Sri Hitler

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/10/00 9:05:07 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

mark.otter writes:

 

<< Forgiveness takes courage. Anyone ready

to come along? No TRYING to COMPREHEND the incomprehensible, ACCEPTING

the incomprehensible. FORGIVING the incomprehensible. Buttons,

buttons, buttons, they can go on forever. Start taking them apart now

 

Love (and more madness than you can see if you can't see the truth of

this...)

Mark

I'm willing to discuss problems all the way down (no bottom)... are you?

>>

 

Mark, l'm afraid l'm not really following you here. lt feels like a

challenge, though, which makes me worry that l may have offended you with my

last post. lf so, please know that was the last thing l wanted to do. You

seem very honest, sincere and heartfelt in expressing yourself, and l'm sure

that applies to your spiritual practice as well. lf there's anything you feel

we need to discuss, you might want to contact me off the list.

 

love,

jerry

[Guest guest]

G'day Mark,

 

I've become a bit of a lurker lately but wanted to say

that some of your postings create a strong response in

the pit of my stomach. I'm not always sure why, but I'm

obviously in a place that connects somehow with what you

say so beautifully. One example is the posting below:

 

Mark:

[snip]

I ask you to share this with me, as one person alone can

take a million lifetimes doing this. I'm prepared. Are

you? Nothing less, nothing more. nothing but love - my

new mantra - , and no escape until it's true with no other

thoughts. I don't suggest I've accomplished this goal,

but if you are not willing to make it your goal, too, what

compassion can you lay claim to?

 

Annie:

I have only one real aim in life: to be more and more aware

that I am one, being, now. For some reason that seems to also

be the same as your new mantra "... nothing but love". I'm not

sure why.

 

Mark:

Do you do tonglen?

 

Annie:

"tonglen"? Que?

 

Mark:

Are you prepared to take on my suffering?

 

Annie:

Yes, I am. I'm not sure how or why, but prepared to do this

for some incomprehensible reason.

 

 

Mark:

Let's dance this

one. I've said for years that what God meant when He said the

Jews are the chosen people, that He meant they would be raised

to the heights of forgiveness that the depths of their

persecution requires. Forgiveness takes courage.

 

 

Annie:

Yes, forgiveness takes a lot of courage, or the ability to

step back and disclaim a personally 'offended' self. I seem

to be coming from this angle more at the moment. Forgiveness

seems to happen more easily and naturally in my life this way.

....still some way to go though. I'm just leting it all happen

and waiting to see how it all goes.

 

Mark:

Anyone ready to come along? No TRYING to COMPREHEND the

incomprehensible, ACCEPTING the incomprehensible.

FORGIVING the incomprehensible.

 

Annie:

Nearly everything is incomprehensible, no? or totally

comprehensible? I suppose it depends on what you/I want

to know.

 

Mark:

Buttons, buttons, buttons,

they can go on forever. Start taking them apart now.

 

Annie:

I'm leaving my buttons well alone at the moment. Whatever

comes up, fine but I'm definitely not madly pressing them.

My plan is to let them all disolve before I even know they

exist

 

Mark:

Love (and more madness than you can see if you can't

see the truth of this...)

 

I'm willing to discuss problems all the way down (

no bottom)... are you?

 

Annie:

I guess so. What problems? What bottom?

 

You are beautiful Mark.

 

Love

Annie

 

 

____

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[Guest guest]

Hi Annie,

 

I always love hearing what you have to say. (but I understand the

desire to lurk a bit, as this list stuff is a full time job. wish I

could get paid for it - it's great fun.) I feel the same way in the pit

of my stomach often times, and think my stomach has something wonderful

to say to me, if I can learn the language and let the message in. I've

been noticing yawning and sighing a lot lately, and I notice that when I

sigh, especially out loud (try it, it's lovely), I start out high

pitched and let the frequency drop as the tension drains out. When I

first started this practice (and I think it is deep spiritual work), I

noticed that the sigh broke off some where along the way. I wanted it to

keep going, but it stopped by itself. I've gone to that place (how to

say this so it makes sense - not sure) and looked at the energy there,

which turned out to be internal blocks composed of fear. LOTS of fear.

It can be released, but it takes the willingness to sit in it and

recognize it directly. Now my sighs go much deeper (and when they stop

short, I notice new blocks I've recently installed) Now and then I find

another old deep one. Such joy to process that and let it go. I do

this in the shower and let it drain down into the Earth. (She's big and

wise and knows how to recycle the energy into living things. What an

ability!) Anyway, I see that the sigh has no bottom. I believe that

this is the same as your one real aim in life: to be more and more aware

that I am one, being, now. For me, trying to be aware of this is futile,

but relaxing and removing the blocks that reinforce my separateness

seems to work, but so many blocks! Wow, I am wrapped well. But isn't

the joy of Christmas presents taking off the wrapping and discovering

what is underneath? gosh we love that game - is this the reason why?

 

Tonglen is another wonderful approach. It reverses the habitual

response to pain, which is to try to get rid of it, and to get relief.

