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Welcome to the list, Colette.

 

I do hope it will provide a safe and friendly

environment for you to grow and heal in.

 

On Fri, 28 Apr 2000 00:54:44 Colette wrote:

 

Greg:

>>Normally, from the seekers I've known who want realization

>> *and* a different picture, is that realization alone will do it.

 

Colette:

>Well I must admit some gurus just pictch the transcendence will do it line!

Then provide no >back up for the psyche disintegrating & screaming.

 

I must agree with Greg in this matter.

As long as there is a "psyche", as long as there

is "someonedisintegrating" and screaming,

the process cannot really be called transcendence, because what is transcended,

namely the mind, still hasn't been transcended.

There has merely been a temporary state of

"something", samadhi, or

whatever one wishes to call it,

on the path to the loss of paths.

 

Surrender has not yet fully taken place.

 

When full "transcendence" has taken place,

"manifestation" is not volitional, as there

is no longer anyone to wish a manifestation.

This is not a question of losing the personality, as in the personality

disappearing,

it is rather a question of losing identification

with the personality and knowing nothing of it

was ever owned.

>It's tricky. I know. I myself would have never known there was unfinished

business except I >have body sensations (aches) & even anxiety which signals hey

here's another vulnerable >child issue asking for begging for your own attention

(no longer repression).

 

Yes, diffuse body pains are often

signals of repressed material.

And this takes a lot of courage and honesty

to be able to face squarely.

Most ppl are unable to do it, and need some

extra incentive to even start, usually

this comes in form of a personal crisis and

then often an attraction towards existential

and spiritual questions in an attempt to

solve these issues.

 

A lot of time can be spent muddling around

the edges of the issues, trying to avoid them

but constantly being brought back and then again

trying to negotiate a kind of path past it.

It cannot be negotiated past, the only way to

"picklock" one's way "past" old issues is to

recognize the issues for what they are.

However, this takes time.

 

With a permanent abolition of the attachement

to the mind, the body is not felt any

longer and there are no diffuse pains.

In fact, the body itself will be felt diffuse.

As Jan mentioned some time ago,

sensations such a touch and processes such

as breathing will continue for a long

time, but the awareness of the body will

have changed.

Body sensations may also change before

full surrender, its edges becoming diffuse and

blurry. Indeed, as they say in science:

Absence of evidence is no evidence of absence.

;)

>Ok wow. I honestly don't know if there can be an after. How can a lost ego find

its Self even >in psychotherapy?

 

But wasn't that what you said at first ?

That there is first "transcendence" and then

"manifestation", during which time

one resolves childhood and abuse issues ?

 

Just wondering...

 

 

Love,

 

Amanda.

 

 

 

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Hi Amanda,

 

I agree with your agreement with me!

>I must agree with Greg in this matter.

>As long as there is a "psyche", as long as there

>is "someonedisintegrating" and screaming,

>the process cannot really be called transcendence,

>because what is transcended,

>namely the mind, still hasn't been transcended.

>There has merely been a temporary state of

>"something", samadhi, or

>whatever one wishes to call it,

>on the path to the loss of paths.

>

>Surrender has not yet fully taken place.

>

>When full "transcendence" has taken place,

>"manifestation" is not volitional, as there

>is no longer anyone to wish a manifestation.

 

Agreed! I think the kind of discussion like in the Tricycle article is

possible only when the concept of realization at play refers to a passing

experience. That's a kind of experience that still leaves the "me" to take

stock of the experience. A given "me" can have more than one of these

experiences. So like you say, surrender hasn't been full yet. The author

in question is from the Zen tradition, and is also a psychotherapist. So

his notion of awakening is sort of psychologically-based. But I think he

makes some very good points.

 

Love,

 

--Greg

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Hi. Sharing a few more ideas here ... It's lovely to keep discussing.

 

Greg Goode wrote:

> Hi Amanda,

>

> I agree with your agreement with me!

>

> >I must agree with Greg in this matter.

