself but the three lineages which l've been forced

>to carry on simultaneously during these decadent days of the kaliyuga, when

>so few true masters are available. Because of these decadent times l was

>persuaded to believe that l could entrust these pretenders with long held

>secret tantric transmissions. Oh, how have l regretted that decision!

>

>

>

> Long ago in the

>very depths of the Himalayas l gathered together the students now known as

>Sathya Soy Burger, Mukti-with-young-girls-ananda, Gurumaymugger, Yoni

>Desai, Yogi Bhagan, Snatch-it-ananda, Kriyananda, Sogyal-soiled-pants

>Rinpoche and my once esteemed friend Kalu Rinpoche. l gave them pure gold --

 

This is wonderful!! :)))))))))))))

 

I hope you're planning to honor us with your precious presence at the

retreat this summer!

 

Love,

Dharma

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