Guest guest Posted May 8, 2000 Report Share Posted May 8, 2000 Since joining this list I seem to be in a mode of writing messages, only to never send them. I get my thoughts typed out and then it all seems to be meaningless - so I just delete them. Why clutter a perfectly good list. :-) Let's see if this one makes it. On the ND list I came across a message that asked: "What is the scariness that you're feeling that you don't want to look at?" I really found that interesting, in that I have known for quite some time what it is that I am the most afraid of - myself. This is probably a bit off of the beaten path, but I'll fill in a few details. While I was growing up, I always felt out of place with those around me because I had no identity like "everyone else". I would pick and choose what parts of others that I wanted to become and became that. Those around me seemed to demand that I become something, so I filled in the gaps, so to speak. I felt that I was more of what others wanted versus being just plain 'ol me. My initial entry to this list brought this reply: "Just be yourself." For me, those are very dangerous and heart-warming words. As I grapple with other people's baggage, that I have loaded on the cart for my own, I can only be thankful for this list finding it's way to me. Between the voices of imagination and the desire for greatness, I keep myself busy, knowing full well that what we are cannot be otherwise - no matter what I do. Shalom. Paul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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