Christiana/Charcoal Body

[Guest guest]

<< Your image of the "charcoal body" struck a chord. Can you say more

about how you have seen this and, knowing your interest in Alchemy, how

this image has transformed? >>

 

Christiana...

 

Like I said in the text, "I woke up three days latter, not knowing who

I was or where I was. I got up that morning, I will always remember,

coming to think nothing had changed. It was only when I sat at a table

to write something, that I realized that something drastic had happened.

The fun part of the psychosis was over. Giving the order from my mind to

my arm to write a few words on a piece of paper, I saw only lines that

looked like a cardiogram printout. The links from my social mind to the

manifestation of it were totally non existent.

 

This sharp veil, that was turning like glass under the fire of the

Seraphim, left behind a thick layer of charcoal, a dark and heavy subtle

body. Wanting to create a diamond from charcoal, I had forgot about the

darker part of the charcoal that would come out of the process."

 

The strange thing is that I could walk, I could talk, I could breath

normally... Finally all the things that my body learned to do before the

age of 5, I could do them. But when it came to doing things learned in

school, or as a social being, like writing I could not do it. The social

being of habit was dead or buried in some way in a dark blank that I

call her the charcoal body. My mind could give the order for my hand to

draw the letter "a", but only a line of no signification would come out

from my pen. Looking at tv, to take another example, also was strange

in that period, the tv screen would be to my eye light of various

colors, the image formed on the screen was of no signification to my

brain, it was much more fascinated by the electrical aspect of light in

the screen than the image it was trying to reconstruct. There was

absolutely no "reality" in the scenario projected on the screen. It was

like showing a tv set to a monkey for the first time, nothing much there

except colors. The real banana that someone would put on the top was of

much more interest.

 

So I was blank, to all the social aspects that make our daily lives. It

came back gradually... But I must say, even today, that I am dead to

this world, even if I may stay still for hours to watch a flower open in

all its glory or love the women I love like no one could.

 

I started to work manually with my hands, workings wood a few minute a

day, to a few hours after a week. And so own, and so own... Until I

regained all my social skills. They where regained, it is a big

difference. But a fear goes away in learning that we can regain our

skills. We start losing the fear of losing our skills.

 

One thing was strange walking in this world where all actions guided by

social constructs stop to mean anything. Someone could be talking to me,

and I could start observing that part of is or her body where talking to

mine, outside of the talking consciousness of the other. I started

listening to that part of the person talking to me rather to simply the

words. The words are my fantasy, the cherry on the sunday, the tip of

the iceberg, the flower growing on a tree.

 

The image transformed of course, over the years, in so many ways. Going

planting trees 3 years latter, to take an example. Planting 150 000

trees in 6 weeks to be exact, my body came to adapt to a new way of

life. The repetitive action of planting more than 6 trees a minutes, 10

hours a day, with a five minute break every hour, not one minute more.

The sleep came to change, 6 hours where enough. The thinking pattern was

keep to that of an animal. So when this period of 6 weeks finished,

coming back to town, I did not need to sleep one minute for 5

consecutive days. It was just fascinating then to come to watch how

thinking, instead of just doing, would create a need for sleep. There

was no charcoal body after the 5 days not sleeping. "Au contraire",

everyone would tell me that I looked in perfect shape. And more

important I felt in perfect shape. The sleep pattern came back

gradually. Needing just an hour of sleep after five days, to a little

bit more each day, as the animal planting trees would come back to

pattern of a social urban thinker.

 

There is no more diamond to seek, so there is no more charcoal body to

leave behind as the transformation goes own with the flow. I enjoy as

much sleeping, as not sleeping. As says the Chinese Proverb : "If I'm

dreaming, never let me wake. If I'm awake, never let me sleep."

 

But lets not forget also this Chinese Proverb: There are two perfect

men; one dead, and the other unborn."

 

<<Antoine..

 

Your exquisite gift with prose moves through several languages.

 

I have had a similar vision of a cloud being the symbol of the interface

of personality. In my case it contained the templates for personality

whose magnetic fields of manifestation, I saw I had choice whether or

not to activate. The cloud of unknowing, the cloud of knowing. >>

 

I would love to hear more about it... When you have time.

 

<<

> I can only see the cloud formation over the Mount Olympus as a symbol of the

> personality that was overlaid between my body and this world. Focusing

> on the Gods within and without, - within and without separated by this

> cloud (the veil) - , the direct contact between the mountain and the sky

> was not felt by any attachment to my mind. Coming down from the clouds

> of my human personality, the mountain could start to breath directly in

> the sky again. Adam was reborn.

 

Your image of the "charcoal body" struck a chord. Can you say more

about how you have seen this and, knowing your interest in Alchemy, how

this image has transformed?

 

Respectfully,

Christiana >>

 

Your insight is felt like a sun touching a flower. Thank you for this

breath of life.

Antoine