Guest guest Posted September 9, 2000 Report Share Posted September 9, 2000 Hi all, This I wrote a while back. Still lookin'. Victor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If only I didn't waste my time at the computer If only my wife were interested in spiritual things If only I could be in a spiritual community If only I could practice more If only that didn't happen then I could practice If only my mind would stop these thousands of thoughts If only I understood what to do or not do If only I had lots of money If only I were really aware If only I knew what to do If only I could find a realized person If only I could go to India or Nepal If only I could truly love myself If only I could truly love others If only ... If only ... If only ... Help I'm tired of all the dead ends and alleys to nowhere. Do I really want to keep going on the spiritual path? Should I just drop it? What to do? What to do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2000 Report Share Posted September 9, 2000 Dear Victor, I know what you mean. There is this dead end place that is unpleasant to say the least. I seem to be spending a good deal of time there these days. (and people like Judi and Michael and OH (Indra each and everyone of them) keep patting me on the back for some reason and talking about ego death and how wonderful the other side is...) I want to smack each and every one of them at times. On the other hand, I wonder if perhaps you and I (and everyone in that place) might not be wise to listen to our own advice that we have often given and often heard and often seen the truth of, that we are already what we are seeking. I mean that perhaps something already is, but that we are looking at the wrong end of things. I feel, when I am there, a great deal of frustration that "I" don't get it. "I" am just in huge pain, and everything makes me hurt and all I can do is say "what if". While it is very difficult to imagine in that place that "I" may not exist, and from where I am today, it is much easier because it is theoretical ("I" am feeling fine today so imagining not existing is not a big deal, I just imagine it and laugh because it clearly isn't true at this time, and I'm not worried about the future today) Perhaps it is ("I" am speculating here) Perhaps it is in that place in particular that "I" must let go of "I" to see the light. Good luck, Victor. If you are in that place, let go and tell me what happens. Perhaps your courage will enable mine. Gate, Gate, Paragate, Parasamgate, Bodhi Svaha! (Svaha, dude!) Love, Mark Victor Torrico wrote: > > > Hi all, > > This I wrote a while back. Still lookin'. > > Victor > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > If only I didn't waste my time at the computer > > If only my wife were interested in spiritual things > > If only I could be in a spiritual community > > If only I could practice more > > If only that didn't happen then I could practice > > If only my mind would stop these thousands of thoughts > > If only I understood what to do or not do > > If only I had lots of money > > If only I were really aware > > If only I knew what to do > > If only I could find a realized person > > If only I could go to India or Nepal > > If only I could truly love myself > > If only I could truly love others > > If only ... > > If only ... > > If only ... > > > Help I'm tired of all the dead ends and alleys to nowhere. Do I > really want > to keep going on the spiritual path? Should I just drop it? What to > do? > What to do? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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