> >As long as there is a "psyche", as long as there

> >is "someonedisintegrating" and screaming,

> >the process cannot really be called transcendence,

> >because what is transcended,

> >namely the mind, still hasn't been transcended.

> >There has merely been a temporary state of

> >"something", samadhi, or

> >whatever one wishes to call it,

> >on the path to the loss of paths.

> >

> >Surrender has not yet fully taken place.

> >

> >When full "transcendence" has taken place,

> >"manifestation" is not volitional, as there

> >is no longer anyone to wish a manifestation.

>

> Agreed! I think the kind of discussion like in the Tricycle article is

> possible only when the concept of realization at play refers to a passing

> experience. That's a kind of experience that still leaves the "me" to take

> stock of the experience. A given "me" can have more than one of these

> experiences. So like you say, surrender hasn't been full yet. The author

> in question is from the Zen tradition, and is also a psychotherapist. So

> his notion of awakening is sort of psychologically-based. But I think he

> makes some very good points.

>

> Love,

>

> --Greg

 

I understand where you are both coming from. Some say it can be described thus ~

Realisation may not be unity consciousness ~ yet. I shared this at non duality

salon with Dan .

 

Wellwood may be talking about what some might call the 5th state of

consciousness. In this state the Absolute awareness cannot leave you. You are

awakened Cosmic Mind. That Being.

But there is still some relativity in your experience. Personality is still

present, coexisting with Being. It may be a confusing stage to move through.

 

It moves into 6th & 7th states of Consciousness. 5th may be called Cosmic

Consciousness (my tradition calls it that). From the alternation of activity &

inactivity during meditation, now both awarenesses may coexist outside of

meditation, yet still be alternating. Hence the confusion. 6th state of

consciousness apparently is moving into God Consciousness (now the divine is

being perceived everywhere in all things perhaps as personalised expressions).

 

Then 7th state of Consciousness (Unity Consciousness) is apparently the ultimate

~ and completely Absolute. The relativity still present after awakened

realisation is gone. One might call it Self actualisation I guess. Everything is

Seen as OneSelf. I guess what Greg & Amanda might call the 7th state Realised. I

might call it the absorption & embodiment of Realised Being.

 

I will share what Yvan Amar has said in an interview. Yvan Amar was a great

being, teacher and friend to many Gurus. He recently died. Here are some of his

words which I believe cover these states from awakening & realisation ~ to

actualisation (or embodiment) of the One we All are.

 

Interview with Yvan Amar

 

It was November. I was brought to the Swami's room. Nothing extraordinary

happened, but I immediately knew several things. The beauty I saw in that man

was for me an undeniable testimony. This beauty could only be given by an

experience of the ultimate.

Standing in front of him I felt that I could never forget him and I never would

lie to him.

 

With him I could live what we in the Western world know so rarely: the total

relationship with a human being. He truly embodied what is meant by the word

`guru'. In sanskrit, this word means `weight'- what has weight and is heavy. The

words `gravity' and `gravitation' come from the same root.] The guru is a person

of weight, as one can say that a word is heavy - having an important meaning -

or that person has a lot of weight on the scale of decision making. The guru is

the weight of what he represents because he embodies this spirit he has realized

- he carries the weight of this

experience. He gives weight, importance, to what surrounds him. He gives a

center of gravity to things. Things which were out he sets back to their natural

center of gravity. When one is in the guru's presence, one is transformed by

this effect and right away one feels linked to the Real. The relationship I've

had with him has been that kind of linkage. It is beyond words.

 

It is really a pity that today,[in the West], the word `guru' has become a word

of insult. When we hear the media speaking of a guru, they are usually speaking

of one person trying to manipulate and exploit others. Although really the guru

is the archetype of the most accomplished person, of the Sage, of the rare human

being capable of Loving. You will never find any cult surrounding these beings.

 

In India, there are what are called `ashrams'. These are places of discipline,

of effort, where people try to escape from the only cult existing on earth - the

cult of selfishness. Ashrams are

schools of vigilance, of consciousness, of trying to leave behind personal

interests. This reality is indeed very far away from the one held around here

[in the West].

