Meditation and energy

[Guest guest]

Namaste All,

 

I have found several things with regard to K and meditation.

If I use

japa or beads it helps channel the energy before going into

meditation.

 

If I dont meditate the energy causes me some stress/psyche

problems

and even some heart irregularities. It seems one cannot go

back. I

don't intend to but sometimes I get busy or there is

interference,

which prevents me meditating at the usual appointment time

etc. Or I

go through dry spiritual periods when I don't meditate much.

Just

oscillating between the mundane and the spiritual.

 

So for me it seems, I can't shut the K prana down, I just

have

to

keep

it channeled or it works away without me.

 

Another problem is that although I seemed to have worked most of my

obvious problems out, with regard to quitting Sai Baba. I seem to

have

to continue to fight cynicism and other lower plane feelings and

tendencies, that manifest. This is probably due to lack of some

focus,

which I am working on with Siva/Sakti as an energy not a human type

form. One has to be careful not to throw the baby out with the bath

water, but I do notice I may have been too interested in mundane

affairs lately. Perhaps I am working something out, 9 months isn't a

long time after 15 years.

 

I seem to be withdrawing from the anger and images and memories now.

It is an interesting process to watch, but sad as well. For I

regressed somewhat after quitting S.B. Lucky for me I was into

adwaita

otherwise as a bhakti, I may have been in serious trouble

 

Luckily I published a few articles but it may be time for me to

forget

him, even negatively. One can only do so much to protect and warn. We

all run our own race I suppose.

 

I suppose I have to get back to where I was originally and work from

there. It has been a trying time, a tug o war, between the more

spiritual and the more mundane. No doubt this is a periodic event

anyway and it coincided with my spiritual disappointment some nine

months ago.

 

It never ceases to amaze me, the depth of ones hidden and lurking

samskaras.

 

Only time works it seems.

 

Om Namah Sivaya, Tony.