In tonglen, one breathes in another's pain and suffering and breathes

out peace, joy, harmony. It's learning how to do that wonderful thing

that the Earth does - transforming the energy of suffering into life

again. It can change our lives. Pema Chodron is a good teacher of

tonglen. Bernie Glassman leads retreats to Aushwitz, and does tonglen

there - wow. He also teaches people who want to help the homeless in

NYC what it is like to be homeless. (they go do it for a couple of

weeks - perhaps not quite the same as landing there without a net, but I

haven't found the courage to do the retreat... yet.) I guess I think

stepping out of the way and letting God take over takes courage, and

that once you've done so, courage is one of the toys you've abandoned,

just like the little red fire truck that you no longer need because now

you're a REAL fireman. but I don't know, except in moments of clarity,

surrounded by doubt and confusion, like small shiny coral atols,

surrounded by ocean.

 

Well, I gotta shower and go to work, but I want to thank you kind people

for your messages of support and love, and acknowledge that I really got

wound up here the past few days. I'm glad. It brought my attention to

my button of "leaving when the going gets rough". I've done that

repeatedly in this life, and would like to break the pattern. If we are

one (and we are more deeply than most can imagine), how can anyone

leave? This is what it's all about. leaving. (how can you leave me?

you ARE me) There's a wonderful poem by David Whyte that I have taped to

my monitor at work, as I question my identity as an academic. I'd like

to share it with you.

 

Love, Mark

 

The Journey

 

Above the mountains

the geese turn into

the light again

 

painting their

black sillouttes

on an open sky.

 

Sometimes everything

has to be

enscribed across

the heavens

 

so you can find

the one line

already written

inside you.

 

Sometimes it takes

a great sky

to find that

 

small, bright

and indescribable

wedge of freedom

in your own heart.

 

Sometimes with

the bones of the black

sticks left when the fire

has gone out

 

someone has written

something new

in the ashes

of your life.

 

You are not leaving

you are arriving.

 

G'day, Annie!

 

Annie Heppingstone wrote:

> G'day Mark,

>

> I've become a bit of a lurker lately but wanted to say

> that some of your postings create a strong response in

> the pit of my stomach. I'm not always sure why, but I'm

> obviously in a place that connects somehow with what you

> say so beautifully. One example is the posting below:

>

> Mark:

> [snip]

> I ask you to share this with me, as one person alone can

> take a million lifetimes doing this. I'm prepared. Are

> you? Nothing less, nothing more. nothing but love - my

> new mantra - , and no escape until it's true with no other

> thoughts. I don't suggest I've accomplished this goal,

> but if you are not willing to make it your goal, too, what

> compassion can you lay claim to?

>

> Annie:

> I have only one real aim in life: to be more and more aware

> that I am one, being, now. For some reason that seems to also

> be the same as your new mantra "... nothing but love". I'm not

> sure why.

>

> Mark:

> Do you do tonglen?

>

> Annie:

> "tonglen"? Que?

>

> Mark:

> Are you prepared to take on my suffering?

>

> Annie:

> Yes, I am. I'm not sure how or why, but prepared to do this

> for some incomprehensible reason.

>

>

> Mark:

> Let's dance this

> one. I've said for years that what God meant when He said the

> Jews are the chosen people, that He meant they would be raised

> to the heights of forgiveness that the depths of their

> persecution requires. Forgiveness takes courage.

>

>

> Annie:

> Yes, forgiveness takes a lot of courage, or the ability to

> step back and disclaim a personally 'offended' self. I seem

> to be coming from this angle more at the moment. Forgiveness

> seems to happen more easily and naturally in my life this way.

> ...still some way to go though. I'm just leting it all happen

> and waiting to see how it all goes.

>

> Mark:

> Anyone ready to come along? No TRYING to COMPREHEND the

> incomprehensible, ACCEPTING the incomprehensible.

> FORGIVING the incomprehensible.

>

> Annie:

> Nearly everything is incomprehensible, no? or totally

> comprehensible? I suppose it depends on what you/I want

> to know.

>

> Mark:

> Buttons, buttons, buttons,

> they can go on forever. Start taking them apart now.

>

> Annie:

> I'm leaving my buttons well alone at the moment. Whatever

> comes up, fine but I'm definitely not madly pressing them.

> My plan is to let them all disolve before I even know they

> exist

>

> Mark:

> Love (and more madness than you can see if you can't

> see the truth of this...)

>

> I'm willing to discuss problems all the way down (

> no bottom)... are you?

>

> Annie:

> I guess so. What problems? What bottom?

>

> You are beautiful Mark.

>

> Love

> Annie

>

>

> ____

> Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com

>

> -----

>

> -----

> //

>

> All paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights,

> perceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and

> subside back into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not

> different than the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the

> nature of Awareness. Awareness does not come and go but is always

> Present. It is Home. Home is where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart

> to be the Finality of Eternal Being. A true devotee relishes in the

> Truth of Self-Knowledge, spontaneously arising from within into It

> Self. Welcome all to a.

>

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