 

With the guru, the closer you get to him, the more his presence reminds you not

to sleep. Being near him was being near me! Where I could once hope to

perpetuate a dream, I was now being forced to be near myself, to end the myth I

tried to perpetuate about my relationship to him. Having a guru is the exact

opposite of alienating oneself to another.

 

An accumulation of experience can never change a person. On the other hand, when

the crucial experience occurs, the one called Awakening, Illumination, then

there is a radical seeing of what gives meaning to all these experiences. Then

there is a change. This is the only difference that can exist between one person

and another. One's life is only the addition of all one's experiences, one's

understanding is also due to the sum of experiences, and its meaning is only due

to this sum. Then there is the one in which there has been this dramatic

experience which is more than the sum of

one's experiences. which gives meaning not only to one's experiences, but to all

there is. Suddenly everything has a meaning, IS meaning, because in the heart of

experience we ARE that meaning.

 

Awakening, Illumination gives a lethal strike which attacks the heart of our

behavior, the mechanism of personal interest which used to lead our behavior,

everything which created our way of behaving, [but more years are needed for

this new way of being to really take place.]

 

In 1979 came a crucial confrontation. Even though I had lived near Chandra

Swami, Jean Klein, and Poonjaji, I had the feeling that I was living a lie, and

that I did not really live in tune with myself. I'd become a relatively

respected yogi, I could stay still for a couple of hours in silence, I dressed

in white, and I had a relatively controlled life, but inside I knew I was still

the same. I had modified a lot of things, but deep in my heart nothing had

changed. I realized that for years I had been aiming for something which was

located outside the world, transcending it, what we

would call Being, the Soul, the Real, something Unchanging that fear cannot

reach. I became aware it was an ultimate hiding place thatI was looking for and

that all the teachings I received were received only because they were giving

security from the fear I had of the world. I was always looking for a `beyond' -

beyond the body, beyond emotions, beyond thoughts, beyond change, and beyond

duality. In fact, that search for a point `beyond' was always a way

to escape from what was right here.

 

At one point I saw that lie and saw that deep in me it didn't fit me, that I

couldn't live in a thing like that I also felt that in the world there was a way

to act in tune with oneself, and if I tried to know what was my own way and was

practicing it, I would be on the path of Being. I realized then there could be

two ways, that Enlightenment, Awakening, was not only transcendent, out of the

world. I had lived a misunderstanding, what could be called the `exclusive

privilege of transcendence', as if the transcendental had exclusive privilege of

the Real, and that in the world there

was no other possibility than to live first the transcendent, and then come back

to the world. Deep in me I felt the answer was no.

 

There should exist a way in the world, a way of the immanent, where it was

possible to live the Real. I thought I was taking an enormous risk, but I knew I

couldn't do anything else. I couldn't

go back, nor make a U-turn. I was taking the risk to leave everything I had been

doing for years. Suddenly, I was getting rid of my status as a great yogi, of

someone who could create inner silence, etc. I told my wife that day, "I'm

taking an incredible chance. I renounce everything that I believed for so many

years, but I don't give up. I just renounce a certain way of looking. Maybe I'll

become like those I was laughing at in the past, the ordinary person who watches

TV, goes to the movies, and acts like everybody else." And I added,"It is

stronger than me - I cannot do anything

else." I took the risk of life, the risk not to look for anything beyond.

 

At once I gave up everything which made me live. It has been total - nothing was

preserved, nothing was kept. I progressively felt something I never felt since I

was born.I felt Life itself. I went to what was there and felt that Life come

into me. There are very simple experiences which come at that time, but they are

absolutes. I felt that Life was loving me, as I was, like I was.

 

It is like if this Life had been waiting for me. I then understood why the great

mystics were talking of the Divine Mother, because this feeling of the love of

Life towards us, it is like the absolute feeling of love of a mother. We have

the feeling to be in the arms of the Divine Mother. This was no vision, no

hallucination - it was something very simple, very solid, very immediate, which

was taking me from inside and that I was recognizing I really had the feeling

that life was loving me.

