Mary did this, and I am NOT responsible...

[Guest guest]

HI Gang,

 

I cant' believe how you have affected my dear friend Mary... So innocent

once. So beautiful, so nice...

 

and now:

 

HI Mark,

Here's some more titles for judy or whoever else you want to offend:

 

The Top 25 Country and Western Songs of all time

 

25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You

Good-bye.

 

24. Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure.

 

23. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

 

22. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

 

21. I Just Bought A Car From A Guy Who Stole My Girl, But

The Car Don't Run, So I Figure We Got An Even Deal.

 

20. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You.

 

19. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.

 

18 I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.

 

17. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.

 

16. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.

 

15. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here.

 

14. I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin' On My Back and Cryin' Over

You.

 

13. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You.

 

12. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now.

 

11. Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head).

 

10. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love You.

 

9. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him.

 

8. Please Bypass This Heart.

 

7. She Got The Ring --- I Got The Finger.

 

6. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat.

 

5. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.

 

4. If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

 

3. She's Actin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles

 

2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer.

 

And the Number 1 Country and Western song of all Time is:

 

1. I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women But I've

Sure Woke Up With A Few.

 

Let's face it, this list has ruined my life... (but I don't mind...)

 

Love, Mark