 

An absolute feeling of confidence was growing. As much as I used to feel in

conflict, in separation, in permanent fear, now grew a confidence in Life. The

immediate feeling was that this confidence was my nature. This experience only

grew bigger for three days until there was an absolute trust in what was there,

not needing it to be an object. And then everything disappeared - the Divine

Mother, Yvan Amar, and there was only an absolute reality in which

there was no division, no conflicts. This was the obviousness of Being.

Everything I had heard about was the obviousness, was what I was. Everything

that I saw was bringing me back to that Reality I was. And of course any idea

about reaching something had vanished forever, thus nothing was to be reached,

thus I had always been this.

 

And it was obvious that what Ramakrishna and my Master had spoken about, and

what all the great scriptures I'd read said was,"Everything in fact is

Brahman,[the Real]"The only thing I

could tell people visiting me was also obvious,"You are also This." It was

obvious, every being was This. To say "I am That" or "You are That" was the same

thing. What was the great surprise of this awakening was that it was This, that

which I tried to go beyond in order to realize it somewhere else, in

transcending.

 

It was revealed that this life was flowing from instant to instant, this

permanent change, this great process that was the Real, and that it was the fear

of this change that had made me look for an immovable reality beyond change.

This changing was reality and to be the reality was to be that change and not to

be out of balance with that change - it is to be one with the movement of Life.

I had looked for years for an eternal knowledge which could end all ignorance

and in fact, I found no knowledge. This movement by its nature is mystery, and

to be in the movement of Life is to BE

the mystery. Thus it was not to know the mystery where at once something was

known, but to know the mystery as we ARE the mystery. When I was asked at that

time what was the meaning of this awakening, I replied,"It is very simple. I

shifted from a sorrowful misunderstanding to a joyful misunderstanding."

 

It had carefully erased in me the idea of an acquired knowledge, and this

joyful ignorance, this joyful misunderstanding was a lot more intelligent than

all the knowings I had learned. This lasted a week or ten days. As it was not

something I had learned, but was my true nature, I never imagined this could

disappear, could stop, although as suddenly as it came - but it never `came' - I

found myself out of balance, again in duality, in the feeling of separation. It

was hell, because there is no other way of living separation but as hell, when

one had been living united in a

non-dual state. I was completely lost. I used to ask myself,"How could one lose

this?". And then several things occurred to me which explained many things about

the personal behavior of some awakened beings and teachers.

 

First, there is the universal feeling of enormous loss that is felt when one is

not anymore in that consciousness, and I think many beings balance that loss - I

did it in the beginning - through the

worship given to them by their fellows and friends, due to the fact that the

person who has lived such an experience has charisma. Then grows this

relationship around worship. The person who doesn't live Awakening anymore, but

has such charisma feels fed by the adoration of the people who are really

fascinated by this charisma. This is one of the first great traps of the one

beginning to be Awakened.

 

[The interviewer asks Yvan if this Awakening is what is referred to as

`kundalini awakening' or `shaktipat']

 

If you mean by shaktipat this awakening of consciousness, this obviousness in

the middle of which one is apart from nothing, where one is everything which has

been and will be, that there is nothing to wait for nothing ever that was lost,

synonymous with the absence of fear, where there is the infinite ability to

love, if this is what you call `shaktipat', I agree and say,"this is it." To me,

there is an appropriate word - `awakening'. To me, the awakening of kundalini is

the beginning of a process of which the fulfillment is non-dual enlightenment,

where there are no others.

 

Something we don't realize in the beginning is that once one has lived

Awakening, one has only one idea in mind, and that is to live it again, to

recreate it. It took me a long time to understand that awakening was impossible

to be lived again - it is only to be embodied. Time was needed to slowly and

progressively embody that process for it to become more and more alive .For a

long time we try to reproduce what through memory becomes a phenomena, as if it

had been a phenomena, although it is not one. Then one is again the prisoner of

psychological mechanisms which make it an object

of memory and as something reproducible - and it's not - one can never reproduce

Enlightenment. The only possibility is to cooperate with the awakening process

which started, and as long as one does it in the most sincere and honest manner,

one becomes a better transmitter of that process.

 

I went to see Chandra Swami. He gave me a teaching that I was to live a life

enabling this consciousness to incarnate more in me. (Yvan tells of Swamiji

asking him to teach, showing him how to teach, to transmit and initiate.) I

started to teach, but wanted it to be discreet, as I had the feeling that what I

was living was still growing, and I was to elaborate a specific teaching I

didn't yet know. This was extraordinary. I wasn't to serve the people a

ready-made gimmick. I felt that what I lived was allowing a Teaching in the

heart of the relationship with the people coming to see

me. And this is what happened.

>From 1989, people came.At the beginning I felt people came because of me, what I

was bearing. They would ask questions, and from the answers coming out of our

relating, a teaching started to grow. In fact, it was the teaching which was

important, not so much the person they were talking to. Meanwhile, the process

of embodying the Awakened state kept growing. I was not what one could dream

about as a Satguru, who is an absolute incarnation of the Real. I felt growing

in me something which was my nature, my destiny, which was more and more obvious

in the relationship I had with my

people. I noticed people were becoming more and more disciples of this teaching,

and not of me. At first the teacher had been important, but slowly the teaching

was becoming more important.

 

I then understood that this was allowing people not to have a master anymore,

but to be disciples of a teaching in which they recognized themselves. This

teaching had the traditional basis of all teachings, in that it was revealing

the wrong mechanisms which perpetuate the dream, the sleep, and it was also

feeding the remembrance (through traditional practices) of the presentiment of

the Real and making it grow in everyone. A teaching was thus born which had

nothing to do with it's beginning context, which was India. This teaching is

really born in the West. Slowly, a terminology, a

language of this teaching was structured.

 

At the same time, I saw - and if I didn't see it, my wife did - lapses in my own

life. Some things were not yet clear. I realized that in the middle of this

unfoldment was still some selfishness.

This has to be said. One can be Enlightened and at the same time be stuck in

egoic mechanisms of self-protection, when the Awakening doesn't touch all parts

of one's being. It's important to say here that the intelligence of the

Enlightenment brings to light only those places inside to which we have opened

the doors. Then all the work is to keep on opening the doors of the dark areas

for the light of Awakening to come in. It is alive in me. In the heart of my

being, I know I am Free. I know I am Awakened, Enlightened, and undeniably Free.

At the same time, I knew this was not

enough, and that there are places of consciousness which have to be penetrated

by that quality, that intelligence.

 

Something becomes obvious, which is the need of an ethic. This ethic is not

something which comes by force to give beings a civilized polish, but it is to

recognize in one's own heart that

there are fundamental laws that lead life, and it is only when we are in tune

with those laws that we are in tune with the Force which leads the world and its

great religions, which is Love. This

has been my last great opening on the path. It was through the life with my

family that I felt the great forces through which the Awakening could be

embodied more and more in life. I had always thought that Awakening could deny

morals, as Awakening is morality itself, its own law, but in fact it is not.

 

There are differences among the Awakened teachers due to what extent their

opening has acknowledged the laws of Love and Life. Then the teaching which

arises is not only of Freedom, but also of Wisdom and Responsibility. To love

is to be responsible.

 

It is unthinkable to get Enlightened alone - one makes the wholeness grow. The

teaching I was giving was not to create Enlightened ones, but to help beings

recognize that they are already Free - not to make people think they should get

Enlightenedfor themselves alone in order to get an advantage, but to realizewe

could grow together.

 

There is a teaching today which arises from everywhere and that I've

experienced in conscious relationship which is that it is impossible to grow

without growing together. It is a question with

implications for the whole human species. Today's teaching cannot be for

personal Awakening. People grow in a relationship where there is neither the

other nor I who grows, but the relating from one to the other which makes both

of us grow.

 

The Awakened one has a function in the growing of the world. I call an Awakened

one the one whose function is to make people evolve. The Philosopher's Stone

transforms metals into gold, it makes them grow towards gold. What happens when

a metal meets the Philosopher's Stone? The metal realizes that it's true nature

is to be gold. It is not to be iron, but it is a state of growing of gold. One

is freed because one is not only iron but one is gold in the form of iron, in a

growing stage. The Philosopher's Stone doesn't produce Philosopher's Stones. It

is subtle, but important, because

a lot of people come to a teaching and want to be like the teacher. It is a

mistake. The role of a teacher is to be a teacher, but this is not everyone's

destiny. The Awakened state one lives is related to one's duty.

 

(Interviewer) So you link the duty of teaching with the state of

being Awake?

(Yvan) Yes, to the Awakened duty.

(Interviewer) Don't you think one can be Awakened without being ateacher?

(Yvan) Yes, absolutely, but in that case I don't call them awakened, I call them

freed.

(Interviewer) Is the inner state the same?

(Yvan) One has recognized what is identical between oneself and the Awakened

one. When one approaches the Awakened one, one feels that what they say is what

oneself says. One recognizes they share in common the same Freedom. The person

is Free because nothing can

make him captive of the others. This growing Freedom has many ways to express

itself. It could be a salesperson, a publisher, a designer, or whatever, it is

not important. To be an Awakened one is to be that vision which gives

recognition of the nature of Freedom, and also the skill to teach. This is a

very specific thing. Inherent in the state of Awakening of a teacher is a

quality which gives him or her through the years the authority of transmission,

the ability to transmit. Every being living this Liberation is contagious, but

there is a great difference between

contagiousness and transmission. For me, an Awakened one is contagious to the

time and place in which he lives. He's traditionally a traitor. He is going to

betray the old forms to reveal the new ones. He's going to give a shape of today

to the eternal in the teaching he gives. But the quality of consciousness of the

Awakened one and those of any being who has recognized

profoundly their nature to be Freedom and not separate from what Is -this is

completely identical. There is no difference in quality - this is sure. This is

the final goal of any teaching, and at the same time the teaching finds in the

Awakened state that which invites people to grow together.

 

I noticed that when I was a student around other students that there was a

great rivalry among them to know who was going to Awaken, who were the most

ready. They would speak ill of one another. Although Awakening has nothing to do

with something one deserves, I noticed that a teaching that put Awakening in the

first rank had a tendency to make the endeavor very individual, personal, and to

make people very selfish.

 

What I wanted to put in the teaching was the obligation to relate to one another

and forget about the personal goal of Awakening, Illumination, Enlightenment,

and to recognize that it is only possible to grow together, taking a risk with

the other, so in meeting we could find together what we are not able to find

alone. I saw that the great things I realized was because my family or the

people I was relating with helped me. I realized that the peak of the teaching

is when one ceases to be the victim of the other and becomes his disciple. Then

it is possible to say that something has

happened.

 

When we forget this obsession with Awakening, we can really begin to relate

with what is. I understood that in India, an important thing is not only meeting

the guru, but extending the guru to all that exists, to meet the Real in

everything, everywhere. The great teaching there was to keep consciously

relating with everything. This is the choice to grow which is by it's nature,

the nature of awareness. In Sanskrit, `Brahman' means `to grow' We see that

growing doesn't bring us to a reality - growing IS the reality.

 

When Christ says,"I am the way, the truth, the life." he does not say,"I am the

end of the way." He says,I am the way." In fact, when we enter the process of

permanent growth and we don't try to reach a permanent destination, a final goal

that we call `Awakening' or something else, the growth itself becomes the living

consciousness, and in that growth everything is included. I can say that people

living this live the change we talked about before. '

 

~Yvan Amar~

 

Best Regards,

 

Colette

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